1. Biblical Principles of Sex
Week 17
SEX
Biblical Principles of Sex
1 Corinthians 7:1-5

2. Biblical Counseling Basics 2012 - 2013
Faith Baptist Church of Palm Bay
Biblical Counseling Basics

3. Biblical Counseling Basics Set #3 MARCH / MAY 2013
3/27/2013 – Biblical Principles of Sex
4/3/2013 –Comparing Counsel Philosophies
4/10/ Parenting: Do not provoke Anger
4/17/2013 – … But Bring Them Up …
4/24/2013 – … In the Discipline of the Lord …
5/1/2013 – … In the Instruction of the Lord
5/8/2013 – Guilt and Repentance
5/15/2013 – Worry and Fear

4. Joke from Dr. Dan Wickert, OBGYN
Doctor: Your going to have twins. Would you like to know what sex the children will be.
Patient: No, I want to be surprised! Just tell me, “Are they the same?”
Doctor: “No”

5. Another Joke from Dr. Dan Wickert, OBGYN
Husband: Hey honey, the doctor called while you were out,
and your Pabst Beer is normal

6. Yet another Joke from Dr. Dan Wickert, OBGYN
Grand child: Grandad, your generation didn’t have all those sexual diseases, what did you wear to have safe sex?

7. Biblical Principles of Sex
Week 17
Biblical Principles of Sex
Introduction
Some words of great importance to believers need to be rescued by believers from misuse by the world.
- Church, virgin birth, born again, baptism, trinity, sovereignty, …
One of these is the word sex. - make love, love making
- Ignore it – (because they already know all they need to know)
- Often go outside, or live dissatisfied
Sex

8. 1 Corinthians 7:1-5
1 - Now concerning the things whereof ye wrote unto me: It is good for a man not to touch a woman.
2 - Nevertheless, to avoid fornication, let every man have his own wife, and let every woman have her own husband.
3 - Let the husband render unto the wife due benevolence: and likewise also the wife unto the husband.
Sex

9. 1 Corinthians 7:1-5
4 - The wife hath not power of her own body, but the husband: and likewise also the husband hath not power of his own body, but the wife.
5 - Defraud ye not one the other, except it be with consent for a time, that ye may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come together again, that Satan tempt you not for your incontinency.
Sex

10. 6 Biblical Principles of Sex I. Sex in Marriage is Pure and Holy.
Week 17
6 Biblical Principles of Sex
I. Sex in Marriage is Pure and Holy.
Created by God before sin.
Do we really BELIEVE this?
Attitudes, words, actions.
- Genesis 1:31
Sex

11. Genesis 1:31
And God saw every thing that he had made, and, behold, it was very good. And the evening and the morning were the sixth day.
Sex

12. Biblical Principles of Sex I. Sex in Marriage is Pure and Holy.
Week 17
Biblical Principles of Sex
I. Sex in Marriage is Pure and Holy.
Created by God before sin.
After sin and fall of man, God still called it good and honorable.
- Hebrews 13:4
Sex

13. Hebrews 13:4
Marriage is honourable in all, and the bed (coite) undefiled: but fornicators and adulterers God will judge.
Sex

14. Biblical Principles of Sex I. Sex in Marriage is Pure and Holy.
Week 17
Biblical Principles of Sex
I. Sex in Marriage is Pure and Holy.
Any other view is a sinful view. “Nice girls don’t do that” Dirty – Yucky – A Chore
Sexual relations in marriage are just as holy as praying, reading the Bible preparing a message, preaching. tithing, praying with someone about his soul, teaching a S.S. class
Sex

15. Biblical Principles of Sex (Marriage is not legalized sex)
Week 17
Biblical Principles of Sex
II. Sex is not Basis of marriage and marriage is not first and foremost a Physical union.
(Marriage is not legalized sex)
Jesus settled this issue with the woman at the well. - John 4:16-18
Sex

16. John 4:16-18
16 - Jesus saith unto her, Go, call thy husband, and come hither The woman answered and said, I have no husband. Jesus said unto her, Thou hast well said, I have no husband:
18 - For thou hast had five husbands; and he whom thou now hast is not thy husband: in that saidst thou truly.
Sex

