1. Non violent resistance
Julie Hamisi
15th November 2018

2. Introductions
Julie Hamisi – Family Systemic Psychotherapist working within CAMHS Nottinghamshire HealthCare Trust

3. The main principles of NVR (Haim Omer)
Taking a firm stance against violence, risk taking and anti-social behaviours
Holding back from physical or verbal violence
Increasing your positive presence in your child’s life

4. What is unique about NVR
Not behavioural but relational.
Comes from successful applications of non violence in the social domains (Ghandi, Martin Luther King).
Introduces change to the social environment (society, community, school, family, individual)
It aims to support adults in resisting violent/coercive behaviours.
It is not prescriptive but tries to find solutions in a collaborative way.

5. What is unique about NVR
Breaks some behavioural taboos, ie. Strike when the iron is cold -not deal with problems there and then.
Taboo of intruding on boundaries (entering adolescent’s space).
Borrows from other ideas (ie. Baskets and the idea of de-escalation)
Supports the adults and shift their sense of agency and control.
You are the difference

6. The anchoring function of NVR

7. The anchoring Function
‘The anchoring function can be viewed from 2 standpoints: that of parental attitudes, connections and acts that make it possible (the parent’s self anchoring) and that of the impact upon the child (the anchoring itself). The parent’s self-anchoring is manifested when they; 1. create a structural framework that allows for a protected and stable family life; 2. stay present and involved in their child’s life; 3. steady themselves through their supportive network; and 4. base their strength on self-control, persistence and endurance. Each of these gives the parents a hold, enabling them to function as an anchor for their child’ (Omer et al 2013)

8. How NVR is applied within complex systems
Violence and Aggression – think about escalation / de-escalation
Cohersive behaviours – think about parental presence
Anxiety – think about parental presence
Self-harm – think about making an announcement
Domestic Abuse – think about making a self announcement
Absconding – think about support systems

9. How NVR fits within Systemic Theory and Practice
Engagement – warming the context.
Reframing – Helping parents to separate behaviour from their child – it’s not personal.
Change the internal image of their child and themselves as parents.
Circularity – even though we may only be working with parents the child’s presence is always in the room. Who else may be in the room (those past and present)?

10. Use of ROM’s … SCORE

11. Thinking about how things are going …

12. Techniques within the sessions
Internalised other
Letter writing

13. De-escalating conflict

14. Increasing parental presence

15. Reconciliation Gestures/ Relational Gestures

16. Creating Support systems

17. Prioritising Behaviours

18. Making an announcement

19. The Sit In

20. Mindfulness

21. Listening to our Parents …

22. Past …

23. Present …

24. Future …

25. Hopes for the day …

26. A final thank you too .. Haim Omer Liz Day / Elizabeth Heissman
Peter Jacob
Helen McEleny
The parents who we have worked alongside who continue to inspire
Gary Robinson and DAFT for letting us share our passion for NVR
You all for listening … enjoy your day