1. Positive Communication: Making Our Interactions Work
Presented by:
MCPS Employee Assistance Program

2. Outcomes Learn the STARR model for communicating in a positive way
Understand the physiological impact of stress
Know effective listening and speaking skills

3. STARR Power STOP and breathe THINK through your options
ACT with positive communication
RESPECT yourself and the other person
RECHARGE take care of yourself

4. Stop
Take a Deep Breath

5. Stop Think Before You Act
Is this important ?
Are you ready to listen ?
Are you labeling the person ?
How would you feel if you were
in the other person’s shoes ?

6. Stop Think Act with Positive Communication
Active Listening Skills combine listening and talking skills so that the other person feels understood

7. Pop Quiz
Most of us are distracted about _____% of the time we think we are listening.
Right after we listen to someone, we recall about ______% of what he or she has said.
Long-term we recall ____% of what we hear.
_____ % of our communication is conveyed non-verbally.
*International Listening Association

8. Answers Most of us are distracted about _75% of the
time we think we are listening.
Right after we listen to someone, we recall about _50% of what he or she has said.
Long-term, we recall 20% of what we hear.
70% of our communication is conveyed non-verbally
*International Listening Association

9. Listening Exercise

10. Active Listening Skills
Body Language
Door Openers
Paraphrasing
Reflecting

11. “You” Messages vs “I” Messages
Why did you…?
You always or never . . .
Yes, but you . . .
It’s your fault!
How come you…?
You made me angry
I hear . . .
I feel
I want . . .
I need . . .
I don’t understand
I’m wondering about…

12. Reframing “You” Messages
You are always asking me to do extra work and it is making me fall behind.

13. Reframing “You” Messages
You complain about every little thing I do and never seem satisfied with my work.

14. Respect Yourself and the Other Person
Stop Think Act Respect
Respect Yourself and the Other Person

15. Stop Think Act Respect Recharge!

16. Biodot Color Key
More Relaxed
Less Relaxed

17. MCPS EAP Assessment, short term counseling, and referral
Confidentiality/records
Other services: workshops, crisis
response
Access point for mediation

18. Thanks for coming! For more information about the EAP, contact us at or visit our website at