Scientific Writing: An Introduction 1 Writing Guidelines for Students

Scientific Writing: An Introduction 1 Writing Guidelines for Students
These slides, which are used in graduate and undergraduate engineering courses at Virginia Tech, come from Chapters 1, 16, and 17 in The Craft of Scientific Writing (3rd ed., Springer-Verlag). If you would like a 60-day evaluation copy of The Craft of Scientific Writing, please go to the following web page: This first slide is a title slide for an introductory lecture about writing in engineering and science. The purpose of this presentation is two-fold: (1) to inspire students to invest time into learning how to write and speak well, and (2) to show students where to begin the process of writing a scientific or engineering document. With this title slide, you have the opportunity to give your own testimony as to the importance of writing in engineering and science. This slide is also an opportunity for you to mention two references (the shown web site and textbook) that students have for improving their writing. Note that these slides use the term “scientific writing” to encompass the writing done by engineers and scientists and the term “scientific documents” to encompass the documents written by engineers and scientists. If you prefer the more general term “technical,” you can use the Replace command to replace “scientific” with “technical” throughout. Likewise, if you desire a term more specific than “scientific,” you can use the same command to insert your preferred term (“engineering” or “biological” would be two examples). Note that all future references to chapters and pages are for The Craft of Scientific Writing (3rd edition). Writing Guidelines for Students The Craft of Scientific Writing 3rd edition (Springer-Verlag, 1996)

The Craft of Scientific Writing
Michael Alley College of Engineering Penn State These teaching slides, which are used in professional and university courses, are for instructors who use The Craft of Scientific Writing (3rd ed., Springer-Verlag) in their courses. This first set of slides draws on material from Chapter 1. This first slide is a title slide for an introductory lecture about writing in engineering and science. With this title slide, you have the opportunity to give your own testimony as to the importance of writing in engineering and science. This slide is also an opportunity for you to mention two references (the shown web site and textbook) that students have for improving their writing. Note that these slides use the term “scientific writing” to encompass the writing done by engineers and scientists and the term “scientific documents” to encompass the documents written by engineers and scientists. If you prefer the more general term “technical,” you can use the Replace command to replace “scientific” with “technical” throughout. Likewise, if you desire a term more specific than “scientific,” you can use the same command to insert your preferred term (“engineering” or “biological” would be two examples). Note that all future references to chapters and pages are for The Craft of Scientific Writing (3rd edition).

Importance of Scientific Writing
This presentation discusses the importance of scientific writing and introduces key principles 2 Importance of Scientific Writing Key Principles audience purpose occasion [Report, 1986] Mapping slide for this introductory presentation on scientific writing. This presentation has two divisions: (1) a discussion of the importance of scientific writing, and (2) a discussion of key principles. These principles include analyzing the situation, distinguishing between style and form, and making the process efficient. Reference for picture: Report to the President on the Space Shuttle Challenger Accident, vol. 1 (Washington, D.C.: Presidential Commission, 6 June 1986), p. 33.

How well you communicate affects your career
3 Survey (Richard M. Davis) Successful engineers spent 25% of work week writing Survey (Wisconsin) Professional engineers found writing their most useful subject in college With this background slide, I try to convince students of the importance of scientific writing. This slide presents three surveys that show different points about the importance of writing for engineers. The first survey was performed by Richard M. Davis of the Air Force who surveyed 245 distinguished engineers. This survey not only found the result presented on this slide (25% of work week spent on writing), but also found that those surveyed attributed their success in part to their ability to communicate. Source: Richard M. Davis, Technical Writing: Its Importance in the Engineering Profession and Its Place in the Engineering Curriculum, AFIT TR 75-5 (Wright-Patterson AFB, Ohio: Wright-Patterson Air Force Base, 1975). The second survey was performed by Dean John Bollinger from the College of Engineering at the University of Wisconsin who contacted 9000 engineers who had graduated. The slide shows an important result of that survey (that the engineers found writing to be their most useful subject). Interestingly, the second most useful skill cited was the ability to speak. Source: Dean John G. Bollinger, “Alumni Survey Results,” Perspective (Madison: College of Engineering, University of Wisconsin, Summer 1994), p. 2. The third survey was performed by the College of Engineering at Virginia Tech. Here, recruiters to Virginia Tech were polled. The purpose of the survey was to determine what skills that engineering graduates needed most improvement upon. Source: Virginia Tech, College of Engineering, “Summary Report of Employer Focus Group” (October 2000). Survey (Virginia Tech) Recruiters claim that engineers need more work on their writing

