1. English 21
Week 7

2. Freewrite:
Think about the one of the changes you have observed in the place or community you are writing about for our second essay.
What is your opinion of the change?
Is it a good thing? A bad thing?
Why did it happen?

3. Discuss Reading Response
“The Homecoming and Then the Hard Part”
This story is an example of an individual who has changed and their difficulty returning to a place that has not changed.
How does this relate to our prompt for Essay 2?
This reading is an example of an Alternative Prompt to for Essay 2
Instead of writing about a place or community that has changed, you can choose to write about changes within YOURSELF that make returning to a particular community or place a challenge (as in this essay)

4. Using Commas Correctly
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Grammar and Punctuation Catchup From Last Week:
Using Commas Correctly

5. When to use a Comma: (p. 592 in Pathways)
1. Before the coordinating conjunction that joins two independent clauses.
Ex. I am terrified of spiders, so I screamed when one of them got into the bathroom.
2. To separate a dependent clause from an independent clause, but ONLY when the dependent clause comes first.
Ex: When I saw the spider, I grabbed the nearest shoe.
I grabbed the nearest shoe when I saw the spider.

6. Use a comma…
3. To separate introductory words or phrases from the rest of the sentence.
 Many times, these introductory words are adverbs or adjectives.
Ex: Unfortunately, the spider was faster than I was.
(adv)
Ex: Searching carefully, I tried to find it.
(intro. Phrase)
Ex: To be sure I was ready, I went and got a can of Raid. (intro. phrase)

7. Commas and Relative Clauses
4. To separate nonrestrictive (unnecessary) relative clauses from the rest of the sentence.  
Example: My friend George, who is from Canada, is visiting me this week.
(You don't need the info between the commas for the sentence to make sense.)
 On the other hand…
Example: Students who have passed the test may move on to the next class.
No commas are needed because "who have passed the test" is essential to the meaning of the sentence. Only those students who passed are moving on.
Otherwise, the sentence would read, “Students may move on to the next class.” This means something different from what the original sentence said, and so “who have passed the test” is necessary information and should not be surrounded by commas.

8. Use a Comma… 5. To separate items in a series.
Ex: She bought a cake, some streamers, and a box of candles in preparation for the party.  
6. To separate adjectives describing the same noun. (sometimes)  
Remember our "and" test. If you can insert the word "and" between the adjectives, you need a comma.
 They live in an old, gray, ugly, dreary house. (They live in an old AND dreary house. Sounds correct.)  
She is beautiful, charming, and gracious.
She wore a little black dress. ("Little AND black dress" doesn't work. No comma.)

9. Use a Comma…
7. To separate parenthetical expressions (extra information that interrupts the flow of the sentence).
It is a good idea, I think, to get to class early.
8. To separate transition phrases from the rest of the sentence.
In conclusion, I would like to thank you for coming.

10. Commas in Dialogue
9. To separate a quotation from the rest of the sentence.
"I'm going to sleep now," she said. (Notice the comma INSIDE the quote marks.)
She said, "I'm going to sleep now."
"I'm tired," she said, "so I'm going to sleep now."

11. Use a Comma… 10. To separate dates, place names, and numbers.
September 10, 1984, is my best friend's birthday. (Notice the comma after the day AND year.)
She has lived at 314 W. Vine St., Woodland Hills, California, for many years. (Notice the comma after the address, town, AND state.)
11. To separate phrases expressing contrast.
Her hard work, not her natural talent, helped her to pass the course.

12. “Eats Shoots and Leaves”
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“Eats Shoots and Leaves”
Graphics and illustrations make great explanations on why commas, apostrophes, and other punctuation marks are so important!
Here are two books that illustrate how commas and apostrophes can change the meaning of an entire sentence.

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The Oxford Comma
A confusing book dedication:

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16. Gimme a break!

17. Discuss Problems With MySkillsLab

18. Thesis Statements for Illustration Essays
Thesis statement for this essay:
Should let your audience know what the general change you will be addressing is.
Should be making some comment or expressing some opinion or idea about that change.
A poorly written thesis statement:
“The place that I lived has changed a lot over time and now it’s really different, and I guess I don’t really like it as much now.”
How can we improve this thesis statement?

19. A Revised Thesis Example for Essay 2:
Original:
“The place that I lived has changed a lot over time and now it’s really different, and I guess I don’t really like it as much now.”
Revision:
“My parents’ hometown has attracted more chain restaurants and stores over the years, and as a result many one of a kind mom-and-pop restaurants have gone out of business, and the town feels less unique and more like everywhere else.”

20. Group Work: Groups of 3
Read and Discuss the Guidelines for Writing Thesis Statements on page
Your book mentions 6 different ways a thesis statement can be revised: keep these in mind when you write your own thesis statements.

21. Advice on Your Essay
If you are having trouble thinking of a community to write about:
Broaden your definition of "community." It doesn't have to be a physical place. It can be an online community, a faith community, etc.
Even if you think that a place is exactly the same as it was ten or twenty years ago, it's likely that others have noticed some changes.
Ask them, and incorporate what they tell you into your essay.
Try to narrow your place/community down. An entire country is too big to handle in one essay. Choose a specific part of the country you want to write about.

22. For the Rest of Class…
Get out the outline I asked you to bring to class
(it’s on the back of your Essay 2 Prompt)
Revise the thesis statement you already wrote, or come up with a new thesis statement for your essay.
Discuss your thesis statement with your group. Get suggestions for improvement, or how you might support that thesis statement.
Then brainstorm the rest of your outline with your groups. Once your have some suggestions, start work on a freewrite/draft of your essay to take home with you
Remember, we are writing illustration essays. This means that we are using interesting, detailed, vivid examples to show our main point.
PLEASE NOTE: It is not too late to change your topic if you have thought of something that might work better!

23. Next Week: Peer Review for Essay 2
Week 10 – Tuesday, October 29 In Class: Peer Review for Essay 2.
Due:
Rough Draft of Essay 2. Bring 4 typed copies to class for Peer Review and my comments.
MSL: Achieve Mastery in “Pronouns” in the “Basic Grammar” module

24. Next Week: Peer Review for Essay 2
Week 8 -  Tuesday, October 21
In Class: Peer Review for Essay 2.
Due:
Illustration Essay: Rough Draft (typed and printed, three copies for Peer Review)
If you want comments from me, you must upload a SECOND rough draft (revised based on your peer review) to Turnitin.com by Thursday at 11:59PM.