1. Assertiveness Putting forward your own NEEDS,
IDEAS and FEELINGS, and also
Respecting the Right of Others to do
the same.

2. It involves: Acting in one’s own interest
Expressing and standing up for Personal Rights and Feelings without violating other’s rights and feelings
Expressing opinions fearlessly
Making decisions

3. A commonly believed myth:
To be successful, one Has to be Aggressive
and
To be otherwise,is to be Passive and ineffectual
but
Assertiveness is a happy medium between the two because……..

4. AGRESSIVENESS INVOLVES….
PASSIVENESS INVOLVES….
AGRESSIVENESS INVOLVES….
A total disregard for others
Getting angry or using verbal force
‘ I am superior and right, you are inferior and wrong’
Undervaluing one’s own importance
Assuming responsibility for other’s reactions and emotions
‘My perceptions, opinions, feelings etc. Are less important or correct than those of others’

5. To be (assertive) or not to be, the choice is yours……

6. Aggressive Behavior The body language Leaning forward Pointing fingers
Piercing and glaring eye contact
Jabbing

7. Aggressive Behavior [contd.]
The way you talk
The way you feel
Loud
In control of others
Wanting to dominate
Isolated
Guilty
Sarcastic
Emphatic
Arrogant

8. Aggressive Behavior [contd.]
The way you make others feel
Unfriendly
Humiliated
Afraid
Resentful

9. Passive Behavior The body language Standing back
Little / no eye contact
Smiling even when upset

10. Passive Behavior [contd.]
The way you talk
Apologetic & vague
Self - hating
Hesitant
Mourning

11. Passive Behavior [contd.]
The way you feel
Taken advantage of
Anxious and frustrated
Hurt and powerless

12. Passive Behavior [contd.]
The way you make others feel
Frustrated
Insulting
Guilty
Out of patience

13. Assertive Behavior The body language
Eye contact direct and not staring
Relaxed, moving easily
Open hand movements
Head held up

14. Assertive Behavior [contd.]
The way you talk
Steady and firm
Spontaneous
Sincere
Clear

15. Assertive Behavior [contd.]
The way you feel
Good about yourself
Confident
Responsible for your own actions
Powerful within

16. Assertive Behavior [contd.]
The way you make others feel
Comfortable and at ease
Respected as well as respectful

17. Verbal Behaviors Non- assertive
I’ve invited my friends over for dinner tonight. Do you mind ? [Qs. with no options]
Why do you always want to hurt my feelings ? [Qs. As punishers]
Don’t you care enough about me to call every weekend ? [ assumptuous Qs.]

18. Verbal Behaviors [contd.]
Assertive
Would you be more specific about what I did that you didn’t like ?
I would like us to share the responsibility for the housework
I feel unhappy about what you just did.

19. Benefits of assertiveness
Develop a sense of self worth
Be more relaxed and open
Less critical of self and others
Know what you want from each situation
Develop skills to handle difficult situations
Quicker results are achieved
Goals are easily achieved

20. Benefits of assertiveness [contd.]
Behaviour is consistent
Confidence increases
Issues are resolved quickly
Decision making process is speeded up
Consensus is felicitated
Discipline is felicitated
Priorities are maintained

21. Steps to assertiveness
Assess the situation
Observe the other person
Listen to the message
Respond assertively

22. To become assertive Express yourself clearly and positively
Open conversations without hesitating
Take a clear stand on issues
Stand up for your beliefs
Exhibit consistent behaviour
Disagree agreeably without hurting others
Act with reason

23. Say ‘no’ when you want to say ‘no’
Think before talking
Assume responsibility for your feelings
Empathize with others
Display firmness without being harsh
Be fair in your dealings
Face issues squarely without procrastination
Be a patient and effective listener