1. IEEE 802.21 MEDIA INDEPENDENT HANDOVER DCN: 21-08-0215-01-0000
Title: Editorials on D12 from Technical editors
Date Submitted: July, 14, 2008
Presented at IEEE session #27 in Denver
Authors or Source(s):
 David Cypher (NIST), Yuu-Heng Cheng (Telcordia)
Abstract: This presentation contains editorial comments for Draft 12 from the technical editors. These are recorded for your information.

2. IEEE 802.21 presentation release statements
This document has been prepared to assist the IEEE Working Group. It is offered as a basis for discussion and is not binding on the contributing individual(s) or organization(s). The material in this document is subject to change in form and content after further study. The contributor(s) reserve(s) the right to add, amend or withdraw material contained herein.
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The contributor is familiar with IEEE patent policy, as stated in Section 6 of the IEEE-SA Standards Board bylaws < and in Understanding Patent Issues During IEEE Standards Development
IEEE presentation release statements
This document has been prepared to assist the IEEE Working Group. It is offered as a basis for discussion and is not binding on the contributing individual(s) or organization(s). The material in this document is subject to change in form and content after further study. The contributor(s) reserve(s) the right to add, amend or withdraw material contained herein.
The contributor grants a free, irrevocable license to the IEEE to incorporate material contained in this contribution, and any modifications thereof, in the creation of an IEEE Standards publication; to copyright in the IEEE’s name any IEEE Standards publication even though it may include portions of this contribution; and at the IEEE’s sole discretion to permit others to reproduce in whole or in part the resulting IEEE Standards publication. The contributor also acknowledges and accepts that this contribution may be made public by IEEE
The contributor is familiar with IEEE patent policy, as outlined in Section 6.3 of the IEEE-SA Standards Board Operations Manual < and in Understanding Patent Issues During IEEE Standards Development

3. Editorials for D12 – Consistency (1of3)
i.e., and e.g., throughout
“a” and “an” preceding special names
Changed "a L2" to "an L2" (3 occurrences)
Changed "a L3" to "an L3" (2 occurrences)
Changed "a RPT" to "an RPT"
Changed "a MN" to "an MN" (3 occurrences)
Changed "a MIH" to "an MIH" (4 occurrences)
When referring to MIH messages use name followed by request, response, indication message. When referring to MIH primitives use name followed by .request, .indication, .response, or .confirm
Changed "Request message" to "request message“
Annex C
7.2.3 heading delete "primitives" for consistency with other headings with SAP name only.
Added missing "Function subclause heading for
B.1 Page 182, line 40; swap position of primitive and its name.

4. Editorials for D12 – Consistency (2of3)
Consistency (continued)
Removed spaces in the names of the parameters
Removed spaces in the name, Info Query xxx,
, page 129
, page 129
page 130
Removed spaces in the name, Link Actions List ;
Removed spaces in the name <Max Response Size>
Page 131 Line 45
Page 132 line 51
, page 106, line 65; Since Handover status is not present, remove <or Hanover Status indicates "decline">
, page 107, line 50; Since Handover status is not present, remove <or Hanover Status indicates "decline">

5. Editorials for D12 – Consistency (3of3)
Consistency (continued)
, page 64, line 48; Since this has nothing to do with the semantics of the service primitive, move text to function subclause.
7.4.11, page 93, line 3; Similar text is repeated here and in and , delete duplication and move remaining to ; thus leaving empty so that when cross-referenced there is no hanging paragraph.
7.4.12, page 93, line 56; Similar text is repeated here and in and , delete duplication and move remaining to ; thus leaving empty so that when cross-referenced there is no hanging paragraph.
Page 277, line 64 & 65; remove <access> from name
Page 261, line 62; insert <net> to agree with name (page 255, line 33)
Page 258, line 56; insert <4: general> to agree with coding (page 244 line 61)
Page 230, line 11, 17, 24; delete <s> to agree with name (page 235, line 55)

6. Editorials for D12 - Grammar
Added "the" in 5.1.7
Changed "are" to "is" in
Added period
to end of sentence in
to end of lines in various tables (Table 6, Table 7, Table 10, Table 11, Table 17, etc.)
page 54, line 30
Changed send to sends for subject verb agreement in Table 7 in page 44, line 58
Changed SAPs to SAP 7.1 page 59, line 20
Corrected subject verb agreement with "User(s) has" (multiple places)
Changed "can be" to "is" : Page 119, line 39.
Page 151 line 9
change comma to period
change which to that

7. Editorials for D12 – Cross references
Update cross references
Page 26, 5.5.5, line 48 [B21] corrected text by replacing with cross-reference
Page 185, Table B.1, line 29; I.3 changed to B.3

8. Editorials for D12 - References
Page 5, 2, line 40; Downgraded Rev2 from standard to draft
Update Rev2/D4 to D
Added to bibliography and cross-reference for IEEE 802.1AB™-2005, IEEE Standard for Local and metropolitan area networks - Station and Media Access Control Connectivity Discovery.
Updated IEEE P802.11k to standard (and reordered list appropriately), as per from Bruce Kraemer 7/5/08 announcing its publication
Reordered Normative references appropriately
Reordered Annex A – Bibliography
Page 247, line 44; Change to e-2005

9. Editorials for D12 – Other (1of2)
Removed WEP from Acronyms
Changed LIST(OCTET) to LIST(OCTET(1)) in (2); Figure F.1; Table F.2; and Table L.2
Changed OCTECT_STRING to OCTET_STRING in Figure F.1
Changed commas into () Page 130, line 64
Added periods in Table 10 (8 times); Table 17 (22);
Changed Table 23 page 154 line 25 <all the bits of this field are to be> with <this bit is>, copy paste error since there is only one bit present
Formatting turned off bold: Figure 30 and Figure 31
Page 141 Table 18
remove the following, since they are not present any more in the state diagrams: {statement1, ... statement N}; !=; >; >=; +; or -.
Replace if … then … with "(Statement1?statement2:statement3)" for describing "if statement1 then statement2 else statement3". Update the interpretation with "Conditional action. If statement1 evaluates to TRUE, then statement2 is executed. Otherwise, statement3 is executed."
Page 151, line 19; change i.e., to e.g.,, since these are examples, not the only possibilities
B.3.3, page 187, line 14, 22, 41 Remove leading period.

10. Editorials for D12 – Other (2of2)
, page 108, line 65; We could be more specific and add <n MIH_N2N_HO_Query_Resources>
, page 110, line 54; We could be more specific and add <n MIH_N2N_HO_Query_Resources>
, page 133, line 50; There is no function heading preceding this line Add "function" heading
, page 173, line 32; The use of <move toward> is not appropriate, since it implies physical movement, which may not be the case. Change <move toward> to <attach to>
Annex F, page 223, line 50. “The most significant bit of the first octets”, does it mean “The most significant bit of the first octet of any number of octets.”?