1. IEEE 802.21 Comments on 802.11aq PAR and 5C
Month 20xx
doc.: IEEE /xxxr0
IEEE Comments on aq PAR and 5C
XXXX, His Company

2. Month 20xx
doc.: IEEE /xxxr0
PAR- Section 5.2.b
Scope of the Project: “This amendment defines modifications to the IEEE standard, above the physical layer (PHY), …”
Comment: Does this mean it could be done higher than MAC layer? Would suggest to revise as follows:
“This amendment defines modifications to the IEEE standard, at the MAC layer, ….
XXXX, His Company

3. Month 20xx
doc.: IEEE /xxxr0
PAR- Section 5.2.b
Scope of the Project: “ .. enable delivery of pre-association service information discovery by IEEE stations (STAs).”
Comment: ‘delivery of pre-association service information discovery’ is a bit confusing. Suggest to delete the word discovery after information. In addition, will ‘pre-association service information’ be delivered securely? If not, it should clearly state it.
XXXX, His Company

4. PAR- Section 5. 4
5.4 Purpose: “This standard also offers regulatory bodies a means of standardizing access to one or more frequency bands for the purpose of local area communication”
Comment: Not clear what is to do with the regulatory bodies here? Is this requirement came from regulatory bodies?

5. Month 20xx
doc.: IEEE /xxxr0
PAR- Section 5.5
Need for the Project: “This amendment would look at basic advertising approaches for services .....”
Comment: What is “basic advertising approaches”? Need some clarity here. Would suggest to add some examples.
XXXX, His Company

6. 5C – a) Broad sets of applicability
Month 20xx
doc.: IEEE /xxxr0
5C – a) Broad sets of applicability
Broad sets of applicability: “With the growth of WLAN technology, discovery  will become an increasingly larger issue in public ….”
Comment: Not clear what type of discovery is mentioned here? Need to be a bit more explicit describing the type of discovery. The PAR mentions only discovery of services.
XXXX, His Company

7. 5C – a) Broad Sets of applicability
Month 20xx
doc.: IEEE /xxxr0
5C – a) Broad Sets of applicability
Broad sets of applicability: “A secure pre-association discovery mechanism of information related to accessible networks and services will increase the range of services and market reach of IEEE devices.” 
Comment: Again not clear what type of discovery is mentioned here? Need to be a bit more explicit describing discovery mechanism of what? For example, “discovery mechanism on information related to...”
XXXX, His Company

8. 5C – b) Multiple vendors and numerous users
Month 20xx
doc.: IEEE /xxxr0
5C – b) Multiple vendors and numerous users
Multiple vendors and numerous users: “They perceive the need to standardize a secure pre-association discovery mechanism for IEEE devices.” 
Comment: Again not clear what type of discovery is mentioned here? Need to be a bit more explicit describing discovery mechanism of what? For example, “discovery mechanism on information related to...”
XXXX, His Company

9. 5C – Technical Feasibility
Month 20xx
doc.: IEEE /xxxr0
5C – Technical Feasibility
B) Proven technology, reasonable testing: “All of the end components of the technology are in use today, although the pre-association discovery mechanism has not been developed yet. ” 
Comment: Is the above statement correct? Is it not that pre-association network discovery mechanism exist today? May be it intended to say “pre-association service discovery mechanism has not been developed yet”
XXXX, His Company