1. (OR LOVE AT FIRST SIGHT)
INTRODUCTIONS
(OR LOVE AT FIRST SIGHT)
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2. What‘s This About “Love”?
Well, maybe not love. But surely like. If you want to make a good first impression, you don’t leave the house in grimy sweatpants with your hair all greasy, right? The first impression you make on a reader calls for some planning, too.
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Think of It This Way
When you want to attract a new “someone,”
you make eye contact and say “Hello.”
you exchange pleasantries and share information.
you learn about the way each other thinks.
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Not So Different
The introduction in a timed writing essay is not so different in the way it leads into the essay.
You send out some initial positive signals.
You share some information.
You reveal the way you think.
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Open Question Example
Let’s suppose that the prompt for the Open Question reads like this: Choose a novel or play in which the protagonist must accomplish a deed that is distasteful or objectionable to him or her. Discuss what makes the deed distasteful and how the protagonist’s approach to the deed helps express one of the themes of the work.
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The Opening Sentence
The opening sentence is where you get eye contact, smile, and say something friendly.
But
Not necessarily formal.
Not something artificial, canned, or cliché.
Nothing overly cute, outrageous, or overtly attention-getting.
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7. Introductions on AP Essays
Your introductions for your three essays on the AP exam should be clean and purposeful.
Remember, you have only about 40 minutes to read and digest the prompt, brainstorm ideas, find or recall passages and scenes, organize, develop a point of view, and compose a response to the prompt.
A good introduction in these circumstances might employ only a few sentences to get the job done. You’ve got no time for more—and there’s no need.
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Clean?
Clean as in “not cluttered.” Begin your introduction with a straightforward statement.
Which of the following do you prefer?
Hamlet is a character from a play by William Shakespeare also called Hamlet who has been visited by a ghost who wants Hamlet to take revenge on him (the ghost, not Hamlet) by killing Hamlet’s uncle who has murdered him (the ghost before he was a ghost). Or
The protagonist of William Shakespeare’s play Hamlet must seek revenge for his father’s untimely death.
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Purposeful?
Think about it. Your reader has just come in from the rain or having coffee or talking with a friend. If you are going to win his or her heart (remember that part about “love”), you have a dual mission:
To be attractive (think “clean” again, not sexy or even cute)
To provide enough information so that the reader knows where you are coming from and ultimately where you are going.
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Where AM I Coming From?
You are coming from
a point of knowledge,
and you are going to a point of
perception,
judgment, and
insight.
We call that point of perception, judgment, and insight your THESIS.
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Point of Knowledge
Your command of the facts of the literary work in question is the point of knowledge.
Begin your introduction with a statement that makes evident your basic understanding of the text under consideration.
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12. Examples of Opening Sentences
The protagonist of William Shakespeare’s play Hamlet must seek revenge for his father’s untimely death.
In the passage from Jane Austen’s Pride and Prejudice, Mr. Collins proudly shows Elizabeth and Charlotte Lucas his house.
In Shakespeare’s Sonnet 29, the speaker reveals that he has often been envious of others’ possessions or accomplishments.
Be straightforward. In other words, what’s going on here? What are the circumstances? Who is doing what and why?
Provide basic information on the text under scrutiny.
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13. From Knowledge to Insight
The Introduction takes us from knowledge to insight. So let’s see that sample opening clean sentence again.
The protagonist of William Shakespeare’s play Hamlet must seek revenge for his father’s untimely death.
That sentence is a statement of fact. The statement above is the premise of the play, the idea that we take for granted once we have completed Act I of Hamlet. The statement is not an opinion or a judgment or a perception or an insight. The statement convinces the reader that the essay is grounded, based on the facts of the play.
Grounding the reader in the basics is a fine way to begin an Introduction. It’s like “Hello. My name is Hyacinth.” Not fancy, but true.
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I thought the Introduction was Supposed to be Attractive. How Attractive is Fact?
