1. Chapter 30

2. Importance of Marriage on Personal Health
A study done in 1996 on the impact of Marital Disruption in the United States.
Overall conclusion found the social bond of marriage
Adds years to you life
Ensures your children a better education and economic livelihood

3. Also…
Decreases your risk of depression, alcohol abuse and committing suicide.
Live longer and have a lower risk of a variety of physical and psychological illnesses.
The media has glamorized the single status implying that the unmarried are unencumbered or without problems ….ha!

4. Also……
….there is no condom for the heart. In a monogamous partnership couples experience a safe harbor of a lifelong relationship. There are no dangers, no disease, having the emotional security of the marriage bond in which two people know, trust, and find comfort in each other.

5. Soooooooo What makes marriage strong

6. What Makes a Marriage Strong?
A strong marriage benefits society as well as the couple.
Society is stronger when its families are stable.
Each couple has its own way of making marriage work, but key traits like commitment usually underlie the strongest relationships.

7. Commitment
People who are proactive about maintaining their relationships have a strong marriage commitment.
They put each other first, make sure they spend enough time together, and work to overcome their problems.
marriage commitment
The desire to make a marriage work.

8. Realistic Expectations
Partners should be sure to have a realistic expectation of their spouses.
It is not productive to enter a marriage thinking that your spouse will change or that you will never argue, it only make you frustrated.
expectation
A belief about or a mental picture or the future.

9. Realistic Expectations
Real life is not like sitcoms, where they always resolve their conflict at the end of the show.
Every marriage has its own sources of frustrations and disagreements, and not every problem can be easily resolved.

10. People do not change unless they want to.
Acceptance
People do not change unless they want to.
Accept your partner’s strengths and weaknesses, and save your criticism for serious issues.
You would probably appreciate it if your partner tolerated your minor bad habits as well.
Acceptance strengthens the marriage by allowing each partner to be comfortable and know their spouses accept them as they are.

11. Flexibility
Changes may occur in a couple’s family structure, jobs, or social lives, and a couple needs to be able to adapt to any resulting changes in their relationship.
When relationship bonds are inflexible, they are more likely to be broken.

12. When people are dating, they work hard to please each other.
Thoughtfulness
When people are dating, they work hard to please each other.
Such acts of thoughtfulness tend to occur less often when people are married.
A strong relationship requires the occasional surprise to break up the everyday pattern and keep both people feeling valued.

13. The U-Shaped satisfaction curve

14. The U-Shaped Satisfaction Curve
Newlywed couples may believe that their marriage will stay fresh and exciting, but even the strongest relationships have ups and down.
Social researchers have identified a U- shaped curve that describes the typical model of general marriage happiness.
U-shaped curve
It starts at a high level, drops as time goes on, and then rises again, in a pattern that visually forms the letter U.

15. The U-Shaped Satisfaction Curve
Marriage begins high in satisfaction.
In couples with children, marital satisfaction tends to decrease with the birth of children, when time and money are stretched thin.
Satisfaction hits its lowest as children first enter school and then later become teenagers.
It begins to climb again as children leave the home, affording couples more time to examine their relationship.

16. The U-Shaped Satisfaction Curve
Marital Satisfaction
Birth of children
Couples examine their relationship
Children enter school
Children leave the home
Children become teenagers

17. DONE!

18. A little background……
The family has been radically altered---or almost destroyed by the events of the last three decades.
We have no idea of what family relationships ought to be like.
Of all problems facing America, the decline of marriage and the breakup of the family is the most pressing problem as it impacts everyone.

19. What caused this?
“The Flapper” –new woman, unrestrained drinking smoking cussing and revealing more of her legs, less covering blouses and short-cropped hair.
The “Date” --taking the courting relationship away from the supervision in the home.
Publications and articles disguised as “art and literature.
The sexual revolution which affected the well being of individuals and the health of our culture.

20. Resulting in……
Until the early 1980’s there were only five classical venereal infections, and until 1972, most of the emphasis was placed on controlling syphilis….now there are more than fifty different organisms and syndromes that are spread through sexual activity.
So really, there is no “safe sex”
This revolution hasn’t helped us individually and it hasn’t helped our families.