1. Dating- Orthodox Perspectives
OCCM
Fr. Daniel Ebrahim

2. Unedited – please use only as a reference

3. What is dating? What Comes to Mind?

4. Fundamental Orthodox Understanding
Christ is everything !!!

5. A wise Orthodox woman (article) We put everything in the context of Christ.
One time a married woman said that, when she was dating, she was looking for someone who loved Christ more than her.
She said she found someone and now is very happily married.
Your job is to become a person whom someone else can find, someone who loves Christ more than the potential mate. Of course, that’s hard. But, aren’t good things usually hard to go after and find?

6. A guy talked to me recently about a girl if he can start talking to her …..
“become worthy”

7. So, What is Dating? Middle School definition HS definition
True definition

8. So, why do we date? We date because Christ made us that way
To grow-up into Him, to have the peace and the joy and the happiness that we all want = Slv
We date because we want to find someone to love, cherish and give our soul and body to M E (Marriage)
We date because we want to find someone who wants the same thing  Quality
We date because we are looking for love, exclusiveness, and commitment M E

9. We date because …
It is a God-given adventure, an exhilarating and sometimes terrifying risk into the unknown.
We are made that way, to be vulnerable and stretched.

10. The Purpose of Dating – Summary
To look ahead to marriage, in a very MATURE SELFLESS RELATIONSHIP
To find a person who will love our children and us in a Christ-like manner.
Hand in hand we work out our salvation in fear and trembling

11. It is a pure relationship ….

12. Guidelines for Choosing Good Friends Apply: good examples to us and others
 Have good morals (1 Cor. 15:33)
 Are modest (1 Tim. 2:9)
 Abstain from drinking alcohol (1 Pet. 4:3)
 Can bridle their tongues (Jas. 1:26)
 Are honest (Luke 8:15)
 Are law-abiding (Rom. 13:1-7)

13. Guidelines do not include***
Pretty
Cute
funny
…..
soulmate  ?? “outcome is …” (51% divorce rate)
*** these are extras … good to have but should not be the foundation

14. Other important traits
Love Sacrificially
Accept unconditionally
Trust Completely
Keep healthy boundaries
Mutual Edification

15. There are 5 principles to establishing and maintaining a Godly friendship w/boy/grl
1. Develop a serious spiritual life and regular prayer life – Having a strong relationship with God keeps us in balance and helps us to make wise and proper decisions. A close relationship with Jesus Christ helps curb our emotions and lessens our needs for others.

16. 2. Define clear boundaries between you and the other person –
Boundaries are very important when it comes to friendships.
Always make sure to maintain proper boundaries between you and the other person. This includes minimizing one on one communication in all forms, including phones, text, or face to face and one on one meetings.

17. 3. Never trust your ability for self-control
Many people say, “I can control my emotions. I can end things at any time.”
This is the biggest deception the devil has to offer is that he makes you think you are in charge, you can control any situation at hand.

18. 4. View the other person as a brother or sister
Learn how to love others as brothers and sisters by viewing the other person in the image of God
Early Christianity

19. 5. Keep busy serving and glorifying God
One of the best ways to fight off temptation is to keep your mind focused on important things. Stay busy! Never allow time for boredom or stagnation because this is when the devil takes charge. Stay busy with school, sports, church service, reading the Bible, reading spiritual books, prayer, church activities, etc… Never let your mind wander.

20. 5 deceptions The deception that I am in control
The deception that he/she needs me
The deception of good intentions
The deception that everyone is doing it
The deception of I am only human and I have needs

21. When is a good time? (for Mature orthodox dating discussed )
Later college years/ grad or afterwards
degree /school is a priority
Becoming successful matters (even to dating)
Distractions can affect your potential career path

22. If he/she really cares about you…
If he/she really cares about you…. Then, they want you to be successful and achieve your academic /professional goals …

23. Questions….