1. Write 5 different phrases to describe this picture.

2. Sharing of 2-3 phrases from the group
How can we develop them further into descriptive sentences?

3. Some linking phrases
Whilst she sat,
Gazing into the distance,
It was only then that she saw
Before this,
The road was
The weather was
She felt
After some time,

4. Circle/highlight every single punctuation mark you have used.
Swap with a partner. Check your partner’s work for any errors and correct them.

5. Three essential basics for punctuation
Comma usage
Apostrophes
Full stops

6. Incorrect paragraph
the woman sat on the case which she had carried along the desolate highway, the weather was overcast as she thought about the events of the past few hours, “dont panic” she told herself, beyond the horizon she saw a vehicle retreating in a cloud of dust, however she barely remembered the features of the man whod deposited her at the roadside after her escape from her past

7. Correct version 1
The woman sat on the case which she had carried along the desolate highway.
The weather was overcast as she thought about the events of the past few hours. “Don’t panic,” she told herself.
Beyond the horizon, she saw a vehicle retreating in a cloud of dust… However, she barely remembered the features of the man who’d deposited her at the roadside - after her escape from her past.

8. Correct version 2
The woman sat on the case (which she had carried along the desolate highway); the weather was overcast as she thought about the events of the past few hours…
“Don’t panic!” she told herself.
Beyond the horizon she saw a vehicle retreating in a cloud of dust. However, she - barely - remembered the features of the man who’d deposited her at the roadside, after her escape from her past.

9. Correct version 3
The woman sat on the case which she had carried. Along the desolate highway, the weather was overcast. As she thought about the events of the past few hours - “Don’t panic,” she told herself - beyond the horizon, she saw a vehicle retreating in a cloud of dust. However, she barely remembered the features of the “man” who’d deposited her at the roadside: after her escape from her past.

10. Version 1 of the second paragraph
...after her escape from the past.
She felt as if the world was crumbling around her: everything she had once known vanished into dust. It was only then that she saw the car turn and start to speed back towards her, kicking up dust as it accelerated in the opposite direction, causing her to stand up, unaware of the case tumbling to the ground.
Some linking phrases
Whilst she sat
The road was
Gazing into the distance,
The weather was
It was only then that she saw
She felt
Before this,
After some time,

11. Version 2 of the second paragraph
...after her escape from the past.
Whilst she sat, she pondered why he had stopped to help her. What were his motivations? What did he have to gain from it? And why had he driven away so fast, once they had started to talk about...well. She didn’t want to think about that - yet.
Some linking phrases
Whilst she sat
The road was
Gazing into the distance,
The weather was
It was only then that she saw
She felt
Before this,
After some time,

12. Produce your second paragraph
Some linking phrases
Whilst she sat
The road was
Gazing into the distance,
The weather was
It was only then that she saw
She felt
Before this,
After some time,

13. Class marking an extract together

14. And how are you going to address this in your revision?
Reflection
To ensure you get a minimum of a grade 5 in English Language: what is your priority now?
And how are you going to address this in your revision?