1. Parenting Styles & Their Effects on Children Child Studies 11

2. Parenting Styles and Effects
Thought:
We know the way children are parented when they are young, influences the type of people they become. How? Why?
A Kentucky father of a teenage boy says his hardest job is getting his son to realize that “no” is a complete sentence.

3. Types of Parenting Styles and Their Effects on Children
Most parents can be classified into four main types by the style in which they guide their children. As we discuss each, think about where your own parents fit most appropriately. Do each of your parents use the same style? Has their parenting had the effects suggested?

4. Authoritarian: high firmness-low warmth
sometimes referred to as the military parenting style.
This parenting style puts an emphasis on obedience, and usually has very strict family rules.
An authoritarian parent is usually more concerned about the child doing what they say, and focuses less on the opinion or desires of the child.
Some strictly authoritarian parents see children as lesser people than adults.  Children should be seen and not heard.

5. Effects of Authoritarian Style on Children
Children from authoritarian families can be very achievement oriented. 
They may be very successful students and very well behaved.
However this is often at the expense of their sense of self, independence and creativity. 
It tends to encourage children to either rebel, especially in the teenage years, or to be overly submissive. 
As adults, they may find themselves in relationships with others who are controlling or they become the one who tries to control others.

6. Permissive: Low Firmness-High warmth
The permissive parenting style is noted for the parents’ tendency to want to protect their children from negative experiences. 
They provide a very warm supportive environment, but with limited structure and discipline. 
They may set limits, but not follow through with consequences. 
They may say “no” but ultimately give in when the child persists. 
They may ask their children what the family should do rather than making decisions as parents. 

7. Effects of Permissive Style on Children
“Spoiled,” “A little negotiator,” “She’s going to grow up to be lawyer,” “He constantly needs me to entertain him.”  These are some of the ways permissive parents end up describing their children. 
Children from permissive parenting homes tend to be self centered and attention seeking. 
They may be bossy, controlling, demanding. 
Just as problematic, they are likely to be poorly prepared for disappointments life inevitably hands everyone.  Thus as they grow older they are at higher risk for depression, chemical abuse, and lack of independence. 
On the upside, having grown up in a generous household, they may be very generous adults.  However, they may expect others to be just as generous and become frustrated when this is not the case.  

8. Democratic: High firmness-high warmth
The democratic parenting style is considered to be the healthiest and most balanced approach to parenting.
Democratic parents set limits while considering the child’s point of view. 
They enforce consequences with respect and without being overly harsh. 
They listen to their children, empathize, and help them come up with their own solutions to problems. 
Democratic parents create balance between authoritarian and permissive parenting styles. For example, there are times when a parent needs to have their child obey them, regardless how they feel about it, and there are also times when a parent needs to allow their child to make mistakes and take chances without their interference.

9. Effects of Democratic Style on Children
Children from democratic households are most likely to grow into emotionally healthy adults. 
They tend to be warm and empathetic, but also have a sense of confidence and independence. 
They are not afraid to pursue their personal goals nor to set appropriate boundaries with others. 

10. Rejecting/Neglectful low firmness, low warmth
rejecting/neglecting parents tend to provide little guidance, support, or structure. 
Some of these parents may be unable to engage their children for any number of reasons. 
Some of these parents are simply more focused on their own wants than the needs of their children.

11. Effects of Rejecting/Neglectful Style on Children
children from these types of parents are often at risk for significant discipline problems. 
They lack external structure and thus often lack internal sense of discipline. 
Similarly they lack external expressions of love and warmth and thus seek it from whatever sources they can. 
These kids “miss out on childhood” and are likely to continue to have difficulty establishing healthy relationships into adulthood. 

12. Good parenting foster a child's self-esteem:
Provide more successes than failures for the child.
Give lots of encouragement.
Give them freedom to fail with acceptance.
Allow independence.
Give unconditional love.
Do not set standards unreasonably high.
Avoid ridicule.

13. More ways to foster a child's self-esteem:
Be available.
Be a good role model.
Give your children responsibility
Help your child develop talents
Take their ideas, emotions and feelings seriously.
Set Limits
Allow exploration and encourage questions.

14. In Conclusion…
One of the most important things to remember as a parent is to be yourself. You can only use those methods with which you feel comfortable. A child can spot a fake a mile away. Children know if you mean what you say or if it is just another threat. Select the methods that you believe in, that you feel comfortable with, and then be consistent.