1. Nearly Useful statistics
Drink is the cause of 80% of kebab sales in Manchester on a Friday night.

2. Nearly Useful statistics
It is proven that the celebration of birthdays is healthy. Statistics show that those
people who celebrate the most birthdays become the oldest. S. den Hartog

3. Nearly Useful statistics
"USA Today has come out with a new survey - apparently,
three out of every four people make up 75% of the population.” David Letterman

4. Nearly Useful statistics
"Pleasant folk, these statisticians." "Yes, even the mean statistician is quite nice."

5. Nearly Useful statistics
A statistician is a mathematician
broken down by age and sex.
Never show a bar chart at an AA meeting.

6. Nearly Useful statistics
A statistician can have his head in an oven and his
feet in ice, and he will say that on the average
he feels fine.

7. Nearly Useful statistics
"Smoking is one of the leading causes of statistics." Fletcher Knebel

8. Nearly Useful statistics
Q: Did you hear the one about the statistician? A: Probably ...