17. Biblical Principles of Sex
Week 17
Biblical Principles of Sex
II. Sex is not Basis of marriage and marriage is not first and foremost a Physical union.
Jesus settled this issue with the woman at the well.
But it is very important.
- Not to participate wholeheartedly, ag-gressively, and passionately is SIN! Passiveness about sex is as bad as passiveness about evangelism, tithing, etc.
Sex

18. Biblical Principles of Sex
Week 17
Biblical Principles of Sex
II. Sex is not Basis of marriage and marriage is not first and foremost a Physical union.
Sex is very important but not the most important part.
Marriage success not based on sexual success.
Unity in marriage is more than sex.
A good marital relationship is the key to the most delightful sexual relationship.
Sex

19. Biblical Principles of Sex
Week 17
Biblical Principles of Sex
III. Primary goal of sex is giving providing
sexual satisfaction for spouse.
Taught by Paul in 1 Cor. 7:3.
This passage (6:15 to 7:5) is teaching about in sex marriage
Sex

20. 1 Corinthians 6:
15 - Know ye not that your bodies are the members of Christ? shall I then take the members of Christ, and make them the members of an harlot? God forbid.
16 - What? know ye not that he which is joined to an harlot is one body? for two, saith he, shall be one flesh But he that is joined unto the Lord is one spirit.
18 - Flee fornication. Every sin that a man doeth is without the body; but he that committeth fornication sinneth against his own body What? know ye not that your body is the temple of the Holy Ghost which is in you, which ye have of God, and ye are not your own? 20 - For ye are bought with a price: therefore glorify God in your body, and in your spirit, which are God's.
Sex

21. 1 Corinthians 7:1-5
1 - Now concerning the things whereof ye wrote unto me: It is good for a man not to touch a woman.
2 - Nevertheless, to avoid fornication, let every man have his own wife, and let every woman have her own husband.
3 - Let the husband render unto the wife due benevolence: and likewise also the wife unto the husband.
Sex

22. 1 Corinthians 7:1-5
4 - The wife hath not power of her own body, but the husband: and likewise also the husband hath not power of his own body, but the wife.
5 - Defraud ye not one the other, except it be with consent for a time, that ye may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come together again, that Satan tempt you not for your incontinency.
Sex

23. Biblical Principles of Sex
Week 17
Biblical Principles of Sex
III. Primary goal of sex is giving providing
sexual satisfaction for spouse.
Taught by Paul in 1 Cor. 7:3.
This passage (6:15 to 7:5) is teaching about in sex marriage
This is a command not encouragement
The same command is given to both husband and wife.
Each is given the duty of keeping the other sexually satisfied (obligation)
Sex

24. Biblical Principles of Sex
Week 17
Biblical Principles of Sex
III. Primary goal of sex is giving providing
sexual satisfaction for spouse.
Taught by Paul in 1 Cor. 7:3.
Taught by definition of love - giving.
- John. 3:16; Gal. 2:20; Eph. 5:25; I Cor Acts 20:35
Sex

25. John 3:16
For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life.
Sex

26. Galatians 2:20
I am crucified with Christ: nevertheless I live; yet not I, but Christ liveth in me: and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by the faith of the Son of God, who loved me, and gave himself for me.
Sex

27. Ephesians 5:25
Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it;
Sex

28. 1 Corinthians 13
4 - Charity suffereth long, and is kind; charity envieth not; charity vaunteth not itself, is not puffed up, 5 - Doth not behave itself unseemly, seeketh not her own, is not easily provoked, thinketh no evil; 6 - Rejoiceth not in iniquity, but rejoiceth in the truth; 7 - Beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things. 8 - Charity never faileth: but whether there be prophecies, they shall fail; whether there be tongues, they shall cease; whether there be knowledge, it shall vanish away.
Sex

29. Acts 20:35
35 I have shewed you all things, how that so labouring ye ought to support the weak, and to remember the words of the Lord Jesus, how he said, It is more blessed to give than to receive.
Sex

