1. Odds and Ends Parenting Teenagers Relating to Your Kids as Adults
The Joys, Opportunities, and Challenges of Being a Grandparent
Working Well Together With Your Spouse as You Raise Your Kids
Going Through a Series of Fictitious Examples

2. Review – The Importance of the Marriage Relationship to the Family
We saw last time that:
The marriage relationship is the primary relationship in the family.
How well things go in your marriage has a big effect on how well things go in the rest of the family.
Therefore, if for no other reason, for the sake of your family you must work to develop and maintain a good relationship with your spouse.
In my opinion, a key element to having a good relationship with your spouse is making sure that the two of you spend regular time alone together, talking and (hopefully) enjoying one another.

3. Developing and Maintaining a Good Relationship With Your Spouse
While I believe it’s important to spend regular time alone with your spouse, keep in mind:
God will, no doubt, bless you in many ways through your spouse, but it is unrealistic to expect that your spouse can meet all of your needs – only God can do that.
With your spouse (as with your kids) it’s great to have high standards, but try to have realistic expectations.
The thing that originally attracted you to your spouse will oftentimes end up being the thing that you find most frustrating about them!
The differences between you and your spouse can be a real point of frustration, but if you handle them well they can be your greatest asset.

4. Developing and Maintaining a Good Relationship With Your Spouse
We’ve talked a lot about the value of spending time having conversations with your spouse.
Unfortunately, because we live in a fallen world, not all conversations between you and your spouse will be pleasant. Every couple is going to end up having arguments from time to time.
As with any relationship, it is important for you and your spouse to work through problems that arise between you. (Matthew 5:23)

5. Developing and Maintaining a Good Relationship With Your Spouse
It is important to not let arguments or hostilities that arise between you and your spouse continue to fester over long periods of time. Keep short accounts! (Eph. 4:26b)
It is especially important to work things out when there are children in the home:
They are going to be negatively impacted by problems between you and your spouse – even if you think you are hiding it, believe me, they will eventually sense when something is going on.
The way you and your spouse go about resolving issues between you will serve as a model for your kids – whether for good or for evil!

6. Developing and Maintaining a Good Relationship With Your Spouse
Some suggestions on working through problems with your spouse:
As much as possible, give your spouse the benefit of the doubt. (1Corinthians 13:7b, Proverbs 27:6a)
If the offense or thing that caused you pain is not a clearly sinful act or part of a sinful pattern of behavior, consider the possibility of overlooking the offense altogether. (Proverbs 11:12-13; 17:9)
Approach your spouse with gentleness and humility. (Proverbs 15:1; Galatians 6:1ff)
It is best to learn to work out problems between you, but if you reach a point where you feel unable to work things out between you, seek counsel from others. (Proverbs 19:20; 27:9; Philippians 4:1-3)

7. Similarities and Distinctions Between Husband and Wife
Up to this point, I have been addressing husbands and wives together.
And indeed the scriptures teach that many of the things that are true of husbands are true of wives and vice versa:
The husband and the wife together are made in the image of God. (Gen. 1:27)
The Christian husband and the wife have equal standing before God in Christ and are “fellow heirs” of salvation. (Gal. 3:26-29; 1Pet 3:7b)
Husbands are commanded to love their wives as Christ loved the church (Eph. 5:25) and we are told that wives need to learn to love their husbands. (Titus 2:4)
Both father and mother have authority over the children and are both to be honored by them. (Eph. 6:1-2; Col. 3:20)

8. Similarities and Distinctions Between Husband and Wife
But the scriptures spell out some very important distinctions between the husband and wife and how they function within the marriage and the family.
And we should not be surprised by this because, in order to be successful, almost any organization will require that the individuals within that organization have differing roles and responsibilities.

9. Questions to Consider
What do you think about my assertion that your spouse can’t meet all your needs – only God can?
Do you view the differences between you and your spouse as assets, liabilities, or both? Explain.
Have you found any of the advice that I have offered in resolving conflicts with your spouse to be helpful? If so, how? Are there other suggestions that you would want to add? If so, what are they?
Do you sense a pressure in our culture to make everything between husbands and wives equal in every way, otherwise it’s somehow “unfair”? Has this affected you in the way you view your relationship with your own spouse? If so, how?