1. Habit #5 – Seek First to Understand, Then Be Understood (Part 2)

2. Review of Poor Listening Styles
Spacing out
Pretend Listening
Selective Listening
Word Listening
Self-Centered Listening
Judging
Advising
Probing

3. Genuine Listening

4. 10 Steps to Genuine Listening

5. Step #1 of Genuine Listening
Listen to what is not said with words
- 93% of what is “said” has nothing to do with words
- pay attention to body language and tone

6. Notice the Tone & Body Language
Try saying these sentences aloud while emphasizing the underlined words. Notice the body language that occurs when the underlined word is emphasized.
I didn’t say you had an attitude problem.

7. Step #2 of Genuine Listening
Stand in their shoes
- See the situation from their perspective

8. Step #3 of Genuine Listening
Practice Mirroring
- repeating back the meaning of what was said using your own words
- don’t just focus on the words that were said
Statement: “I don’t have any friends. Everyone hates me.”
Mirroring: “It must be tough moving to a new school.”

9. “So, what you’re saying is…”
Mirroring Phrases
“So, what you’re saying is…”
“You feel that…”
“I can see that you’re feeling…”
“So, what you’re saying is…”

10. Step #4 of Genuine Listening
Make regular eye contact

11. Step #5 of Genuine Listening
Watch your body language
Turn head and body toward speaker
Don’t cross arms (open arms leads to open communication)
Lean in towards speaker

12. Step #6 of Genuine Listening
Nod your head

13. Step #7 of Genuine Listening
Do not interrupt while the speaker is speaking

14. Step #8 of Genuine Listening
Ask clarifying questions or follow-up questions when appropriate

15. Step #9 of Genuine Listening
Smile

16. Step #10 of Genuine Listening
Look interested

17. Activity Cards

18. Silent Reading
Read about genuine listening on pages in the book entitled The 7 Habits of Highly Effective Teens by Sean Covey.

19. Active Listening Practice
Choose a topic from the bottom of the “Active Listening Checklist”
Be prepared to speak for 3 minutes.
Observe group members and record active listening behaviors