30. Biblical Principles of Sex
Week 17
Biblical Principles of Sex
III. Primary goal of sex is giving providing
sexual satisfaction for spouse.
Taught by Paul in 1 Cor. 7:3.
Taught by definition of love – giving.
This principle opposes:
Pornography (childish)
Masturbation (thirst / hunger)
Homosexuality
Pre-marital sex
Sex

31. Biblical Principles of Sex
Week 17
Biblical Principles of Sex
III. Primary goal of sex is giving providing
sexual satisfaction for spouse.
Taught by Paul in 1 Cor. 7:3.
Taught by definition of love – giving.
This principle opposes:
Goal of sexual relations is satisfying spouse
- May or may not include climax
- Not for manipulation or reward
Sex

32. Biblical Principles of Sex
Week 17
Biblical Principles of Sex
III. Primary goal of sex is giving providing
sexual satisfaction for spouse.
Sex
Problems
Physical change needed for husband to function
Society teaches it occurs from physical pleasure.
Bible teaches it comes from anticipation of giving pleasure.
Re-learn the Biblical method

33. Biblical Principles of Sex
Week 17
Biblical Principles of Sex
III. Primary goal of sex is giving providing
sexual satisfaction for spouse.
Sex
Problems
"But that is not my nature!“
- God's Word, not your nature to be the guide
"How do I know what pleases my mate?“
- Communication, listen (isn’t that selfish?) “What do you want for dinner?” Illustration
(Steak vs. Wonder Casserole)
Homework: List what pleases them. Give to spouse along with your rights!

34. Biblical Principles of Sex
Week 17
Biblical Principles of Sex
IV. God bas created both husband and wife with equal ability to satisfy each other.
1 Corinthians 7:4
Sex

35. 1 Corinthians 7:4
The wife hath not power of her own body, but the husband: and likewise also the husband hath not power of his own body, but the wife.
Sex

36. Biblical Principles of Sex
Week 17
Biblical Principles of Sex
IV. God bas created both husband and wife with equal ability to satisfy each other.
God gave the same principle to each.
Each one is to use the body to satisfy his spouse, not himself.
Sex

37. Biblical Principles of Sex
Week 17
Biblical Principles of Sex
IV. God bas created both husband and wife with equal ability to satisfy each other.
God gave each the same command, then each must have the same or equal ability to obey.
This means both husband and wife are to be aggressive in sexual relationships
Wives ask “Isn’t that taking leadership?”
Homework: Satisfy him every chance you get.
Example: Grad students wanting a baby before finished
When one spouse goes outside, must also question the other
Sex

38. Biblical Principles of Sex
Week 17
Biblical Principles of Sex
IV. God bas created both husband and wife with equal ability to satisfy each other.
Rebellion
Problems
"We have different levels or desire.” - Learned behavior can be unlearned
"But what if it’s not learned, if it’s the way we are made?” - Guideline is not a level, but God’s Word
“Oversexed” of “undersexed”
Says God made a mistake
Problem is not how you are made but willingness to obey God.
Sex

39. Biblical Principles of Sex
Week 17
Biblical Principles of Sex
V. Pleasure in sex is not sinful and forbidden but is rather assured and continuous.
Proverbs 5:18,19
Sex

40. Proverbs 5:18,19
18 - Let thy fountain be blessed: and rejoice with the wife of thy youth Let her be as the loving hind and pleasant roe; let her breasts satisfy thee at all times; and be thou ravished always with her love.
Sex

41. Biblical Principles of Sex
Week 17
Biblical Principles of Sex
V. Pleasure in sex is not sinful and forbidden but is rather assured and continuous.
Delight in the person.
“Wife“ signifies either mate in Pr. 5:18
Picture of pleasantness of your spouse.
Your BEST Friend.
Desire for her companionship as a person, more than as a sexual partner.
Sex

