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Listening and Interpersonal Communication
Valdosta State University
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This booklet belongs to:
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Communication Style Assessment
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Communication Styles People – High Social; High Dominance
Ideas – Low Social; Low Dominance Process – High Social; Low Dominance Action – Low Social; High Dominance
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Communication Styles Factors
Dominance - reflects the tendency to influence others in a relationship. Sociability - reflects the amount of control one exerts over emotional expressiveness. People who are high in “sociability” express their feelings freely, while people who are low in sociability tend to control their feelings.
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Communication Styles Action They talk about They are seen as Results
Objectives Feedback Productivity Achievements Change Decisions Pragmatic Direct Impatient Decisive Energetic Challenging of Others
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Connecting with Others
Action Focus on results first State best recommendation (not alternatives) Be as brief as possible Emphasize practicality of your ideas Use visual aids if possible Be well organized Ask specific questions
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Communication Styles Process They talk about They are seen as Facts
Procedures Analysis Planning Observation Organizing Proof Details Testing Systematic Logical Factual Verbose Unemotional Cautious Patient
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Connecting with Others
Process Be precise; state the facts Organize communication in logical order Include alternatives with pros and cons Don’t rush for a response or decision Don’t place undue pressure Be timely and respectful of time Limit levels of emotion
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Communication Styles People They talk about They are seen as People
Self-Development Understanding Expectations Motivation Awareness Teamwork Cooperation Values Spontaneous Empathetic Warm Subjective Emotional Perceptive Sensitive
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Connecting with Others
People Spend time to build relationships Allow some time for small talk Demonstrate how things have worked in past Discuss support from respected people Listen carefully for expressions, feelings, emotions Be patient
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Communication Styles Ideas They talk about They are seen as Concepts
What’s New Creativity Opportunities Possibilities Designs Problems Potential Alternatives Imaginative Charismatic Difficult to Understand Ego-centered Unrealistic Creative Full of Ideas Provocative
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Connecting with Others
Ideas Allow time for discussions Remain patient if they go on tangents Express your ideas in a conceptual way Express uniqueness and future impact Be enthusiastic and not to formal Show as much support as possible Be prepared to listen
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Communication Style Bias
Communication-style bias is a state of mind experienced when we have contact with another person whose communication style is different from our own.
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Being Self-Aware Actions – Be careful not to be too demanding or too pushy. Admit when you are wrong and constantly compete with others. Try to relate better with others. Process – Be careful not to be overly cautious and inflexible. Don’t be so guarded and reserved, and be open to other’s ideas. Don’t be afraid to show some emotion and show you are not always perfect.
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Being Self-Aware People – Be careful not to try to please everybody or be wishy-washy in your decision making. Try to be a bit more assertive and relay on self-assurance. Ideas – Be careful not to be too excitable and strong-willed. Try not to step on other’s toes and look to be more flexible.
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Definition of Communication
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Communication Model Sender/Encoder Receiver/Decoder Message Feedback
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Definition of Communication
The exchanging of thoughts, feelings, and ideas from a person to others. UNDERSTANDING
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Golden Rule True or False: Treat those you communicate with as you wish to be treated? FALSE Be prepared and open to adjust to the other person; pay attention to how they are communicating.
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Effective Process The message must be clear
The receiver must be paying attention (to all aspects of the message) The sender must be credible The receiver must be willing and able to act
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Designing for the Receiver
What does the receiver need to know about the topic What does the receiver want to know What will excite his/her self-interest What is the benefit to the receiver
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Barriers of Communication
Lack of clarity about the message Improper audience analysis Improper communication method Failure to ask for feedback Incorrect interpretation of feedback Biases Conflicting verbal/non-verbal delivery
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What Are You Trying to Say
I didn’t say he stole the money.
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What Are You Trying to Say
Woman without her man is lost. Woman, without her man, is lost. Woman, without her, man is lost.
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More Than Words Can Say 70% 7% 23% 14% 86%
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Nonverbal and Vocal Cues
Body Language Posture Facial Expression Eye Contact Gestures Proxemics Appearance Office Desk Tone of Voice Intonation Pitch Volume When non-verbal and verbal cues are not in synch, the non-verbal carries much more weight.
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Do you hear what I hear???
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Hear This About Listening
70 percent of a typical day spent communicating 9 percent writing 16 percent reading 30 percent talking 45 percent listening 75 percent of oral communication is ignored, misunderstood, or forgotten Most only listen 1/2 to 2/3 of the time People listen at wpm; speak at 140 wpm
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Levels of Listening Level 5 Empathetic Listening Level 4
Ignoring Level 2 Pretend Listening Level 3 Selective Listening Level 4 Attentive Listening Level 5 Empathetic Listening
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Establish a Respectful Relationship
First act: LISTEN L = Let Others Speak I = Intend to ‘Hear” Them S = Speak When It Is Your Turn T = Talk With Them, Not At Them E = Enthusiastically Respond N = Never Speak When Others Are Talking What is Active Listening?
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Listening with a purpose!!
Active Listening STOP TALKING Give the speak your full attention Use appropriate non-verbal cues Be patient Listen for what is not being said Respond effectively Avoid conflict and misunderstanding Show respect Consider motivation Overcome listening barriers Learn from your encounter Listening with a purpose!!
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Communication Model Sender/Encoder Receiver/Decoder Message Feedback
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Barriers to Listening Pre-judging Preoccupied Distracted
Emotional state Have the answer Lack of understanding Literacy level Cultural differences
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Break Through the Barriers
Focus on what the speaker is saying Acknowledge what has been said Ask questions to clarify Put yourself in the speaker’s shoes Pay attention to body language Resist the urge to interrupt and give advice Know your “hot buttons”
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