1. Essay Errors to Avoid C1 C2 C4 U2

2. C1: Thesis Thesis missing
Thesis ambiguous, too general, too long or wordy
Thesis doesn’t follow the “formula.”
Subject, opinion, and three points supporting the opinion
Thesis is not the last sentence in the introductory paragraph

3. C1 MISSING THESIS
Making an impact on one’s community is important. It shows character. It is important. People respect you. If you don’t help your community, you are a loser.
MISSING THESIS: Where is the thesis? Is it the last sentence of the paragraph?
Will the writer be talking about being a loser?

4. C1: Thesis missing part of the formula
Making an impact on one’s community is important. It shows character. It is important. People respect you. Making an impact on one’s community is important.
A thesis needs an subject (what you will be talking about; the topic)
An opinion (judgment about the subject)
Three points outlining your opinion
This thesis has a subject (Making an impact on one’s community) opinion (Making an impact on one’s community is important.
It’s subject is ambiguous or confusing (what kind of impact/)
It’s missing an opinion and three points.
Correction: Making a positive impact on one’s community is important because it show’s character, strengthens the society, creates a spirit of cooperation.

5. C1: Thesis is not the last sentence in the introductory paragraph
Original Introductory Paragraph
Making an impact on one’s community is important. Making a positive impact on one’s community is important because it show’s character, strengthens the society, creates a spirit of cooperation. It shows character. It is important. People respect you. If you don’t help your community, you are a loser.
Correction
Making an impact on one’s community is important. It shows character. It is important. People respect you. If you don’t help your community, you are a loser. Making a positive impact on one’s community is important because it show’s character, strengthens the society, creates a spirit of cooperation.

6. C2: Hook in the Introduction
Lack of an engaging hook
Not relating your hook to your topic in your introduction

7. C2: Lack of engaging hook
Making an impact on one’s community is important. It shows character. It is important. People respect you. If you don’t help your community, you are a loser. Making a positive impact on one’s community is important because it show’s character, strengthens the society, creates a spirit of cooperation.
Boring and just a statement to get going.
Hooks create interest for the audience to continue reading
Several techniques (question, quote, anecdote etc. )
Examples: How does a community begin to die? Anthony D’Angelo once said, “Without a sense of caring, there can be no community” Once there was a small village. Everyone use to help one another both in good times and bad times. Then the internet became available and the young people became so involved in a virtual community that the village became neglected. No one helped the elderly sweep snow. No one applied for jobs. No one wanted to visit the sick. No one did anything until one day there was nothing left except empty classrooms, empty storefronts, and empty streets. The community had died.

8. C2 Hook Correction
Once there was a small village. Everyone use to help one another both in good times and bad times. Then the internet became available and the young people became so involved in a virtual community that the village became neglected. No one helped the elderly sweep snow. No one applied for jobs. No one wanted to visit the sick. No one did anything until one day there was nothing left except empty classrooms, empty storefronts, and empty streets. The community had died. Making an impact on one’s community is important. It shows character. It is important. People respect you. If you don’t help your community, you are a loser. Making a positive impact on one’s community is important because it show’s character, strengthens the society, creates a spirit of cooperation.

9. C4: LACK OF BACKGROUND INFORMATION
Lack of background information for your topic and thesis in the introductory paragraph
Once there was a small village. Everyone use to help one another both in good times and bad times. Then the internet became available and the young people became so involved in a virtual community that the village became neglected. No one helped the elderly sweep snow. No one applied for jobs. No one wanted to visit the sick. No one did anything until one day there was nothing left except empty classrooms, empty storefronts, and empty streets. The community had died. Making an impact on one’s community is important. It shows character. It is important. People respect you. If you don’t help your community, you are a loser. Making a positive impact on one’s community is important because it show’s character, strengthens the society, creates a spirit of cooperation.

10. C4 Correction of Background Information
Once there was a small village. Everyone use to help one another both in good times and bad times. Then the internet became available and the young people became so involved in a virtual community that the village became neglected. No one helped the elderly sweep snow. No one applied for jobs. No one wanted to visit the sick. No one did anything until one day there was nothing left except empty classrooms, empty storefronts, and empty streets. The community had died. Making an impact on one’s community is important. If the youth had shown integrity and helped instead of being mesmerized by cat videos on YouTube perhaps the vigor of the town would have strengthened the society and created a sense of cooperation. Making a positive impact on one’s community is important because it show’s character, strengthens the society, creates a spirit of cooperation.

11. U: USAGE ESSAY ERRORS. U2: WORD CHOICE
Word choice needs to be more descriptive and to the point. Learning new vocabulary words help streamline the essay from many words to one word to describe your thoughts. Example: I want to make my writing more to the point and less word. I want to make my writing more succinct.
Slang is very informal language or words used by a particular group of people. You’ll usually hear slang spoken more often than you’ll see it in writing, though s and texts often contain many conversational slang terms. Examples: sweet, tight, cool, awesome,
Clichés are phrases or opinions that is overused and betrays a lack of original thought. Examples: Opposites attract; Every cloud has a silver lining; Don’t cry over spilt milk; The calm before the storm; Laughter is the best medicine
Over-inflated words are words that don’t match the voice of the writer. Trying to sound like a professor when one is actually a high schooler. Example: The proximity of the cumulus clouds advanced on the automobile at an expansive rate. Instead: The closeness of the thunderheads were expanding on the car quickly.
Too simple words are using common words when more advanced ones say it more succinctly. Example: The dinner was great. The dinner was appetizing.
Repetition is using the same words over and over within the essay or paragraph. Example: When I saw the menu, I immediately looked at the appetizers. The dinner was appetizing.. After I finished, my appetite was satisfied.
Redundancy is saying the same idea over and over again. It is similar to repetition but instead of a single word it is an idea. It is usually found in the commentary. Example: Being helpful shows you care . When you help someone out, it shows that you care and want to benefit the community which is very helpful. Being helpful is a way to show the community how much character you have and that you care.
Incorrect word choice for the concept is misinterpreting what an idea or concept actually mean. It is usually committed by over-using a thesaurus. Example: Being helpful shows precision and maintenance for the cooperative spirit.

12. Correcting the Word Choice in the Introductory Paragraph
Making an impact on one’s community is important. Making a positive impact on one’s community is important because it show’s character, strengthens the society, creates a spirit of cooperation. It shows character. It is important. People respect you. If you don’t help your community, you are a loser.
Making an impact on one’s community is vital. This impression generates a constructive effect for one’s community that is central because it displays character, strengthens the society, and creates a spirit of cooperation. By honoring others within the area, one builds a sense of value and worth which will help form civic respect within the town.