1. Revising Topic Sentences

2. Topic sentence should include….
The main point/ reason of the body paragraph (the topic)
A position/ perspective on that topic
A clear link back to the thesis statement.

3. Sample thesis statement:
Leaving his criminal ways behind him, Socrates shows his heroic nature when he thinks deeply and philosophically about the choices he makes, exhibits good intentions even in confrontations, and strives to improve his life.
What is the main position?
What will each body paragraph be about?

4. Sample thesis statement:
Leaving his criminal ways behind him, Socrates shows his heroic nature when he thinks deeply and philosophically about the choices he makes, exhibits good intentions even in confrontations, and strives to improve his life.
Socrates also shows he is thoughtful when he takes Darryl to Marvane street and applies for a job.
Problem: Doesn’t connect to the thesis.
Socrates’ thoughtful nature when he takes Darryl to Marvane Street and applies for a job also show how he’s become a role model.

5. Sample thesis statement:
Leaving his criminal ways behind him, Socrates shows his heroic nature when he thinks deeply and philosophically about the choices he makes, exhibits good intentions even in confrontations, and strives to improve his life.
Socrates confronted Ralphie and Howard.
Problem: No point of view
Although it he seemed like a bully, Socrates actions with Ralphie and Howard actually shows how much he cares for his neighbors.

6. Sample thesis statement:
Leaving his criminal ways behind him, Socrates shows his heroic nature when he thinks deeply and philosophically about the choices he makes, exhibits good intentions even in confrontations, and strives to improve his life.
Even though he may still have some criminal tendencies, Socrates has made many attempts to improve his life and make up for his crimes.
Outline this paragraph. What details should come 1st? Last?