42. Biblical Principles of Sex
Week 17
Biblical Principles of Sex
V. Pleasure in sex is not sinful and forbidden but is rather assured and encouraged.
Delight in the person.
Delight in the sexual relationship.
"Breasts" signifies sex
The word wife teaches that real sexual delight can be found only in marriage.
“Satisfy" – thirst quenched, completely satisfied.
"Ravished" – intoxicated, overwhelmed with satisfaction
not passive, just willing to say “yes”
Who has time for that!
Mountain Jack’s!
Sex

43. Biblical Principles of Sex
Week 17
Biblical Principles of Sex
V. Pleasure in sex is not sinful and forbidden but is rather assured and encouraged.
Delight in the person.
Delight in the sexual relationship.
"Breasts" signifies sex
The word wife teaches that real sexual delight can be found only in marriage.
Satisfy" – thirst quenched, completely satisfied.
"Ravished" – intoxicated, overwhelmed with satisfaction
When put with 1 Cor. 7:3,4 each to completely satisfy the other.
- A Delightful Task
Sex

44. 1 Corinthians 7:3,4
3 - Let the husband render unto the wife due benevolence: and likewise also the wife unto the husband The wife hath not power of her own body, but the husband: and likewise also the husband hath not power of his own body, but the wife.
Sex

45. Biblical Principles of Sex VI. Sexual relations are to he continuous.
Week 17
Biblical Principles of Sex
VI. Sexual relations are to he continuous.
1 Corinthians 7:5
Sex

46. 1 Corinthians 7:5
5 - Defraud ye not one the other, except it be with consent for a time, that ye may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come together again, that Satan tempt you not for your incontinency.
Sex

47. Biblical Principles of Sex
Week 17
Biblical Principles of Sex
VI. Pleasure in sex is not sinful and forbidden but is rather assured and encouraged.
Defraud or deprive means to withhold through deceit or dishonesty.
Withhold sex from each other for selfish, dishonest reasons.
Bargaining or rewarding with sex is sinful (Husband comes to bed with aspirin)
When there is abstinence it is by mutual consent.
Sex

48. Biblical Principles of Sex
Week 17
Biblical Principles of Sex
VI. Pleasure in sex is not sinful and forbidden but is rather assured and encouraged.
Defraud or deprive means to withhold through deceit or dishonesty.
When there is abstinence it is by mutual consent.
Four Biblical Guidelines for refraining
Both agree
For a specific time
Specific goal
Terminated by sexual relations
Sex

49. Biblical Principles of Sex
Week 17
Biblical Principles of Sex
VI. Pleasure in sex is not sinful and forbidden but is rather assured and encouraged.
How often should a husband and wife have sex? (Tri-weekly?)
Enough to keep each other satisfied.
Enough to avoid temptation.
Sex

50. Biblical Principles of Sex Recommended Resources for Further Study:
Week 17
Biblical Principles of Sex
Recommended Resources for Further Study:
Dillow, & Pintus Lorraine, Intimate Issues.
Mack, Wayne. Strengthening Your Marriage.
Mack, Wayne. Homework Manual for Biblical Counseling - Vol. 2.
Mahaney, C. J. Sex, Romance, and the Glory of God
Nelson, Tommy, Book of Romance.
Smith, Bob. Biblical Principles of Sex.
Wheat, Ed. Intended for Pleasure.
Wheat, Ed & Perkins, Gloria Oakes. Love Life for Every Married Couple.
Wives

51. Questions

52. Biblical Counseling Basics Set #3 MARCH / MAY 2013
3/27/2013 – Biblical Principles of Sex
4/3/2013 –Comparing Counsel Philosophies
4/10/ Parenting: Do not provoke Anger
4/17/2013 – … But Bring Them Up …
4/24/2013 – … In the Discipline of the Lord …
5/1/2013 – … In the Instruction of the Lord
5/8/2013 – Guilt and Repentance
5/15/2013 – Worry and Fear

53. Biblical Counseling Basics 2012
Faith Baptist Church of Palm Bay
Biblical Counseling Basics 2012

54. Biblical Principles of Sex
Week 17
SEX
Biblical Principles of Sex
1 Corinthians 7:1-5