How well you communicate affects the well-being of others
4 Space Shuttle Challenger (January 28, 1986) Explosion was caused by failure of O-rings in the solid rocket boosters Engineers knew of O-ring problems well before fatal launch Engineers failed to communicate seriousness of problem With this background slide, I try to convince students of the importance of scientific writing. The photograph shows the explosion of the Space Shuttle Challenger. Engineers were deeply concerned about the O-ring design on the booster rocket before the launch, but were unable to convince managers at NASA of that concern. Richard Feynman’s paper from Physics Today (February 1988) gives a good account of this case study. In teaching scientific writing to engineers and scientists, convincing them about the importance of scientific writing is probably the single most important argument that you will make. My experience has been that professional engineers and scientists recognize the importance, while students do not. For that reason, with students, I spend more time on this argument. Source: Richard P. Feynman, “An Outsider’s Inside View of the Challenger Inquiry,” Physics Today (February 1988), pp Reference for picture: Report to the President on the Space Shuttle Challenger Accident, vol. 1 (Washington, D.C.: Presidential Commission, 6 June 1986), p. 33. [Report, 1986]

Scientists and engineers are called upon to communicate in many different situations
5 Conferences Lectures Meetings Posters Reports Articles Proposals Web Pages specific technical audiences non-technical general This slide makes the point that engineers and scientists have to communicate in many different situations. Not only are they called upon to write different types of documents and speak in different occasions, but they also face several different audiences. Given this variety, coming up with a set of rules to handle every situation is difficult, not impossible. Engineers and scientists therefore have to learn to analyze each situation and decide upon the best way to communicate in that situation. This news is hard for many engineering and science students to accept. (Pages 2-3)

Scientific writing differs from other kinds of writing
7 Subject Matter Writing Constraints audience purpose occasion [Franklin, 1952] Purpose of Writing To inform To persuade Writing Style [Peterson, 1987] With this slide, I try to impress upon the students the differences between scientific writing and other types of writing that they have studied. While the students will draw upon many of the things that they have learned in other writing courses, students have to be critical thinkers as far as taking advice that may pertain to literary writing or journalism and applying it to scientific writing. For instance, in scientific writing, the most important goal of language is precision--a goal that poets sometimes subordinate for the sake of rhythm. (Chapter 1) By the way, the photograph in the upper left is from Rosalind Franklin’s x-ray work that greatly influenced the discovery of the structure of DNA by James Watson and Francis Crick. The story is an interesting one from both a communications perspective and an ethical perspective. Watson has documented it in The Double Helix, but take a look at the Norton critical edition, which presents other viewpoints, including the one that Rosalind Franklin deserved considerably more credit than Watson or Crick gave to her in their original article. Reference for parachute photo: Peterson, C.W., and D.W. Johnson, Advanced Parachute Design, SAND (Albuquerque: Sandia National Laboratories, 1986).

