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Monday: Learning intention: Improve our ability to write body paragraphs Tasks: 1. Image warm up 2. Example language analysis 2. OK, GOOD, GREAT body paragraph analysis Tuesday: Learning intention: To revise how to write an introduction with an unseen text Tasks: 1. Reading time with unseen text 2. What makes a good intro? 3. Write an intro Wednesday: Practice SAC!
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MONDAY
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Warm up: Multiple exposures: Analyzing an image COMPETITION
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Example Essay This is on the weebly! As you read: Highlight the quotes in red Highlight the connotations in green Highlighting the purpose in yellow Bold any words or phrases you want to steal After you read: What does this essay do well? What can this essay do to improve?
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This is on the Weebly, at the bottom!
Very High 5 High 4 Medium 3 Low 2 Very Low 1 Annotation /5 High quality annotation includes: CAATTII Highlighted language describing PGTs. Many persuasive devices. Some annotation includes: Most of CAATTII Some highlighted language. Some persuasive devices. Limited annotation exists. Identification of argument and language (D+C) used to persuade, including metalanguage. Identification of many examples of relevant evidence to demonstrate comprehensive understanding of language used to persuade. Identification of many examples of relevant evidence to demonstrate detailed understanding of language used to persuade. Identification of some examples of relevant evidence to demonstrate an understanding of language used to persuade. Identification of some examples of relevant evidence to demonstrate limited understanding of language used to persuade. Identification of an example of evidence to demonstrate limited understanding of language used to persuade. Very high 10-9 High 8-7 Medium 6-5 Low 4-3 Very low 2-1 Use of PGT structure, to identify the arguments in the text. /10 Use of highly sophisticated PGTs that reveals a comprehensive understanding of the arguments presented in the text. Use of sophisticated PGTs that reveal a detailed understanding of the arguments presented in the text. Use of more than one PGT that reveal an understanding of the arguments presented in the text. Use of at least one PGT that reveals a limited understanding of the arguments presented in the text. Limited understanding of the arguments presented in the text. Analysis (purpose) of the ways in which language of persuasive texts is used to position readers in particular ways. Comprehensive and complex analysis of the arguments and language presented in the texts and how they have been constructed to position the intended audience. Detailed and accurate understanding of the arguments and language presented in the texts and how they have been constructed to intended audience. Sound and clear understanding of the arguments presented in the texts and how they have been constructed to position audiences. Some understanding of the arguments and language presented in the texts showing some awareness of how they have been constructed to position audiences. Limited understanding of the arguments and language presented in the texts showing limited awareness of how they have been constructed to position audiences. Revise written work for expressiveness, fluency and coherence. Highly expressive, fluent and coherent written language that employs the skilful and accurate use of spelling, punctuation and annotation. Expressive, fluent and coherent written language that employs the appropriate and accurate use of spelling, punctuation and annotation. Generally fluent and coherent written language that employs the appropriate use of spelling, punctuation and annotation. Mostly clear written language that employs some conventions of spelling, punctuation and annotation. Written language that shows limited control of spelling, punctuation and annotation. This is on the Weebly, at the bottom!
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What is the difference between each level?
OK GOOD GREAT Pill testing will reduce deaths of young people at music festivals. Gock uses the word “trial” many times throughout her article “OPINION: Hey Groovin The Moo, Pill Testing Is A Public Good”. This suggests that pill testing has not happened yet, but people are thinking about the positives and negatives of it. This suggests that the audience is made to think that it may not happen and feel more at ease. Gock says ‘Pill testing does not promote illegal drug use. Instead, it has led to reduced drug-related hospitalisations at a number of festivals overseas.’ This suggests that pill testing will do more good than harm. She does this because many people argue that Pill testing will in fact encourage drug use. She also says that “Criminalisation is not a deterrent.” This suggests that pill testing will work better than sending people who sell and use drugs to jail. This shows an appeal to logical as she is making it clear that in the past sending people to jail hasn’t reduced how much people use drugs. Gock makes it clear that pill testing is good. Gock discusses the idea of pill testing in a pragmatic way. By continually referring to the testing as a ‘trial’ to suggest it is not set in stone yet she positions her concerned audience to think of pill testing as cautionary and feel comfort in its development. Furthermore, Gock recognises that pill testing ‘does not promote illegal drug use’, this appeal to safety reveals that it is not dangerous. This appeal to safety validates her argument that it will not harm anyone and her appeal to safety positions her audience to feel relieved that people are not in danger. Ultimately, Gock’s recognition that pill testing is the ‘only legitimate and feasible harm reduction option’ contends that there is not other option, encouraging her conservative audience that allowing pill testing is a pressing matter and feel that it is an important decision to make quickly. Gock asserts in a blunt manner that pill testing is an essential harm reducing strategy. By continually referring to the testing as a ‘trial’ to clarify the formal nature in the development of this program, her use of repetition positions her concerned audience to consider pill testing as cautionary and feel comfort in the thought and consideration being placed on this process. To further support this logical and pragmatic tone Gock recognises that pill testing ‘does not promote illegal drug use’, this appeal to safety connects to her intended audience of music festival attendees whose priority is to enjoy music and also remain safe. It champions that they will be further protected if this process is legalised. Ultimately, Gock builds on her title, ‘Health Law Research Associate’ intentionally placed at the top of the article to build her authority and positions her audience to accept her ideas more resaily as she is an expert in both health and law, the two areas at the centre of this issue. Her use of legal and health related vernacular of ‘(on contaminants, adulterants, allergies)’ when promoting pill testing as the ‘only legitimate and feasible harm reduction option’ contends that there is no other empirically proven alternatives to save the lives of the reader and their friends when they are exposed to drugs at festivals.
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Now it’s your turn! Take a paragraph from the example essay and write a OK and GREAT version of it.
GOOD GREAT
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TUESDAY
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Practice with an unseen text!
10 mins
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What’s the acronym for the intro?
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The introduction Keep it short and sweet! It should take you less than 10 mins! (You get most of your marks from the body paragraphs!
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