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CONFLICT RESOLUTION
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2. What is conflict?
Disagreement | To be Incompatible or at Variance | Clash

3. IT’S NORMAL! Conflict is NORMAL!
We as people will disagree, and that is ALRIGHT!!
Conflict does not always have to be bad.

4. First step: Be OK with Conflict

5. TURN TO A PARTNER What was a recent conflict that you had?
If you could go back in time, how would you incorporate compassionate curiosity into your conflict resolution?
Prepare to share 

6. 9 additional steps to resolve conflict
Credit to ThoughtCo’s “A Step-By-Step Guide to Resolving Conflicts Peacefully”

7. Be prepared Don’t ignore it if you have a true issue with something.
Reflect on the situation
What made you upset?
Check your own behavior! How did you handle the situation or how are you handling the situation thus far? Do you need to take any responsibility for anything? Own it!
Plan what you want to say and how you will say it
Don’t memorize a speech, but practice how to have a peaceful and effective conversation

8. Don’t wait to address it
The sooner you address it the easier it is to resolve
The longer you wait, the more it will fester inside of you!
PLUS the longer you wait may add additional hostility and may beg the question of “well, why didn’t you tell me this sooner?” or may lessen the validity to the other person if too much time has gone by.

9. Find a private, neutral place
Texting, DMs, GroupMe, social media, etc. is a horrible idea. WHY?
Meet in person, and try to remove any physical barrier between you and the other person…establish that true open line of communication!
A neutral location should aim to make both parties feel safe, comfortable, and allow them to want to be vulnerable with each other.
Where would you recommend if your conflict is with your roommate?
Where would you recommend if your conflict is with your boss or co-worker?
Where would you recommend if your conflict is with your fraternity brother or sorority sister that you DON’T live with?
Always remember: praise in public, correct in private!

10. Be aware of body language
Check your body language.
Are your arms crossed? Are you closed up?
What type of reaction do you expect the other person to have if your body language is angry or hostile?
Strive to have peaceful body language that encourages the person to be open and not want to shut down

11. Share your feelings
Everyone is allowed to feel how they feel. Own your feelings and care about the other person’s feelings too.
Use “I” statements.
“I” statements allows a person to take responsibility for their feelings and not place blame on the other person. Placing blame on the person will immediately put them on the defense and the conflict to get worse.

12. Identify the problem What exactly is the issue? Why are you upset?
Be clear. Be direct. Be brutally honest without being brutal!
What caused the issue?
How is the other person feeling about the problem? Do they see it as you do?

13. Listen actively and with compassion
Go in with the mindset of trying to understand the whole situation and the other person’s side.
Don’t assume ill-will!!
Don’t listen to respond.

14. Find a solution together
Discuss ideas of how things can be resolved.
Who is involved in the solution?
What is involved in the solution?
Does either party need help?
Using the other person’s idea(s) should prompt personal commitment on their part.
If an idea is a bad idea, be direct and clear about why it is not the ideal idea.

15. Agree on a plan of action
Verbally agree to a plan
Establish expectations for each other moving forward
Ultimately, each individual is responsible for changing their own behavior.

16. Additional tips
Sometimes you may not come to an agreement, and that is also OK!
Sometimes you may just need to agree to disagree.
Do you absolutely need to agree on this to still maintain a good relationship? To still be friends?
Does this issue need to be the end all, be all for your relationship?
Do you need to block them on social media? Do you need to not talk to them for years?
It’s OK to take time to process.

17. Final thoughts

18. Evaluation Complete the paper evaluation provided AND
Complete the three-second Dean of Students survey using the QR code