You should begin the writing process by analyzing your constraints
8 Who they are What they know Why they will read How they will read Audience Format Formality Politics and ethics Process and deadline Occasion This slide is perhaps the most important slide of the set because it shows what constraints students are under as they begin writing a scientific document. In other words, this slide tells students where they should begin the writing process (an assumption here is that the students understand the content of their document and now must communicate that content). The constraints of audience, purpose, and occasion are discussed in Chapter 1. The aspect of format is also discussed in Chapter 16 and in the “Writing Guidelines for Engineering and Science Students.” The aspect of process refers to how the student actually puts words onto paper. Will the student write as an individual or part of a group? Does the student have a fixed deadline? Chapter 17 discusses this aspect in more detail. Formality refers to the expectations that the audience has as far as mechanics, which is also discussed in Chapter 1, Appendix A, and Appendix B. Interactive exercises for mechanics can be found in the “Writing Exercises for Engineers and Scientists.” On this slide, you should make it clear to the students that no simple recipes exist for the challenging documents that they will have to write. Students should assess the audience, format, formality, and other constraints of the situation before committing words to paper. The slides that follow elaborate on each of the constraints. To inform To persuade Purpose

You should begin the process of scientific writing by analyzing your constraints
who are they? what do they know? why are they reading? what biases do they have? audience purpose occasion to inform to persuade This slide is perhaps the most important slide of the set because it shows what constraints students are under as they begin writing a scientific document. In other words, this slide tells students where they should begin the writing process (an assumption here is that the students understand the content of their document and now must communicate that content). The constraints of audience, purpose, and occasion are discussed in Chapter 1 (pages 2-9) Before animating in the specifics, ask the students what are the most important questions that a writer should ask about audience. Be sure to emphasize the why question, as discussed in Chapter 1. Also, be sure to discuss the differences in style that occur between documents that are mainly informative and those that are mainly persuasive (also discussed in Chapter 1). The aspect of format is also discussed in Chapter 16 and in the “Writing Guidelines for Engineering and Science Students.” The aspect of process refers to how the student actually puts words onto paper. Will the student write as an individual or part of a group? Does the student have a fixed deadline? Chapter 17 discusses this aspect in more detail. Formality refers to the expectations that the audience has as far as mechanics, which is also discussed in Chapter 1, Appendix A, and Appendix B. Interactive exercises for mechanics can be found in the “Writing Exercises for Engineers and Scientists.” On this slide, you should make it clear to the students that no simple recipes exist for the challenging documents that they will have to write. Students should assess the audience, format, formality, and other constraints of the situation before committing words to paper. The slides that follow elaborate on each of the constraints. form process General Scientific Document

Exercise: Pair up and discuss the audience of your next document
who are they? what do they know? why are they reading? what biases do they have? audience Exercise that follows previous discussion.

This course focuses on style, which is the way that you express the ideas of your work
Structure Language Mapping for set of teaching slides (CSW, pages 9-15). Note that I usually explain the analogy of the mountain on this slide (The Craft of Scientific Presentations, 2nd ed., pp ): Structure (Chapters 2-3) Language (Chapters 4-9) Illustration (Chapters 10-11) References for Pictures: Mount Everest: "IMG 2124 Everest" by Luca Galuzzi (Lucag) - Photo taken by (Luca Galuzzi) * Licensed under Creative Commons Attribution-Share Alike 2.5 via Wikimedia Commons - Einstein Statue, Washington, D.C.: photo by Michael Alley Cutaway Engine: Pratt&Whitney Illustration

Three aspects of writing affect the way that readers assess your documents
9 Content Content is the message given Style Style is the way that message is presented (structure, language, and illustration) One problem that many students have is that they don’t have a sense of hierarchy about aspects of writing. These students might equate a small aspect of form such as using a contraction with a serious mistake in content such as leaving out important information, or style, such as not emphasizing the most important result. With this slide, I try to distinguish these three terms. While there certainly is overlap among these terms, their definitions are distinct. Content is the message given, style is the way that message is presented (structure, language, and illustration), and form is the appearance of the message (grammar, punctuation, usage, spelling, and format). (Chapter 1) Form Form is the appearance of the message (grammar, punctuation, usage, spelling, and format)

