1. Chapter 10 Communicating in Close Relationships

2. Develop a definition of close relationships

3. Close Relationships
Endure over time, consist of interdependent partners who satisfy each other’s needs for connection and social inclusion, feel an emotional attachment to each other, are irreplaceable, and enact unique communication patterns 3

4. Various Theories of Communication Dynamics

5. Dialectics Theory
Focuses on the tensions relational partners face as a result of desiring two opposing things at once. Rejects “either-or” approaches for “both-and” 5

6. Dialectics Theory Most common relational dialectics
Autonomy and connection
Openness and protection
Novelty and predictability 6

7. Dialectics Theory Additional dialectics found in friendships
Judgment and acceptance
Affection and instrumentality
Public and private
Ideal and real 7

8. Social Exchange Theories
Rewards – Costs = Outcomes
All various forms are based on:
“Theory of Interdependence”
People stay in relations where rewards outweigh the costs. 8

9. Theory of Interdependence
Comparison levels
Person’s expectations for a given relationship
Comparison levels for alternatives
Comparing the costs and rewards of current relationship to the possibility of doing better in another relationship
Relative power position
When people believe they have a higher power status than their partner’s, they will engage in risky strategies without fearing the costs 9

10. Stage Models
Concerned with how relationships develop and how communication changes as we deepen or weaken our relational ties with another. 10

11. Stage Models: Coming Together
Initiating - when relations begin
Short-term attraction
Long-term attraction
Experimenting – people become acquainted by gathering information about one another
Small talk 11

12. Stage Models: Coming Together
Intensifying – deepening of intimacy
Integrating – partners seem to coalesce
Also called coupling
Bonding – public commitment of the relationship 12

13. Stage Models: Coming Apart
Differentiating – when partners begin to notice ways that their partners differ
Circumscribing – restraining communication behaviors so fewer topics are raised
Stagnating – the couple no longer talks much
Imagined conversation 13

14. Stage Models: Step by Step
Avoiding – partners try to stay out of the same physical environment
Terminating – ending a relationship 14

15. Improving Skills Beginning relationships Maintaining relationships
Repairing relationships

16. Communication Skills for Beginning Relationships
May Include:
Networking
Offering
Approaching
Sustaining
Affinity seeking** (important for ALL improved communication) 16

17. Communication Skills for Maintaining Relationships
Preventative maintenance
Offering assurances
Expressing openness
Reflecting positivity
Sharing tasks
Social networking 17

18. Communication Skills for Maintaining Relationships
Support
Make descriptive comments
Speak in provisional ways
Be more spontaneous
Strive for problem orientation
Provide empathy
Establish equality
Using humor 18

19. Communication Skills for Repairing Relationships
Metacommunication
Apology
Accounts – explanations for the transgression 19