1. Meeting Emotional and Independence Needs
Parenting
Meeting Emotional and Independence Needs

2. Heredity and Environment
Heredity provides the foundation for personality—temperament.
Inherited traits can be reinforced or changed by what happens to a child in life.
Environment provides the life experiences and attitudes of our personality.
Personality traits are caught, not taught.

3. Your Personality
Consists of all the things that make you a unique individual.
Many are inherited from your parents.
You developed other characteristics as you grew up.
You can acquire new characteristics for the rest of your life.

4. Heredity or Environmental?
It is often difficult to discern between heredity and environmental factors because your parents, from whom you inherited certain characteristics, are usually the ones who created your environment!

5. Is it Inherited or Acquired (Environment)?
Your potential height
Your attitudes
Your gender/sex
Your courtesy and dependability
Your physical resemblances to ancestors
Your desire to succeed
Your fears and problems
Your enthusiasm
Your manner of speech
Your ability to make decisions
Your eye color
Your initiative (doing things on your own)
Your color blindness/lack of
Your morality/values
Your physical coordination
Your honesty
Your tendency to baldness
Your ability to get along with others

6. Inherited or Acquired cont.
Your neatness
Your personal appearance
Your punctuality
Your sense of humor
Your tact
Your eating habits
Your blood type
Your self-control
Which do you think has more effect on your personality, heredity or environment? Why?

7. Self-Esteem Self-Image: the way you view yourself (self-concept)
Positive—see their strengths
Negative—see their mistakes
Self-Esteem: positive self-image leads to a positive self-esteem or having positive feelings about themselves. They enjoy who they are and what they are capable of.

8. Building Positive Self-Image and Self-Esteem
Be accepting
Correct misbehavior
Criticize the behavior, not the child
Offer praise appropriately
Too much may have a negative impact. The children may not believe you over time, they may not think what they do is so great.

9. Offer help tactfully
Commend effort, not necessarily achievement
Allow healthy risks and mistakes
Avoid comparisons
Encourage participation
Model appropriate self-esteem
Give children time, attention and respect

10. How is positive feedback important in helping children develop emotionally?

11. Emotional Needs: Affection
Children need affection to thrive. Love and affection feels good and help in all areas of growth
Failure to Thrive-unmet social/emotional needs
Parents teach a child appropriate ways to show affection.
Positive expressions: hugs, kisses, praise, kind words, kind deeds.
Empathy: the awareness of other people’s needs and feelings.

12. Emotional Needs: Fear
Positive emotion when it drives children from dangers and to protection.
Children fear new experiences because of lack of knowledge.
Positive modeling and information prevents many common fears.

13. Imaginary Fears
Active imagination—can’t tell the imaginary from the real.
Help children see the difference between imagination and reality—give them information to help eliminate fears.
Responding/Role modeling in a controlled, comforting and reassuring way helps bring security.

14. Emotional Needs: Anger
Parents influence how children learn to handle uncomfortable emotions.
What do you do when you are angry?
How do you react to anger in other people?
How do your parents act when angry?
Are there similarities between your reactions?

15. Eight Great Anger Busters
Model anger management.
Show respect.
Give them words to express their anger.
Identify with their pain.
Set positive limits.
Redirect energy bursts.
Avoid power struggles.
Provide a cooling-off period.

16. Difficult Emotions: Jealousy
In early childhood
Jealousy is over parent’s attention and wanting to spend time with the parent.
Later Childhood
Jealousy over peers who may seem to have more “things.
“Life” is not fair! Sometimes one child may get something & the other child wont.
Avoid comparisons, let them know they are loved just as they are.

17. Difficult Emotions: Stress
Growing up is hard—1st day of school, doctor appt, moving, new sibling—everything rocks your world!
Children also sense difficulties and emotions in a troubled family.

18. Difficult Emotions: Stress
Reducing Children’s Stress
Reassuring them
Talking
Listening
Spending time with them
Cut down on schedules that are overloaded!

19. Difficult Emotions: Stress
Helping Children Manage Stress
Role model stress management skills—calmness and reassurance teaches children how to manage stress.
Have children get plenty of sleep.
Talk and Listen—encourage communication, offer a distraction activity.

20. More Difficult Emotions
Separation Anxiety-
Begins around 9 mo. To 1 year
Usually passes in a few months
Negativism-
Opposition, another way toddlers express their growing independence. Usually decreases by 3rd birthday.

21. Emotions that may become problems
Anxiety— strong feelings of worry and fear
Common for most children
Extreme when it interferes with everyday life
Eating Disorders—
Most cases develop between the ages of 11 and 13. However signs of negative body image are developing in younger and younger children. About 42% of girls in first through third grade would like to be thinner, and over 80 percent of 10 year olds are afraid of being fat. Why?
Anorexia nervosa—Bulimia nervosa. What is the difference?
Depression—
What is the difference between sadness and depression? How can parents tell whether a child’s unhappiness is due to depression rather than some other cause? It is a medical problem that requires professional help. Why are some reluctant to get help?

22. Emotional Development by Age
Infants Basic Emotions:
Contentment
Joy
Sadness
Anger
Fear

23. Toddlers Preschoolers Emotions: Contentment, joy, sadness, anger, fear
See things from their own view; understand only how a situation affects them.
Preschoolers
Emotions are extreme—learning to share and take turns.

24. School-age children: Less self-centered, emotions more under control
Parents must be available to listen and must be approachable.

25. Adolescence: Known as “the second toddlerhood”
Physical changes causes mood swings
Learning to manage independence, responsibilities and new emotions.

26. Building Independence
Brainstorm a list of tasks that Preschool children/School-age children/Adolescence might be able to handle on their own.
Preschool School-age Adolescence

27. What can I do to promote my child’s independence?
Value-Guided Parenting
Family Vision and Goals
Caring Rather Than Caretaking
Setting Boundaries
Family Leadership
Honor Differences in children

28. As parents, we are to be working our way out of a job!