Style is the way you communicate the content to the audience
10 Illustration [Peterson, 1987] Structure wordswordswords words wordswords wordswordswordswords Language If the constraints are what the engineer or scientist does not control in the writing process, then style is what the engineer or scientist does control. Style comprises three perspectives: structure, language, and illustration (all three are defined in Chapter 1). Students should note that unlike most terms in engineering and science, most terms in writing do not have universal definitions. For that reason, you and your students should agree upon a few definitions so that your discussions about writing make sense. So often, I have seen discussions about writing become unproductive because people invoke terms that others either do not understand or have different definitions for. Terms often used in discussions of writing, but not often understood by students, are format, style, structure, language, illustration, tone, active voice, passive voice, past tense, and the major parts of speech. These are defined in the textbook’s glossary. Reference for parachute photo: Peterson, C.W., and D.W. Johnson, Advanced Parachute Design, SAND (Albuquerque: Sandia National Laboratories, 1986). style

Form embodies the format and mechanics of the writing
11 format typography layout mechanics grammar usage punctuation spelling Information about the format of scientific writing can be found on pages 6-7 and in Chapter 16. Information about the mechanics of scientific writing can be found in Appendices A and B (and in The Craft of Editing (Springer-Verlag, 2000). Both of these subjects are discussed in separate presentations.

Form embodies the format and mechanics of the writing
grammar usage punctuation spelling format typography layout Information about the format of scientific writing can be found on pages 6-7 in Chapter 1 and in Chapter 16. Information about the mechanics of scientific writing can be found in Appendices A and B (and in The Craft of Editing (Springer-Verlag, 2000). This image shows perhaps the most famous scientific paper of the 20th century—the explanation for the structure of DNA. You can point out that this paper, which was published in Nature, has a number of formatting characteristics: two columns, indented paragraphs, serif typeface, reference citations done in a certain way.

The documents in a project often follow a specific sequence
Proposals Papers, Posters, and Final Reports Ideas Progress Reports In engineering and scientific projects, we write a number of documents—from proposals to obtain funding, to progress reports to update sponsors about the work to papers, reports, and posters to document the research. In addition, to communicate details about the project at all of these stages, we write correspondence.

Writing the First Draft Revising, Revising, Revising
We can split the writing process into stages 12 Getting in the Mood Writing the First Draft Revising, Revising, Revising Finishing Discussion of making the process of writing more efficient to perform can be found in Chapter 17. When I first started teaching, I discussed the process of writing towards the end of the course. Recently, I have begun incorporating discussions of it throughout the course, particularly just before assignments are due.

An excellent way to improve your writing is to choose good models
13 Linus Pauling Cal-Tech Conclusion slide to this presentation. One of the best ways to improve one’s writing is to select strong models. Conversely, a reason that so many engineers and scientists write so poorly is that they select poor models. Two excellent models of scientific writing are Maria Goeppert Mayer, who won the Nobel prize in Physics for her work on the structure of the nucleus and Linus Pauling, who won a Nobel Prize in Chemistry for his work on covalent bonds. Both were excellent communicators of their work. AIP Maria Goeppert Mayer

Being Clear Albert Einstein
Precise Clear Forthright Familiar Concise Fluid When you are out to describe the truth, leave elegance to the tailor. Albert Einstein This slide is a title slide for a discussion of Chapter 5. As with Chapter 4, Chapter 5 presents a goal, rather than a rule, for language in scientific writing. The goal of being clear is the flip side of the coin to being precise. If being precise is making sure that you say what you want to say, being clear is making sure that you don’t say anything that you don’t intend to say. This chapter presents many examples of how to achieve clarity (and to avoid confusion). CSW: page 83 Reference for photograph: Statue of Albert Einstein in Washington, D.C., photographed by Michael Alley in April 2002.

