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DA TALK COMMUNICATION SKILLS
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3 ways to communicate: ASSERTIVE AGGRESSIVE PASSIVE
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THE DOORMAT
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My thoughts and feelings aren't as important as others
Passive behaviour Avoid saying what you thing, feel, want or believe cos * You are afraid to risk consequences * You don’t believe in your own rights * Don’t know how to speak up for yourself Message: My thoughts and feelings aren't as important as others
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THE BULLDOG
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THE BULLDOG Bully Say what you feel, want or believe in ways that disrespect the rights of others Disregards others needs, feelings & opinions Humiliate and intimidate others Gets you what you want at a COST. No trust and mutual respect. Resentment, avoidance and opposition.
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OOZING CONFIDENCE ASSERTIVE = Express yourself effectively and stand up for your point of view, while also respecting the rights and beliefs of others
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Communication is SOCIAL COMPETENCE & RELATIONSHIPS
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4 COMMUNICATION SKILLS
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ACTIVE LISTENING Listening with your head, not just your ears
Desire to understand content and emotion of other person Not planning your response Not conveying your feelings
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ACTIVE LISTENING EYE CONTACT BODY LANGUAGE VERBAL CUES – ummm, yes
EMPATHY (versus sympathy) NON-JUDGEMENTAL SELF-AWARENESS
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“I” MESSAGES Keep focus on you
Explain your feelings in response to another’s behaviour Moves both parties to problem solving stage No blame Keep communication open Avoid judgement
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EXAMPLE You didn’t pitched for the extra Maths lessons
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Take Care!! Present 1 perspective
Congruency of verbal and non-verbal behaviours Body language Timing Facial expression Tone of voice Choice of words
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PARAPHRASING Listen first and reflect 2 parts of speakers message back: FACT and FEELING Listening between the lines Checks for accuracy
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So you’re saying that…. The problem is… You believe that…
Examples for facts So you’re saying that…. The problem is… You believe that…
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You feel that… And that made you feel… Your reaction is…
Examples for feelings You feel that… And that made you feel… Your reaction is…
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Paraphrasing is not… Sympathy Giving an opinion Analysing Questioning
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I don’t care how much you know, Until I know how much you care
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Tells other person you HEAR UNDERSTAND & CARE about his/her thoughts and feelings
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OPEN-ENDED QUESTIONS Collect info by exploring feelings, attitudes and view of situation Answers don’t end in yes, know, dunno, grunt! Used for problem-solving
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Examples How do you see the situation? What are your reasons for…?
Can you give me an example? How does this affect you? What would you like to do about that? NOT: Why did you do that?
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GROUP WORK Groups of 5 or 6 Role play (talk it) and discuss scenarios
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