1. How to write a knock-out college essay

2. Bell Ringer
List the 5 most interesting “stories” or aspects of your life—remember—sometimes the most interesting things about your life are the smallest things.

3. Let’s hear it from the people who are going to be admitting you:
“What I’m looking for is a student whose story I can see walking onto campus.”
Tuft’s College Admissions Officers on What Makes a Good Essay

4. Let’s hear it from the people who are going to be admitting you:
Write down some of the most important advice you heard about what to do and what NOT to do in your college essay

5. Let’s hear it from the people who are going to be admitting you:
“What I’m looking for is a student whose story I can see walking onto campus.”
“What I’m looking for is a student whose story I can see walking onto campus.”

6. “What I’m looking for is a student whose story I can see walking onto campus.”
You need a story that makes you stand out from others
Focus on choosing something small that may at first seem like it might not be that interesting—usually these are the things that show off our personality the most.

7. Focus on choosing something small:
“What I’m looking for is a student whose story I can see walking onto campus.”
Focus on choosing something small:
Instead of “Learning to drive, ” how about the time you got hopelessly lost in the city and how that changed you.
Instead of “winning the championship game,” how about that strange thing your coach said to you during the game that kicked everyone into gear?
Instead of taking a mission trip, how about the moment you knew a person in the village understood you for the first time.

8. 2) Should show off your personality and VOICE
“What I’m looking for is a student whose story I can see walking onto campus.”
2) Should show off your personality and VOICE
Should not read like an on-demand for school
Show off your humor, your humility, your creativity—whatever unique personality trait you have—through your word choice.
Use varied sentence structures to do this.

9. “What I’m looking for is a student whose story I can see walking onto campus.”
NOT: “Everyone has someone in their life they look up to. My mother has always been the most inspiring person in my life because she puts others before herself, has unwavering patience, and has the ability to keep going even when everything is against her.”
ZZZ

10. “What I’m looking for is a student whose story I can see walking onto campus.”
INSTEAD: “’Sleep is for the weak—and people who don’t have children.’ Winking and flicking me on the nose like she did when she wanted to show me she loved me but I was annoying her, my mother went back to stirring the chicken salad. But really, 3 a.m.? On a Monday? It wasn’t until I was chowing down on a 3-course lunch the next day and noticed all my friends with their bland, grocery-store lunchables, that I realized how lucky I was to have a mother who sacrificed her sleep, personal time, and comfort to give others a better life.”
Ask students to look at word choice and sentence structure to identify where they hear this applicant’s voice.

11. “What I’m looking for is a student whose story I can see walking onto campus.”
3) Use VIVID imagery when describing your story.
SHOW. Don’t tell.

12. “What I’m looking for is a student whose story I can see walking onto campus.”
SHOW. Don’t tell.
NOT: “I fell off the school bus the first day of high school.”
INSTEAD: “THUD. I opened my eyes and through the blur of pain and concrete dust, I saw the mud-covered school bus stairs and the belly-laughing students hovering above me.”

13. “What I’m looking for is a student whose story I can see walking onto campus.”
SHOW. Don’t tell.
On your notes, write a better sentence to SHOW the idea rather than tell it.
1) NOT: “I loved my mother.”

14. “What I’m looking for is a student whose story I can see walking onto campus.”
SHOW. Don’t tell.
On your notes, write a better sentence to SHOW the idea rather than tell it.
1) NOT: “My dog was my dad’s best friend.”

15. “What I’m looking for is a student whose story I can see walking onto campus.”
SHOW. Don’t tell.
On your notes, write a better sentence to SHOW the idea rather than tell it.
1) NOT: “I hated to cook.”

16. “What I’m looking for is a student whose story I can see walking onto campus.”
4) Don’t overshare
You are trying to make the admissions director want you. They want people who work hard, who work well with others, etc.
It is hard to write well about issues like fighting, drug addiction, mental health struggles, slacking, etc. If you are going the write about these, focus on what you learned from these things, not the incident itself.

17. “What I’m looking for is a student whose story I can see walking onto campus.”
Academic vocab word of the day: Anecdote- A brief story, often personal in nature, that demonstrates your main point.
e.g. Your main point is your love your mother, write an anecdote about the time you chose to skip a trip to Disney World with friends because your mom needed someone to take her to the airport.

18. In partners, you will read 3 brief stories.
“What I’m looking for is a student whose story I can see walking onto campus.”
In partners, you will read 3 brief stories.
All 3 stories have the same main subject, but they all use VOICE, SENTENCE STRUCTURE, and ANECDOTE differently.
Award a gold, silver, and bronze medal to the stories based on their use of these 3 elements. Then, justify your decision with evidence from the texts.

19. “What I’m looking for is a student whose story I can see walking onto campus.”
Read the sample college essay. This is a real college essay that a real admissions officer has made comments about.
After you read it, give the author comments and suggestions (both positive and negative) and explain why you would or would not admit this person. I will read you the real admissions officer comments when you are finished.

20. “What I’m looking for is a student whose story I can see walking onto campus.”
Exit Slip: Write the introduction to your college essay. Try your hand at using an ANECDOTE to start off.