Clarity means making sure that no one misreads you
Streamlining language language Avoiding ambiguities Mapping slide for discussion about being clarity. This chapter considers clarity from two perspectives: (1) avoiding needless complexity, and (2) avoiding ambiguity. By the way, I ask the students at this point what the word ambiguity means. Often, students will not know. Some might suggest that it means to be unclear. Usually, someone will come up with the answer: something that could be interpreted more than one way. CSW: page 83 languagelanguagelanguagelangu??

Complex wording also buries ideas
This study will consider why current solar energy systems, such as Solar One, have not reached the commercial stage and will find out what steps we can take to make these systems commercial. R.I.P. This slide presents an interesting example about how needlessly complex word choices can bury the intended message. The original draft (on the bottom) contains several needlessly complex words: “commercialization,” “i.e.,” “SOLAR ONE,” “facilitate,” and “viability.” In showing this example, I show only the original and ask the students which words or terms in the original they would challenge on the grounds of needless complexity. They usually challenge most of the ones in the list above. Then I show them the revision and ask them in a fifty page proposal from which this example came which style of writing would they prefer to read. They choose the clearer style. (Pages 84-85) Sometimes someone will balk at the notion of replacing “i.e.” or “facilitate.” By itself, neither is any big deal, but when the writer consistently chooses such terms, the writing thickens to the point that the intended message becomes hidden. Sometimes students will challenge the word “impeding,” which is not a particularly long word. They probably do so because it is a word they are unaccustomed to using. Because engineering and science is international, one has to be sensitive to whether a word is familiar. The goal of this study is to develop a commercialization strategy for solar energy systems by analyzing factors impeding early commercial projects (i.e., SOLAR ONE) and by identifying the potential actions that can facilitate the viability of the projects.

Stacking adjectives before nouns swallows the ideas
Solar One is a 10 megawatt solar thermal electric central receiver Barstow power pilot plant. This slide shows another example of needless complexity. Another way that engineers and scientists make the writing needlessly complex is by stacking too many adjectives into phrases. The example above, which was the first sentence of a proposal, is an extreme case. Notice that the revision costs a few more words; however, those words earn their keep because they help the reader sort the details. (Pages 85-86) Solar One is a solar-powered pilot plant located near Barstow, California. Solar One produces 10 megawatts of electricity by capturing solar energy in a central receiver design.

Complex sentences misdirect readers
The goal of the work was to confirm the nature of electrical breakdown of nitrogen in uniform fields at high pressures and electrode gaps which approach those obtained in engineering practice, prior to the determination of the processes which set the criterion for breakdown in the above-mentioned gas in uniform and non-uniform fields of engineering significance. At high pressures (760 torr) and typical electrode gap distances (1 mm), the electrical breakdown of nitrogen was studied in uniform fields. This slide shows a third example of needless complexity, this one at the sentence level (as opposed to the word or phrase levels shown in the last two slides). This example on the left is the third sentence of the first paper that I tried to read in graduate school. The first two sentences of that paper can be found in the last example on page 99. On the right I have revised only the first half of the sentence—I am still unsure what the writer intended with the second half. (Pages 86-90)

The more muddled the original, the more revisions are needed to streamline it
In our study, we examined the electrical breakdown of nitrogen in uniform fields. For these experiments, the electrode gap distances were typical (1 mm), while the pressures were relatively high (760 torr). At high pressures (760 torr) and typical electrode gap distances (1 mm), the electrical breakdown of nitrogen was studied in uniform fields. This slide shows how revision is a continual process. The sentence on the left is the first revision of a portion of the convoluted sentence from the previous slide. The sentence on the right is a second revision. Notice how the second revision does a much better job of emphasizing what about the new study was different. This second revision does not appear in the textbook. (Pages 86-87)

Archaic structures sound unnatural
In that the "Big Bang," currently the most credible theory for how the universe was created, explains only hydrogen and helium, we are left to theorize as to how all the other elements came into being. Having studied the nuclear reactions that constitute the life and death cycles of stars, many scientists believe that there lies the key. Example from page 90. Note that someone usually asks about the question used in the revision. The question is not a common way to connect ideas, but it is an efficient one. The point here is that effective writing relies on making efficient transitions between details, and in this case, the author chose a question to make that transition. The "Big Bang" is the most credible theory for the creation of the universe. Nevertheless, it explains the creation of only helium and hydrogen. What about the other elements? Many scientists believe that those elements came from nuclear reactions in the life and death cycles of stars.

