1. 7 Ways to Improve Your Original Composition

2. 1. Start and end strong
Start with a sentence that is interesting and will hook your reader
Connecting your last sentence to your beginning will tie your story together

3. Examples
Use Brooke’s example

4. 1. Start and end strong Look at your first sentence?
Is it interesting?
Does it make the reader want to keep reading?
Look at your last sentence?
Does it provide closure to your story?
Does it connect to your beginning?

5. 2. Focus on a shorter time period
The shorter the time frame, the easier it is to be descriptive
The simpler the story, the better.
Ex. Story about a car crash and recovery
Focus on the crash – not before and after
What it looked like? Smelt like? Sounded like?
What did it feel like? Pain? Emotions?
Who else was there? Others affected?
Describe the scene.

6. 2. Focus on a shorter time period
How could you change the time period of your story?
What would you focus on?

7. 3. Try to avoid the obvious
Chosen topic: high school graduation
Write a story about the one student who didn’t graduate
Describe them sitting in the audience, experiencing graduation.
What does that look like?
Feel like?
How does this impact that person?

8. 3. Try to avoid the obvious
Chosen topic: a hockey team and a big game
Write a story about being the player who missed the final shot
Describe what that player felt as he/she went through that last moment of the game?
What does that look like?
Feel like?
How does this impact that person?

9. 3. Try to avoid the obvious
Can you change your story so it’s not the typical response?

10. 4. Use figurative language
Similes
Metaphors
Personification
Hyperbole
Avoid cliché examples of figurative language.
Ex. She ran like the wind.

11. 4. Use figurative language
Find one place in your story where you could use figurative language to describe something.
Choose which figurative device you will use and write an example.

12. 5. Use sentence openers
Use sentence openers to create variety in your sentences.
Try to avoid starting sentences with a subject.

13. 5. Use sentence openers
Box the first word in each sentence of your OC.
Do you notice any patterns?
How can you add variety to your sentences?

14. 6. Use strong diction Use strong, powerful diction to create an image.
The examiner is looking for grade 12 vocabulary.

15. 6. Use strong diction
Circle 5 words in your OC which could be improved.

16. 7. Show vs. tell
A ‘telling’ statement gives information, but in a dull and lifeless manner.
It leaves out the action, emotion, and sensory detail – all the vital ingredients that make the reader believe in the story.
‘Showing’ dramatizes the events of a plot.
The reader experiences the story as if he/she’s right there. The reader can see what is happening.

17. 7. Show vs. tell Telling: Jack was afraid.
Showing: As the footsteps tapped closer and closer, Jack felt his stomach muscles tighten. He flattened himself to the wall, the bricks gritty against his cheek. Sweat chilled his palms. He used both hands to steady the gun.

18. 7. Show vs. tell Telling: Dave thought Brenda was acting secretive.
Showing: Brenda slammed his dresser drawer shut and spun around, her hands hidden behind her back. Her lips jerked into a stiff smile. "Dave! I-I thought you wouldn't be home until six o'clock."

19. 7. Show vs. tell
i) Use all the senses, such as sight, smell, sound, taste, and texture to describe the scene.
ii) Use vivid power words that help the reader see what you see. Eg. Instead of “Mary messily wrote her name”, try “Mary scribbled her name.”

20. 7. Show vs. tell
iii). Tend to use active verbs rather than passive or helping verbs (am, is, are, was, were, have, had, has, be, being, been, do, does, did, will, would, should, may, might, must, can, could, etc.).
Passive Voice: The car was speeding down the road.  Active Voice: The car raced down the road.

21. 7. Show vs. tell
Passive: The report was read by Karen. Active: Karen read the report.
Passive: The crash was witnessed by a pedestrian. Active: A pedestrian witnessed the crash.

22. 7. Show vs. tell
iv) Add scenes that show conflict, or focus on how a character is dealing with a situation.
Physical action, facial expressions and dialogue show what is happening.
v) Use figurative language, such as similes and metaphors.
Eg. “Prim’s face is as fresh as a raindrop, as lovely as the primrose for which she was named.”

23. Practicing Showing
Choose one of the telling examples and re-write it to create a showing scene.
Complete this on a separate piece of paper.