1. Managing Your Behaviour (Managing your Results)
EOA Conference 2010
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2. Behaviour is what you see of someone – it’s not who they are!
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3. Where behaviours come from
The first four are from our Parent Ego
One Adult Ego
And four from our Child Ego
There are 2 positive behaviours and 2 negative behaviours in each Parent and Child mode making nine behavioural modes
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4. (C) Copyright Key Talent Partners April 2010
Parent
Dominating ‘-’
Mashmallowing ‘-’
This is the term for ‘destructive control.’
We want obedience from others.
We persuade or coerce others into compliance, using warnings, threats even punishment
This is the term for ‘negative care.’
Too much or the wrong attention. We over supply help, attention and material goods.
Over indulgence is the result and recipients end up sad and angry
Nurturing ‘+’
Structuring ‘+’
This is the term for instructive control. We set appropriately firm and high expectations, providing the boundaries for others to feel secure enough to grown and learn
This is the term for responsive care. Understanding and kindness to others and ourselves.
We express a healthy non judgemental acceptance for who we are as a person.
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Adult
In Adult mode we are in tune with our own internal states as well as being sensitive and receptive to others and the environment.
Decision making and actions are based on realistic assessment of the current situation.
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Child
Spontaneous‘+’
Cooperative ‘+’
Playful attitude which let’s our creativity flow free. We feel and express what we feel freely and yet also keep an age appropriate sense of proportion. Our vitality is infectious.
Stand up for ourselves in socially acceptable ways and are willing to listen and negotiate from an I’m Ok / You’re Ok position. We get on well with others
Compliant /Resistant ‘-’
Immature ‘-’
Depending on how we have learnt in the past, we may be compliant: conform, try to please others and make concessions. Or in the resistance mode we may vary between mild obstinacy or outright aggressive rebellion.
We don’t take fully grown up view points or responsibility. We don’t enjoy sharing or taking turns and often don’t see how our actions may be effecting others. Emotional expression can often be out of proportion to the circumstance.
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7. Which of these 9 modes of Behaviours do you use with :
Teachers
Students
Peers
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8. Behaviour Breeds Behaviour
If you are using Dominating Behaviour what behaviour do you think you will (breed) get back?
If you are using Mashmallowing Behaviour what behaviour do you think you will (breed) get back?
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9. Behaviour Breeds Behaviour
If you are using Structuring Behaviour what behaviour do you think you will (breed) get back?
If you are using Nurturing Behaviour what behaviour do you think you will (breed) get back?
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10. Behaviour Breeds Behaviour
If you are using Cooperative Behaviour what behaviour do you think you will (breed) get back?
If you are Spontaneous Behaviour what behaviour do you think you will (breed) get back?
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11. Behaviour Breeds Behaviour
If you are using Compliant /Resistant Behaviour what behaviour do you think you will (breed) get back?
If you are using Immature Behaviour what behaviour do you think you will (breed) get back?
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12. If you want different results, what do you have to do?
Decide on the type of relationship that you want to have with this person
Recognise your current behaviour
Change or adapt your behaviour
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OK Corral
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