1. Somethings are fairly straightfoward
Use Amos and Herodotus as evidence to show differences as described below
Divine forces are not active in nature to reward or punish human behavior
Ideas are supported by testable and verifiable data or observation
Science is a (bias free) process or method used to investigate nature
Science seeks consistency between observations and models.
All of these clearly define a difference in operating principles between science and religion. Thucydides is a good example of the bias free method.

2. Proclamations
Epicurus cautioned the public against blindly following the ideas of the physical philosophers, which in turn prompted reflection on different explanations of the physical world. It does not matter that Epicurus suggests religion over scientific thinking because at the time both could not be verified. The fact that Epicurus suggests both denominations shows that he himself has considered both alternatives, and therefore used all authorities to define phenomenon, the ultimate goal of the scientific process.
The above may or may not be true but evidence (what Epicurus says) is needed to support these statements
Read your paper out loud to yourself.

3. Better Care in Defining Science
There is actually little experimentation going on at this time
Aristotle always asserts a final cause – he does not deduce a cause from the effects
Scientific thought is based on a few key concepts. There is no sort of “divine” interventions by the gods or heavens to punish or reward humans, but instead the physical world is viewed as rational, logical, and explainable through proper observation and analysis
This is likely what Bothun/Nicols say but this is an example needing evidence to support this
Observations are Data

4. Good science however, presents a set of observations made regarding natural patterns, occurrences, and experiments without claiming to know the reasons behind said observations
Now back this up with thucydides or galen
Back up your arguments

5. Use quotes in right context; avoid being wordy
empirical determinations of knowledge. = experiments
Human beings began to do philosophy, even as they do now, because of wonder, at first because they wondered about the strange things right in front of them, and then later, advancing little by little, because they came to find greater things puzzling,”
This quote was used on the context that science proceeds by rational thought when in fact, this quote seems to be more that science is a discovery process