1. neighboring
Lesson 3

2. Quick Review The Grid BLESS: Begin with prayer
Learn their names, Engage in conversation
Seek to be intentional, Share your stories
Plus 1’s
What were your Plus 1’s this past week?

3. People of the Way
The way – a road or pathway one travels representing how a person lives Jesus said the he is the way to the Father (John 14:6) The disciples in the book of Acts were known as followers of the Way

4. People of the way
Jesus identified for us how others would know that we belonged to the Way:
John 13: A new commandment I give to you, love one another
John 15: You should go and bear much fruit; I command you to love one another
I Peter 1:22 Love one another earnestly from a pure heart
II John 5-6 Love one another; and this is love, that we walk according to his commandment

5. A few questions about love
How would you describe love to someone who did not know what love is? Is love a feeling or an action? How can people see/experience true love? God’s answer – by bearing fruit

6. Bearing fruit
John 15:16 I chose you and appointed you that you should go and bear fruit. Colossians 1:10 Walk in a manner worthy of the Lord, pleasing him in every way, bearing fruit in every good work, and growing in the knowledge of God. Romans 7:4 …in order that we may bear fruit for God. John 15:8 …you bear much fruit and so prove to be my disciples. John 15:2 Every branch that does bear fruit he prunes, that it may bear more fruit.

7. Bearing fruit What does showing love and bearing fruit look like?
With regards to our neighbors, what ways can we bear fruit towards them?
There is no set criteria or formula
Each person brings their own personalities and gifts
There is no right or wrong – just that we engage our neighbors

8. personalities Three broad categories of personalities and neighboring:
Belongers: someone highly relational with the gift of gab
Engages neighbors with easy conversation; is the life of the party
Growers: likes to engage in intellectual conversations and learn from others
Less social, but willing to engage neighbors with some effort
Servers: likes doing for others and meeting needs practically
Engages neighbors with acts of service
Which category are you?

9. Asking the right questions
Do not ask questions that can be answered yes or no
Follow up a basic question with a deeper one
How do you earn a paycheck? What got you interested in that job?
Go slow – do not overwhelm people with questions

10. Asking the right questions
What are some good ice-breaker questions we can use to meet our neighbors?
Weather
When did you move here
Neighborhood issues
Kids
Pets
Sports

11. Asking the right questions
What are some questions for going a little deeper into thoughts, feelings and opinions?
Where did you grow up
Family questions
Books, shows, movies
Favorite things
Hobbies and activities

12. Asking the right questions
Questions for when the relationship has developed a bit more:
Sharing hopes and dreams
If you could go anywhere… (and why)
What do you love most about…

13. Asking the right questions
Questions for diving into a relationship with your neighbors:
Sharing regrets and painful experiences
Questions requiring trust and honesty
Questions of faith – be ready to share

14. The other key to relationships: Listening
Once you have engaged a person, the key to relationship is to really listen
Focus on them and what they are saying
Affirm your neighbor – eye contact, smiles, show agreement or understanding
Ask clarifying questions
Make them the center of your world when talking to them

15. conclusion
Remember our motivation – love our neighbors as ourselves Love is an action – it requires time and effort It is essential to ask good questions and listen well Our goal is to meet, connect and develop a relationship that grows over time