1. Peer Mediation Training

2. Gibsonburg Exempted Village School District
Conflict Mediation Program
Working It Out Together

3. WHAT YOU CAN EXPECT IN TRAINING:
1. To learn that each conflict offers a chance to learn and grow when a “win-win” resolution is found.
2. To learn and practice the six stages of conflict mediation.
3. Facilitators who give their best effort.

4. WHAT FACILITATORS EXPECT FROM YOU:
1. Willingness to learn and pay attention.
2. Agreement to practice non-violent conflict resolution in your own life.
3. Follow the model of conflict mediation presented to you.

5. AS A MEDIATOR, YOU WILL:
Help students peacefully find solutions to their conflict.
Be a good school citizen who can solve problems without violence.
Be an honest, trustworthy, respectful, and responsible, person.
Show fairness and caring in mediation by not taking sides and showing appreciation to others.
Act responsible in mediation by working hard and listening well.
Maintain confidentiality about what happens in mediation sessions.

6. WHAT MEDIATORS DO NOT DO:
Mediators do not solve problems for other students. Students with problems are responsible for their own problems and solutions.
Keep secret information about a person who intends to harm themselves or others.
Mediators do not act as police officers. If a physical conflict occurs, mediators get involved only by getting help from an adult and following approved safety procedures.

7. TALE OF TWO DONKEYS
                              

8. My wife and my mother-in-law
PERCEPTIONS
                                                          
My wife and my mother-in-law

9. A photographic version of the old hag or young woman image
                                 
A photographic version of the old hag or young woman image

10.                                                                                                   
A vase or head to head?

11. Can you see a dog in this jumble?
                                                                           
Can you see a dog in this jumble?

12. What is this? A beggar or a face?
                                             
What is this? A beggar or a face?

13. A male representation of the old hag / young woman
                                  
A male representation of the old hag / young woman

14.                                                     
An Indian or an Eskimo?

15.                                                                                                     
Duck or Rabbit?

16. How many people can you see in this picture?
                                                            
How many people can you see in this picture?

17. What do you see here ? A donkey or a seal ?
                                                        
What do you see here ? A donkey or a seal ?

18. Do you see an old man or a kissing couple ?
                                       
Do you see an old man or a kissing couple ?

19. Can you see the three hidden faces?
                                                         
Can you see the three hidden faces?

20.                                                                  
One face or two ?

21. Saxophone player or a woman's face ?
                                                    
Saxophone player or a woman's face ?

22. COMMUNICATION IS:
What you say (15%)
&
How you say it! (85%)

23. Rules For Being A Good Listener
Listen as if you were in the other person’s place. This will help you better understand what the person is saying and how he/she feels.
Show you understand and care with verbal and nonverbal behavior
Tone of voice
Facial expressions
Gestures
Eye contact
posture

24. More Rules For Being A Good Listener
Restate the person’s most important thoughts and feelings
Do not interrupt, offer advice or give suggestions. Do not begin to talk about problems you have or bring up similar experiences of your own.

25. Non-Verbal Listening Skills
stands for “Ready” and “Relaxed”.
Good listeners clear their mind of almost everything except what the speaker is saying
stands for “Open”. An “open” stance means looking like you are open to hearing what is said.
stands for “Lean Forward”. To show your interest in what another person is saying, lean forward a little. Shows that you care.
stands for “Eye Contact”. Eye contact shows a person that he/she is important.
stands for “Square”. When sitting or standing to a person speaking with you, keep your shoulders and the rest of your body squarely facing the speaker.
R O L E S

26. Active Listening Techniques
STATEMENT TYPES
PURPOSE
TO DO THIS
EXAMPLES
Encouraging
To convey interest
To encourage the other person to keep talking.
Don’t agree or disagree.
Use Neutral words.
Use varying voice intonations
“Can you tell me more?”
“I wonder if…”
“Please continue…”
Clarifying
To help you clarify what is said.
To get more information.
To help speaker see other points of view.
Ask questions
Restate wrong interpretation to encourage speaker to explain further.
“When did this happen?”
“What I hear you saying…”
“What did the other person say?”

