1. November 2, 2017
Entry task: What is the difference between love and infatuation? Do you think infatuation can turn into love? Why?
Target: Identify differences in expectations between boys and girls

2. What is Infatuation? INFATUATION LOVE Love grows over time
Known under many circumstances
Learn all characteristics of the person
Other person centered
INFATUATION
Happens suddenly
Under one circumstance
Know only a few character traits
Self centered

3. What is Infatuation? Only for one person
Face problems and try to solve them
Physical attraction is a small part
Endures
Can wait for marriage
More than one person
Problems are glossed over
May be based only on physical attraction
Doesn’t want to wait for anything
May end suddenly
Seen as deprivation

4. Seven Predictors of a successful relationship
Dating for at least one year
Financial stability
Able to set up a household
Having full time employment for a
minimum of six months

5. Seven Predictors of a successful relationship
Personal stability
No alcohol or drug abuse
No jail record or on parole
Parental approval
Two sides- which to choose?

6. Seven Predictors of a successful relationship
Similar attitudes about birth control and children
Similar life goals, religious, and ethnic backgrounds

8. Seven Predictors of a successful relationship
Ability to communicate feelings and ideas and the ability to make mutual decisions. Able to solve problems.

9. Seven Predictors of a successful relationship
Dating for at least one year
Financial stability
Personal stability
Parental approval
Similar attitudes about birth control and children
Similar life goals, religious, and ethnic backgrounds
Ability to communicate

10. Danger signs of Improper Dating Relationships
When we value our date’s opinion more than the opinions of our parents or older, wiser friends (i.e. friends, parents, pastors, teacher you respect)
When our Personal Standards are laid aside while in the presence of our date
When we cease wanting to be with others and want to be exclusively with our date all of the time

11. Danger signs of Improper Dating Relationships, cont.
When we habitually date people much older than ourselves
When we attempt to justify the lowering of our sexual standards

12. Facts Breakups are harder on men
#1 reason for male suicides
Communication is #1 reason for divorce
Divorce rate for first marriages in America are 41%
Men and women are different
Why

13. Here’s Why
Men mask their pain, women deal with it right away and get over it.
Research indicates that men depend on romantic relationships for emotional intimacy and social support, whereas women are more likely to turn to family and female friends to satisfy those needs.
Men hate starting over to get and they miss the comfort of a loved one.
Women often take care of men

14. Key Concepts for the day!
List the differences between love and infatuation and list as many predictors of a successful relationship that you can remember.
After two minutes, share your responses with a partner and “complete” your list.

16. Prevalence of Teen Dating Violence
1 in 5 high school girls is physically or sexually hurt by a
dating partner.
Girls and Women highest rates
1 in 3 teen experience some kind of abuse in their romantic
relationships
1 in 3 teen reports knowing a friend or peer who has been hit,
punched kicked, slapped by a partner
45% of teen girls know someone who has been pressured or
forced into having sex
Teen males-as well as females- experience dating violence

17. Warning Signs Extreme Jealousy Constant put-downs
Telling the other person what to do
Explosive temper
Threats
Possessiveness
Preventing the other person from doing what he or she wants to do.
Severe mood swings
Making false accusations about the other person
History of violence
Isolating the other person from family and friends
Seeking financial control over the other person

18. What is Teen Dating Violence?
Teen dating violence is a pattern of physically, sexually, verbally, and/or emotionally abusive behavior in a dating relationship

19. What is Teen Dating Violence?
Physical Abuse
Any Intentional unwanted contact with the other person’s body. Physical abuse does not have to leave a mark or a bruise.
Examples:
Scratching Choking
Kicking Using a Weapon
Pulling Hair Biting
Pushing Burning
Shoving Strangling
Punching Slapping
Pinching

20. Sexual Abuse
Any sexual behavior that is unwanted or interferes with the other person’s right to say “no” to sexual advances.
Examples:
Unwanted kissing or touching
Date Rape
Forcing someone to go further than he or she wants to
Unwanted rough or violent sexual activity

21. Verbal/Emotional Abuse
Saying or doing something to the other person that causes the person to be afraid, have lower self-esteem, or manipulates or controls the person’s feelings or beliefs or behaviors.
Examples
Name calling and put-downs
Insulting the person or his or her family or friends
Yelling and screaming
Threatening violence or harm
Making racial slurs about the person
Making unwanted comments of a sexual nature to the person.

22. Verbal/Emotional Abuse Continued…
Embarrassing the person in front of others.
Spreading negative rumors abut the person
Preventing the person from seeing or talking to friends and family
Telling the person what to do.
Making the person feel responsible for the violence/abuse.
Stalking
Harming (or threatening harm to person’s pets.

23. Verbal/Emotional Continued…
Making the person feel guilty about leaving the relationship by talking about the abuser’s hard life and how alone and abandoned the abuser will feel if left.
Threatening to commit suicide
Threatening to expose personal information about the person (e.g., sexual orientation, immigration status)
Threatening to take away the person’s child or children.

24. Roles in Dating Violence
Abuser: A Person who physically, sexually, verbally or emotionally hurts an intimate partner.
Target: A person who is hurt physically, sexually, verbally or emotionally by an intimate partner
Bystander: A person who is aware that someone is being abused in a dating relationship. The bystander may become aware of the abuse through the abuser’s or the target’s actions or words.

25. Notes
During the video…
Write down 15 warning signs of improper dating