1. COW Week 5
Link Crew

2. S.M.A.R.T. Goals

3. S.M.A.R.T. Goals Specific Measurable Attainable Realistic Timely
Ask the “W” questions
Measurable
Set specific criteria. Ask the “how” questions
Attainable
Planning, timeframe, and attitude!
Realistic
You must be willing and able!
Timely
Set a date!

4. 10% Solutions

5. 10% Solutions
We’ve already discussed active listening. While this is helpful, it is not usually enough by itself.
As mentors, you must master decision-making and problem solving.
THIS DOES NOT MEAN THAT YOU:
ANSWER
GIVE ADVICE
TAKE RESPONSIBILITY FOR OTHERS’ PROBLEMS
MAKE DECISIONS FOR SOMEONE

6. 10% Solutions
Instead, you will be assisting people with possible courses of action that can make the problem at least 10% better in the coming week.
Research shows that this gives the mentee the impression that the problem is within his or her power to resolve. It provides hope!

7. 10% Solution Practice Meet Kyle
Having trouble in school (low grades and doesn’t get along with teachers)
Thinking of dropping out of school to get a job
16 years old
Thinks that he is constantly getting hassled by his stepfather
Self-conscious of having few clothes and little money

8. Kyle’s friends think… His problem(s) are:
Frequent absences from school
Missing assignments
Negative attitude about school
Kyle’s stepfather is unkind and unsupportive

9. Kyle thinks…
“How can I get a job and earn some money?”

10. The truth is... This is a complex problem.
Which parts should receive attention first?
What decisions need to be made?
Perhaps it would be helpful to create a list! With Kyle!
CREATE A LIST OF KYLE’S PROBLEMS ON YOUR BUTCHER PAPER!

11. What are his choices?
Now that the problems are identified, it is time to consider them.
USE THE MAGIC QUESTION:
“If you had a magic wand and could magically change one aspect of your situation, what would you change?”
This question focuses the mentee on the most important aspect of the problem(s).
WHAT ARE KYLE’S CHOICES? WRITE TWO OF THEM.
HOW DO YOU THINK HE WOULD ANSWER THE MAGIC QUESTION?

12. Kyle says… He wishes he didn’t have do deal with his stepfather.
With you, he considered full-time work, part-time work, and just simply staying in school.
You also talked about:
Tutoring
Studying at home
Living with other family members
Kyle hadn’t tried any of these options yet

13. What are the consequences?
What choice(s) would be better in terms of time, money, energy, or skill needed?
How will the choices affect Kyle’s life?
WHAT 2 DECISIONS COULD KYLE REALISTICALLY ACT ON THIS WEEK WHICH WOULD HAVE THE LEAST NUMBER OF NEGATIVE CONSEQUENCES?

14. Discussing consequences:
Quitting school = fewer opportunities
Looking for a job = no negative consequences
Turns out that Kyle can earn vocational credit through a job FOR school, thus killing two birds with one stone and encouraging Kyle to keep his grades up!

15. 10% Solution Four steps to problem-solving
What exactly is the problem? Ask the magic question “If you had a magic wand, what one thing would you change?”
What have you done so far?
What else could you do? (Brainstorm solutions)
What is your next step? (What is the most realistic step to work towards 10% improvement?)

16. Developmental Characteristics of Fourteen-Year Olds

17. Physical High energy, exercise, snacking Generally healthy
FEMALES: Full development nearly complete
MALES: Growth spurt continues; upper body strength development
Worry about being normal
Bodies feel awkward

18. Social/Emotional Concerned about physical attractiveness
Cram days full of activities
Adult personality is evident
Close friendships become important
Rules and limits are tested
Feel unique (No one else has ever _______ like they do)
Focus on self
Embarrassed of parents
Struggle with identity
Peer group holds high levels of influence
Resent criticism

19. Intellectual Approaching formal operational thought (not fully)
Dealing with changes over time
Hypothesizing logical consequences
Think realistically and without egocentrism
Learn best when ideas are connected to personal lives
Easily “bored”
Idealistic
Risk-takers (drinking, drugs, smoking, sex)
Want to try new things but are self-conscious
May question parents’ beliefs
Longer attention spans
Better at planning than following through

20. Developmental Characteristics of Fifteen Year Olds

21. Physical Enormous changes in weight, height, heart, lungs, muscles
Growing pains, tired, and hungry
Girls are taller and more developed than boys, though the difference is slowing
Metabolic changes causing restlessness or lethargy

22. Social/Emotional Parents interfere with independence Feel unique
Concerned with appearance
Desire privacy
Better control of impulses
Development of ideals and role models
Increased interest in opposite sex
Desire to be involved in rule-making

23. Intellectual Examination of inner experiences
Formal operational thought (abstract thinking, problem solving, future-focused)
Curious, but academia is secondary to personal/social concerns
Understanding perspectives of others
Invincibility factor
Concerned about large questions and meaning of life
Reflective and introspective