27. STATEMENT TYPE
PURPOSE
TO DO THIS
EXAMPLES
Restating
Shows you are listening and understanding.
To check your meaning and interpretation
- Restate basic ideas, facts.
“So, you would like your parents to trust you more, Is that right?”
“Could this be what’s going on, you…”
Reflecting
To show that you understand how the person feels.
To help the person evaluate his/her own feelings after hearing them expressed by someone else.
- Reflect the speaker’s basic feelings.
“You seem very upset.”
“Perhaps you’re feeling sad.”
“You sound angry.”
Summarizing
Reviews Progress
Pull together important ideas and facts
To establish a basis for further discussion.
- Restate major ideas expressed including feelings
“Let me see if I understand you…”
“These seem to be the key ideas you have expressed…”

28. Communication Leads “What I hear you saying…” “You feel …”
“I’m picking up that you…”
“You believe…”
“You’re… (identify the feeling: angry, sad, overjoyed, etc.)”
“As you see it…”
“It seems to you…”
“From your point of view…”
“From where you stand…”

29. Having trouble perceiving clearly? Try one of these phrases!
“Could it be that…”
“I’m not sure if I’m with you, but…”
“I wonder if…”
“Let me see if I understand: you…”
“This is what I think I hear you saying…”
“Correct me if I’m wrong, but…”
“What I guess I’m hearing is…”

30. Signs of Increasing Anxiety (Non-Directed)
Toe Tapping
Clenching Fist
Finger Tapping
Clenching Jaw
Hair Pulling or Twirling
Curling or Moving Lips
Squirming in seat
Leg Jiggling

31. Mediators Responses: Provide support through listening.
Conduct a visual check of safety risks.
Model coping strategies.
Use tone control.

32. Signs of Increasing Anxiety (Directed)
Sarcasm
Incidental name calling (ex: “If he wasn’t such a pig”)
Refusal
Posturing with Arms of Legs in Threatening Pose
Questioning
Speed of Talking Changes
Tone of Voice Changes
Standing instead of Sitting

33. Mediator Responses: Continue to provide support when appropriate
Adjust chair at slight angle to disputants (each mediator should do this)
Provide appropriate supportive limit setting (ex: “I really hope you can work out this conflict here. To do so, I need to remind you of the no-interrupting rule.”
If rule violations continue or if a mediator feels uncomfortable, then call a time out. Exit the room separately using furniture and walls for safe barriers.

34. Signs of Verbal Acting Out
Name Calling
Intimidating
Threatening
Demanding

35. Mediator Responses:
Provide firm and immediate limit setting. For Example, “John, one of the rules of mediation is no name calling or put downs. We need your agreement to stop name calling before we can continue.”
When tensions are high or the risk of physical acting out is increased, you may call a time out.

36. Signs of Physical Acting Out
Hitting
Kicking
Pulling
Clawing
Biting
Grabbing
Throwing any object that is intended to harm another individual.

37. Mediator Responses: Do not attempt to pull disputants apart.
Call for help and remove potentially dangerous objects in room.
Observe which disputant is “losing”. When activity momentarily subsides, call “losing” disputant’s name and give firm command to leave the room.
Developed by Ken Newbury, Ph.D.

38. Stage I: Introduction & Ground Rules
Introductions are made
Get VERBAL yes/no to ground rules
1. Remain Seated
2. No Interruptions
3. Respect each other – no put downs
Confidentiality and Neutrality explained
Explain the 6 phases
Notes may be taken & time out may be used
Any Questions?

39. Stage II: Telling the Story
Introduce stage two
Mediators ask one disputant to: “Please tell your side of the story.” (mediators use active listening skills- good eye contact, acknowledge, open-ended questions, paraphrase, and thank you!)
Mediator summarizes first disputant’s story & thanks
Mediator asks the disputant: “How do you feel about the problem”
Mediator reflects on first disputants’ feelings & thanks
Mediator repeats this process for second disputant

40. Stage III: Understanding the Problem
Introduce stage three
Mediators direct participants to talk to each other (keep disputants focused and within the ground rules)
Ask the first disputant: “What does ____ say the problem is?”
Ask the second disputant: “Is this correct?”
Repeat this process with the second disputant
Ask the first disputant: “How do you think _____ feels?”
Ask: “Do each of you understand how the other feels?” (if either says NO, repeat stages II & III)

41. Stage IV: Identifying Solutions
Introduce stage four
Explain that each person will come up with solutions to solve the problem
Alternate asking each person for solutions
Write down ALL solutions
If disputants get “stuck”, ask, “What do you need to solve the problem?” or “What can YOU do to help solve the problem?”
Read back solutions, one by one. Ask each person if they agree after you read each solution.
Ask: “Are there any more solutions to be added?”

42. Stage V: Resolution Introduce stage five Re-read the agreement
Write down all solutions agreed upon on contract
Have both parties sign the contract
Both mediators sign the contract
Explain the contract will be available for review later

43. Stage VI: Departure & Follow-Up
Thank parties for choosing mediation
Tell Participants: “We will follow up with you in a few days to see how your solutions are working out.”
Remind students about CONFIDENTIALITY!
Mention Re-Mediation Option
Ask for any final questions
Depart mediation in an approved safe way
Give contract to Miss Wise and receive pass back to class

44. Personal Safety Conflict Mediators NEVER get involved in a physical conflict. Mediators always get help from an adult.