1. Communication and Taking Responsibility Lester Freckleton

2. Communication is the key to effective management and leadership, retaining talent & just about everything else!

3. Communicating can be problematic
Communication is more than what we say?
Communication is more than what we say? What does that mean?
It links to taking responsibility. It’s about what we do!

4. “The rules for working are changing…
“The rules for working are changing…. We’re being judged not only by how smart we are but also by how well we handle ourselves and each other”
Goleman (1998)

5. Perceived communication practice;

6. Repeat until communication closes
I speak, you listen
Natural break
You speak, I listen
Repeat until communication closes

7. Actual communication practice;
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8. You want to say something so……..
I speak, you listen
You want to say something so……..
So you are thinking of what you want to say. Missing out on what I’m really saying

9. You impersonate a goldfish I stop talking, you start talking, then…..
But nod in the right places to give me the impression you’re listening.

10. I impersonate a goldfish
And so on until…..
I return the favor

11. We both talk at the same time 2 people speaking & no one listening
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12. Perception is vital
The way you hear me is affected by how you perceive me.

14. How are you perceived (thought of) by your team & each other?
Write down 2 statements based on your perception of me so far
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15. What is perception based on?
Experience, Prejudice, Bias and Stereotypes
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16. preconceived opinion that is not based on reason or actual experience.
Prejudice
preconceived opinion that is not based on reason or actual experience.
Bias
Inclination or prejudice for or against one person or group, especially in a way considered to be unfair.
A bias towards an individual or group will be to the detriment of an individual or group

17. We are generally convinced that our decisions are “rational,” but in reality most human decisions are made emotionally, and we then collect or generate the facts to justify them.
HTA Margret, former headmistress, Day one watch her she’s trouble.
We might work with someone for years they do one thing and we say I knew it!

18. Spot the Difference
Things aren’t always as they seem.

19. 1. Self Perception 2. Perception of others 3. Meta Perception
How you see yourself. X Factor no matter what you say they will not accept it.

20. Self Perception, High and low
How you see yourself. X Factor no matter what you say they will not accept it.

21. High Self Perception,
It’s very hard for them to attack me on looks because I am so good looking
Donald Trump, 7th August, 2015
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22. Low Self Perception,

23. Low Self - Perception

24. Perception of others, positive and negative
How you perceive others,
Ever met someone and not liked them? Maybe you shook their hand and just had a negative feeling, you know that gut feeling!
What about the opposite? You meet someone and just feel comfortable with them.

25. Meta perception : Our perception of other people’s perception of us !!!!

26. What do you think of this statement?
I don’t care what they think I’m not here to be liked!
What do you think of this statement?
I don’t care what they think I’m not here to be liked!

27. Back to those 2 statements….
Why did you make them?
Does your perception have an effect upon how you receive what I have to say?
Intro…..Engineer, College Lecturer, Moved to Creative Arts, Head of School, Executive coach, L&D consultant. Pastor.

28. Non – verbal Communication (NVC); Non verbal aspects of speech
Written
Non verbal aspects of speech
Body Language
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29. ‘The games people play’ Transactional Analysis (TA)
Games People Play is the bestselling book by Psychiatrist Dr. Eric Berne which uncovered the dynamics of human relationships.  In Games, Berne introduced his theory of Transactional Analysis to the population at large.

30. C P A OPINIONS, BELIEFS, VALUES RATIONAL THINKING
NEEDS, WANTS, EMOTIONS, WISHES, SCARES C

31. CP NP A
Controlling Parent (CP) - behaviours promoting observation of rules, should and musts. Nurturing Parent (NP) – behaviours conveying acceptance, nurturing, caring.
Adult – behaviours responding to the here-and now logically and rationally.
Adapted Child (AC) – behaviours often replayed from childhood, that either comply or rebel to rules and expectations of parental figures. Free Child (FC) – behaviours that express spontaneity, creativity and are independent from others’ expectations.
AC FC

32. P P A A C C

33. P P A A C C

34. P P A A C C

35. EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE
Think of the last time you witnessed a colleague being angry in work?
What was the outcome?
How did it make you feel?
Did it leave a positive or negative impression?
Did they apologise?
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36. EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE
“The rules for working are changing…. We’re being judged not only by how smart we are but also by how well we handle ourselves and each other”
Goleman (1998)

37. EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE
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38. EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE
Understanding yourself, your goals, intentions, responses, behaviour and all.
Understanding others, and their feelings.
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39. EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE
Daniel Goleman identified the five 'domains' of Emotional Intelligence as:
Knowing your emotions.
Managing your own emotions.
Motivating yourself.
Recognising and understanding other people's emotions.
Managing relationships.
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40. Improving Emotional Intelligence
Anyone can become angry-that is easy. But to be angry with the right person, to the right degree, at the right time, for the right purpose, and in the right way-this is not easy.
Aristotle
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41. Improving Emotional Intelligence
Do a self-evaluation.
Have the courage to look at yourself honestly – it can change your life.
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42. Improving Emotional Intelligence
Take responsibility for your actions. If you hurt someone's feelings, apologise directly – don't ignore what you did or avoid the person.
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43. Improving Emotional Intelligence
Examine how your actions will affect others – before you take those actions
If your decision will impact others, put yourself in their place.
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44. How do you get your team to perform at their optimum level?
How do you allocate tasks?
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45. Csiikszentmihalyi Me-high Cheek-sent-me-high
Positive psychology – linked to flow. He observed this in artists and Musicians.

46. Challenge Skills High Low High Anxiety “Flow” Apathy Boredom
Flow as opposed to grind doing something that goes against the grain.
We all have tasks we don’t like doing that is different to being in a state of boredom or no challenge!

47. Emotional Competence is the result of putting Emotional Intelligence and Transactional Analysis into your every day practices

48. Emotionally competent leaders are intuitively top quality communicators, they accept responsibility and are effective and productive team members
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49. Is there a common characteristic of good leaders??
GOOD WITH PEOPLE
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50. Thank You