Clarity means making sure that no one misreads you
Streamlining language language Avoiding ambiguities Repetition of mapping slide to indicate transition to second half of presentation: avoiding ambiguities. languagelanguagelanguagelangu??

An ambiguity is a group of words that can have more than one meaning
On the second day the knee was better and on the third day it had completely disappeared. On the second day the knee was better and on the third day the pain in the knee had completely disappeared. This slide shows the parallel between a slide ambiguity in a drawing and a written ambiguity in words. An ambiguity is group of words that has more than one meaning. Just as one sees two significantly different women in the picture on the right (one old, her chin on her chest, and one young, her head turned away), so too does a reader see two often significantly different meanings in a written ambiguity. The example ambiguity comes from a wonderful list gathered by Dr. Richard Lederer in the Journal of Court Reporting. I supplied a revision to the one included. (Pages 90-96) Dr. Richard Lederer Journal of Court Reporting

Word choice often causes ambiguities
We wanted to reduce the vibration of the fan at the exhaust as the exhaust ducting was cracking. We wanted to reduce the vibration of the fan at the exhaust because the exhaust ducting was cracking. Example ambiguity, similar to the one shown on page 92.

Syntax often causes ambiguities, especially with adverbs
Only I tested the Labrador for rabies yesterday. I only tested the Labrador for rabies yesterday. I tested the only Labrador for rabies yesterday. I tested the Labrador only for rabies yesterday. Example ambiguity, similar to the one shown at the bottom of the page on page 92. I tested the Labrador for rabies only yesterday.

Also causing ambiguities are pronouns, particularly the pronouns it and this
Because the receiver presented the radiometer with a high flux environment, it was mounted in a silver-plated stainless steel container. Because the receiver presented the radiometer with a high flux environment, the radiometer was mounted in a silver-plated stainless steel container. Example ambiguity that arises from unclear pronoun reference. (Pages 93-94)

Not having commas after introductory phrases or clauses often causes ambiguities
As light hydrocarbons evaporate the oil vapor pressure falls. As light hydrocarbons evaporate, the oil vapor pressure falls. Example ambiguity that arises from missing comma. (Pages 94-96)

When commas are missing within lists, ambiguities often occur
We examined neat methanol and ethanol and methanol and ethanol with 10% water. We examined four fuels: neat methanol, neat ethanol, methanol with 10% water, and ethanol with 10% water. Example ambiguity that arises from missing punctuation. I like to withhold the revision on the bottom and ask the students how many fuels that the chemist studied. By the way, this sentence came from the introduction of a journal paper, and it wasn’t until a couple pages later that the audience could discern whether the chemist had consider four, three, two or perhaps one fuel. Note that in court a lawyer could have made a case for any of the four interpretations and would win because he or she would need to do is to show that a reasonable person had assumed that many. (Pages 94-96)

Being Clear Albert Einstein
Precise Clear Forthright Familiar Concise Fluid When you are out to describe the truth, leave elegance to the tailor. Albert Einstein This slide is a conclusion slide for a discussion of Chapter 5. As with Chapter 4, Chapter 5 presents a goal, rather than a rule, for language in scientific writing. The goal of being clear is the flip side of the coin to being precise. If being precise is making sure that you say what you want to say, being clear is making sure that you don’t say anything that you don’t intend to say. This chapter presents many examples of how to achieve clarity (and to avoid confusion). Reference for photograph: Statue of Albert Einstein in Washington, D.C., photographed by Michael Alley in April 2002.

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