In another situation, say a 20,000 word essay to be published in a journal, the writer has time to attract with a variety of rhetorical strategies. But in a timed writing, the writer needs to get about the business of establishing the thesis and developing it quickly.
The Introduction for the AP essays is probably best if it is relatively brief and purposeful.
If you are going to spend time on one or two parts of the essay, spend it on the Thesis and the Development. Don’t agonize over that first sentence.
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15. I’ve established the basic information, what now?
Once you have briefly established basic information about the literary work, lead your reader to your perception or insight. That might take only one or two sentences.
But like any journey, the path can only be purposeful if you know where you’re going.
Where you are going is to the Thesis.
Sample Thesis: Hamlet’s inability to overcome his distaste for taking action underscores Shakespeare’s theme that accident and chance rule men’s destiny more than conscious choice.
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16. How to Make an Introduction “Purposeful”
The basic information isn’t just any old information.
Your opening sentence should contain one or more ideas relevant to the question prompt.
In our case, the word “revenge” helps pave the way to a thesis response. The opening sentence, then, both establishes basic information and also sets up an idea the writer can use to get to the thesis.
Again: The protagonist of William Shakespeare’s play Hamlet must seek revenge for his father’s untimely death.
The prompt asked us to chose a distasteful action for the protagonist. Seeking “revenge” is totally distasteful to Hamlet. So the first sentence, basic though it be, actually sets up the second sentence.
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Sentence Two
Sentence two takes us from the statement of information toward the assertion of the thesis. Like this one:
But revenge will require action on Hamlet’s part, and taking action is one thing he finds hard to do.
Sentence Two provides a bit more factual information, but it also adds some analysis to that information.
Can you identify the words in Sentence Two that analyze rather than inform?
Sentence Two uses “pivot words”—words that appear in that sentence and in one other sentence.
The word that pivots us from sentence one to sentence two is “revenge.”
And the word that is going to pivot us from sentence two to the thesis is “action.”
These pivoting words provide coherence to the paragraph.
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18. Sample Three-Sentence Introduction
So in three succinct sentences, we meet the play, learn a little more about the focus, and hear the writer’s thesis observation. This three-sentence introduction is clean and purposeful. It enables the writer to get about the job of examining the question prompt in light of the play.
The protagonist of William Shakespeare’s play Hamlet must seek revenge for his father’s untimely death. But revenge will require action on Hamlet’s part, and taking action is one thing he finds hard to do. Hamlet’s inability to overcome his distaste for taking action underscores Shakespeare’s theme that accident and chance rule men’s destiny more than conscious choice does.
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How Did We Do That Again?
We began by knowing the endpoint of the journey—the thesis. Once we had stated the thesis as a response to the question prompt, we could organize the Introduction this way:
Make a simple statement of fact relevant to the prompt.
Expand that statement of fact with an analysis of the fact as it pertains to the prompt. Use at least one word or phrase from sentence one in this sentence, and use at least one word or phrase from your thesis, too. Doing so will help make the paragraph coherent.
State the thesis.
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Another Example
Let’s use this prompt as it refers to Shakespeare’s Sonnet 29: How does the poet use literary devices to reveal the speaker’s attitude toward his beloved? And let’s decide that the sentence below will be the thesis. The melancholy tone of the speaker, his use of lists, the poem’s organization, and the speaker’s use of hyperbole show the speaker’s gratitude for the love of his friend.
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21. Three Sentences to Success
The speaker of Shakespeare’s Sonnet 29 admits that sometimes he feels he can’t win in life, no matter how hard he “troubles deaf heaven.” But even though he has found heaven to be “deaf” and even though he knows he has sometimes disgraced himself and envied others for their successes, still he realizes he has had a good friend to count on. The melancholy tone of the speaker, his use of lists and hyperbole, and the poem’s organization show the speaker’s gratitude for the love of his friend.
Activity: Identify the pivot words in Sentence Two that take the reader from the statement of information to the thesis.
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22. A Lasting First Impression
A straightforward, purposeful introduction is the best way to satisfy the demands of a timed-writing assignment.
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