1. THE
POWER
OF FAILURE
Deborah Gilboa, MD

2. hap·pi· ness: noun good fortune; pleasure; contentment; joy
INGREDIENTS:
Confidence
Competence
Relationships
hap·pi· ness: noun

3. FAILURE OPPORTUNITIES
Where:
Academics
Social growth
Extracurriculars
Why Discomfort -> Growth
Confidence
Competence
Relationships

4. WHY DO ADULTS SAY NO? Love Fear Guilt Genuine enjoyment responsibility
Future consequences
Relationship rupture
Guilt

5. CULTURE OF “SUCCESSFUL” FAMILIES
Myth:
“Only I can fix this!”
Truth:
Failure must be experienced.

6. SOURCE: Journal of Child and Family Studies, Feb 2013

7. THE COST
“Students who reported having over-controlling parents reported significantly higher levels of depression and less satisfaction with life. Furthermore, the negative effects of helicopter parenting on college students’ well-being were largely explained by the perceived violation of students’ basic psychological needs for autonomy and competence.”

8. HOW DOES FAILURE HELP? independence → confidence Leads to competence
Builds relationship
Teaches resilience. 8

9. LEARNING CYCLE Identify Explore Set goal Notice alternatives
Select option
Implement plan
Evaluate Result

10. RESILIENCE
Mistakes
Praise
Life lessons
Choices
Risk-taking
Resources!

11. WHAT ADULTS NEED TO REMEMBER
Adult involvement supports
Safety
Growth
Learning
Adult involvement harms
Confidence
Competence
Relationships

12. PARENTS NEED “When” not “If” language Attention Empathy & validation
Shared goals
Shared Decision-making

13. Resilience requires trust.
FINDING RESILIENCE
Resilience requires trust.
“I’ll be interested to see what you do!”

14. Empathy
without intervention.

15. Questions, feedback, speaker inquiries…
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