1. Use of Sources: Over-quoting and Over-summarizing

2. Overdependence on Source Material
Often times students approach an essay that uses one or more sources with the idea that the sources should be the most important thing in the essay.
Although sources are important when used as evidence in essays, we must realize that they are only used to support your thesis and reasons. It’s the argument that’s important. The sources are only there to back it up.

3. Overdependence on Source Material
Read the following body paragraph. How well does it make its point?
In “Out of Prison and Deep in Debt,” the New York Times says “Often the lion’s share of debt is composed of child support obligations that continue to mount while the imprisoned parent is earning no money.” The article goes on to say that the corrections system charges inmates for many things, and it can become overwhelming. The article claims that these fees and surcharges can add up to $10,000 or more.

4. Overdependence on Source Material
Note that the paragraph only summarizes things brought up by the source. The reader has no direct way to understand what point the writer is trying to make and how this evidence fits into his or her argument.

5. Overdependence on Source Material
Read the revision of the previous paragraph. Is it better?
First of all, the amount of debt the corrections system places on an ex-prisoner will simply lead the person back to a life of crime. For example, In “Out of Prison and Deep in Debt,” the New York Times says “Often the lion’s share of debt is composed of child support obligations that continue to mount while the imprisoned parent is earning no money.” The article goes on to say that the corrections system charges inmates for many things, and it can become overwhelming. The article claims that these fees and surcharges can add up to $10,000 or more. This amount of money is too much for people with a conviction in their past to pay, especially since most people who have been to prison have a problem finding a good job. Without a good job, and with this much debt, the ex-prisoner will see returning to a life of crime as the only way to be able to get the money necessary to pay off debt and support himself or herself.

6. Overdependence on Source Material
Note that this is a much better body paragraph. The source material is only used as support and the focus is on the argument it’s supporting.

7. Overdependence on Source Material
Practice:
Using the article “Community Policing is Not the Solution to Police Brutality. It Makes it Worse,” write a Brief thesis in response to the question “Is community policing the primary key to preventing police brutality?”, and then a few lines down, write a body paragraph that uses the source, but doesn’t overly depend on the source material.
Form groups and share your work. Then choose one example to read to the class.