1. The Frame: See-Feel-Do-Get
Lesson 3
The Frame: See-Feel-Do-Get

3. Tiger We do not respond to things based on what they are.
We respond based on what we think they are.

5. In most situations or relationships, we are either getting the results we want to be getting or not. If we are getting what’s important to us, we should keep doing what we’re doing, feeling what we’re feeling, and seeing it the way we’re seeing it. Don’t change a thing.

6. But what if we’re not getting what’s important to us?
This is when the Top 20s and Bottom 80s respond to the Frame differently.

7. Bottom responses when not getting desired results.80
Change Nothing
Change ‘Do’
Blame
Give away power
Become a victim
Stuck in yuck
Let’s consider three common Bottom 80 responses.
First is to change nothing: A frequent Bottom 80 response is to change nothing but expect things to get better. But what happens? Nothing. So on Friday of the Lanesboro reunion Tom pouted. That didn’t work, so on Saturday he pouted. It didn’t work on Saturday so on Sunday he ___.” (Let audience say ‘pouted’.)
We know that this is the definition of insanity…to change nothing but to expect things to change. Nonetheless, it is a very common Bottom 80 response. Please raise your hand if you ever operated this way…changed nothing but wanted something to change.
A second response for Bottom 80s is to change what we do. This makes sense and is logical but doesn’t make any lasting positive change. So on Saturday night, Tom washed the dishes and said to his wife, ‘There, Judy, I participated. Are you happy now?’ That certainly isn’t going to make the situation any better.
(Introduce video.) Paul is going to explain the third and most dysfunctional response we made as a Bottom 80 and how we can be more effective as a Top 20.
(Introduce video.)

8. Think of a time when. you weren’t getting. the results you wanted,
Think of a time when you weren’t getting the results you wanted, but YOU didn’t change anything.

9. Top responses when not getting desired results.20
Change See: Get Curious
Ask: How can I see this differently?
Ask: Can I see this person or myself differently?
When Top 20s aren’t getting the results they want, what do they do? First, they keep the power (have X throw the ball back to you). This isn’t power to use or manipulate someone; it’s power to make a positive difference.
Then they go to the most powerful corner of the Frame. Every corner of the Frame is important, but the most powerful corner is ‘See’ because that influences all the others. So Top 20s bring their curiosity to that corner and ask questions like: ‘How can I see X differently? How can I see me differently? How can I see this situation differently?’
Curiosity is the power in each of us that allows us to see things differently or see more than we are currently seeing. There is a profession on the planet that is responsible for keeping curiosity alive. Do you know which profession that is? It is teachers; it is our profession. In fact, that is our primary job…to keep curiosity alive in children. We don’t give them curiosity. They come with it. Our job is to keep it alive.

10. Personal Application
Consider an area in your life (school or otherwise)
where you are not getting what you would like to be getting.
Now…how could you change this?
How are you seeing this?
What are you feeling?
What are you doing?
What are you getting?