1. Transforming Explosive Tantrums
Into Cooperation
Strategies for Helping Children (and Caretakers) Achieve Emotional Regulation
John Sommers-Flanagan, Ph.D. Professor of Counselor Education, University of Montana – Tip sheets and resources: johnsommersflanagan.com

2. Workshop Overview This workshop is rated “PG”
A blend of personal discoveries and evidence
Caveats and excuses
This is YOUR workshop
Talking and not talking – Practice
Communicate respectfully
We will never get finished

3. Introduction
Opening survey
Opening story
Your triggers or buttons?

4. Chapter 1 Your child’s triggers Your best strategies
Why don’t your best strategies work for your children?

6. Chapter 2
A New Attitude
Looking forward to the problem (like nightmares)
Coming alongside for emotion-coaching (Gottman)
Tune in
Connect
Listen, name, and validate
Collaborate on problem-solving (more on this later)
John

7. Chapter 3 Learning to Growl (and make a new plan) The Whispering Story
John

8. Chapter 4 Use Passionate Praise and Boring Punishment
(and avoid the all-natural and not helpful backward behavior modification)
Sara

9. Chapter 5 Grandma’s Rule (with transition support)
When you, then you . . .
Sara

10. Chapter 6 Special time 20 minutes story
Tip sheet:
Sara and maybe John Story

11. Chapter 7 Simultaneous empathy and limit-setting Children at the fair
Offer one warning after setting a limit
John

12. Chapter 8 Mutual problem-solving Role Play demonstration
Identify the problem
Brainstorm alternatives
Discuss and rank the alternatives
Try one or two or three out
Evaluate and report back (Return to #1, while managing your expectations)
Video

13. Chapter 9
Character feedback
Broccoli story
Sara

14. Chapter 10 Four (possible) roads to self-regulation PMR Breathing
Autogenic training
Visualization
John

15. Chapter 11 The Three-Step Emotional Change Trick
Feel the feeling (Honor it)
When you’re ready, think a new thought or do something different
Spread the good mood
This is a collaborative emotional education model
John

16. Chapter 12 React or Reflect – You choose Hand-pushing game Mental sets
John

17. Closing Comments Closing story – That dog don’t hunt
What will you remember?
What will you try out?
You’re the kind of parents who just keep on learning.

19. If you liked this content, check out: