1. How to Talk to Kids About Scary Topics
Deborah Gilboa, MD

2. Why are we Here? Moves Divorce Deployment War Illness
Domestic Violence
Death
Job loss
Sex
GLBT
Drugs
Bullying
Alcohol
Whatever is on your mind
Mental illness
Why are we Here?

3. When is the right age? Consider exposure – will they hear about it?
Under 8 and won’t hear – don’t need to
If they’ll hear or will be talking about it, give them the adults in the conversation
Be their first, best expert
When is the right age?

4. Where do kids learn? Parents Trusted Adults School Peers
Popular culture
Online
Where do kids learn?

5. Why should we talk to them?
Greater context
Help with managing emotions
Strategies for understanding and for feeling ok
Values!
Resources
Practice at resilience

6. The Plan Manage Research Decide Figure out Ask Talk Listen Take
Check back
Check back in
Take
Take a fun break!
Listen
Listen again
Talk
Talk a little! (info and value)
Ask
Ask a question, listen to the answer and the emotion
Figure out
Figure out how much is enough
Decide
Decide the value you want to give with the info
Research
Research the topic
Manage
Manage your own emotion
The Plan

7. Manage your own reaction
Avoid your own burnout
Model this path for your kids – You are always teaching
Positive coping mechanisms
Manage your own reaction

8. 1 2 3 Research the topic Purpose: build your own confidence
Brainstorm questions 2
Find reliable info: 3

9. Pick a value What do you want this child to believe about this topic?
Give a value with your information!
Match it to this child’s age and personality.
Start and end with this!
Pick a value

10. How much is enough? Consider Discuss with a mentor? Find your boundary
The child
The adult
The values
Discuss with a mentor?
Find your boundary
Plan your response
How much is enough?

11. The first talk Distractions Phones/screens Interruptions Where? Short
Mood matters!
When?
The first talk

12. First ask what they know or believe
Start by asking a question
Have you heard about this OR
Have you ever heard about this topic?
Listen
To the answers
To the emotions
First ask what they know or believe

13. Information + 1 value Give a piece of info – and a value
Keep it short, wait for their follow up
Give them chance to absorb/process
Don’t have to answer every question
Be transparent about when you’re done (and why)
End by improving emotions
Information + 1 value

14. Adults matter Tough topics are great opportunities.
Strengthen your relationship.
Pass on your values.
Build Responsibility, Respect, Resilience
Bad things will happen,
What matters is what WE do next.
This is the chance to teach families how to be resilient

15. Dr. G has digital resources YOU need for your families!
Pick a time to talk to her about it! (click this!)