2. 79.1 – Explain why we befriend or fall in love with some people but not others.
The Rules of Attraction (Key Factors)
Proximity
geographic nearness is a powerful predictor of friendship.
proximity breeds liking partly because of the mere exposure effect, in which repeated exposure to novel stimuli increases their attraction.
Proximity/Physical Closeness
Availability depends heavily on proximity
Mere Exposure Effect
The phenomenon that repeated exposure to novel stimuli increases our liking of them
“He grew on me…”
(Applies to our perception of our self as well)

3. 79.1 – Explain why we befriend or fall in love with some people but not others.
The Rules of Attraction (Key Factors)
Physical Attractiveness
once proximity affords contact, the next most important thing in attraction is physical appearance.
beauty in in the eye of the culture, but some aspects of attractiveness do cross place and time.
overall – average, symmetrical faces and bodies.
women with a youthful, fertile appearance.
men who seem mature, dominant, masculine, and affluent. 
Research indicates that attractive people of both sexes enjoy greater mating success
We also consider our OWN LEVEL of attractiveness when pursuing partners
The “Matching” Hypothesis

4. 79.1 – Explain why we befriend or fall in love with some people but not others.
The Rules of Attraction (Key Factors)
Similarity
similar views among individuals cause the bond of attraction to strengthen.
similarity breeds content.
Similarity Effects
Birds of a feather flock together…
Age, race, religion, social class, education, intelligence, physical attractiveness, values and attitudes…
Serves to validate us…
Similarity causes attraction; however, attraction can also foster similarity…
Reciprocity of Liking
The tendency of people to like people who like them

5. 79.2 – Describe how romantic love typically changes as time passes.
Components of Love (Robert Sternberg, 1997)
Intimacy
Feelings of closeness; emotional ties
Passion
The physical aspect of love; characterized by large swings in positive & negative emotions
Commitment
The decisions that one makes regarding a relationship
May coexist, but don’t necessarily go hand-in-hand…

6. 79.2 – Describe how romantic love typically changes as time passes.
Sternberg’s Triangular Theory of Love

7. 79.2 – Describe how romantic love typically changes as time passes.
Passionate Love
intimate love relationships start with passionate love – an aroused state of intense positive absorption in another.
Companionate Love
a deep, affectionate attachment we feel for those with whom our lives are intertwined.
in the most satisfying of marriages, attraction and sexual desire endure, minus the obsession of early stage romance.
Keys to a Gratifying and Enduring Relationship
equity: a condition in which people receive from a relationship in proportion to what they give.
self-disclosure: revealing intimate aspect of oneself to others.

8. 79.2 – Describe how romantic love typically changes as time passes.
Love as Attachment (Cindy Hazan & Philip Shaver, 1987)
Studied similarities between love & attachment relationships in infancy and in adulthood
The vast majority of people relive their early bonding experiences (with their parents) in their adult relationships

9. 79.2 – Describe how romantic love typically changes as time passes.
Love as Attachment (Cindy Hazan & Philip Shaver, 1987)
Secure Attachment (56% of adult subjects)
I find it relatively easy to get close to others…
I am comfortable depending on others and having them depend on me…
I don’t often worry about being abandoned or about someone getting too close to me…

10. 79.2 – Describe how romantic love typically changes as time passes.
Love as Attachment (Cindy Hazan & Philip Shaver, 1987)
Avoidant Attachment (24% of adult subjects)
I am somewhat uncomfortable being close to others…
I find it difficult to trust them & difficult to allow myself to depend on them…
I am nervous when anyone gets too close…
I often feel that partners want me to be more intimate than I feel comfortable being…

11. 79.2 – Describe how romantic love typically changes as time passes.
Love as Attachment (Cindy Hazan & Philip Shaver, 1987)
Anxious-Ambivalent Attachment (20% of adult subject)
I find that others are reluctant to get as close as I would like…
I often worry that my partner doesn’t really love me or won’t want to stay with me…
I want to merge completely with another person, and this desire sometimes scares people away…