1. Conflict Resolution – 12 Skills
Materials based on Conflict Resolution Network used with permission
7 – Appropriate Assertiveness
1-hour session covers section 4 Appropriate Assertiveness, A B D
Conflict Resolution – 12 Skills

2. Appropriate assertiveness
Saying how it is from my side

3. Aggressive / passive / assertive
Think of a recent conflict, how did you respond?
4.3

4. Fight… …I win – you lose aggressive Examples of behaviors:
Examples of messages:
…I win – you lose
4.3
aggressive

5. Flight… …I lose – you win passive Examples of behaviors:
Examples of messages:
…I lose – you win
4.3
passive

6. Flow?! …I win – you win assertive Examples of behaviors:
Examples of messages:
…I win – you win
4.3
assertive

7. React or respond?
4.3 and handout ‘will you react or respond H4.1’ and ‘flight, flight, flow H4.2’
THEN move to section B, 4.4

8. Three main ingredients:
The ‘I’ statement
Three main ingredients:
The action
My response
My preferred outcome
4.6 and 4.7

9. In conflict…
4.7

10. Objective description
Action I
WHEN
Objective description
action
YOU
4.7 and 4.8

11. My response
You make me feel so angry!
4.9

12. My response – using an ‘I’ statement
NO BLAME
I feel
I feel like
When I’m not able to finish what I’m saying, I feel frustrated
….I feel like leaving the meeting
4.10

13. My preferred outcome NO DEMAND …and what I would like is that I…
When I’m not able to finish what I’m saying, I feel frustrated…and what I would like is to be able to finish my thought…
4.11, 4.12 handout “I statements” H 4.4

14. Appropriate assertiveness
From your perspective (‘I’, not ‘You’) Objective statements No blame No demands
Review lesson – Q&A

15. Conflict resolution – 12 skills
What’s happening in the next session?
Conflict resolution – 12 skills

16. 12 skills – 12 classes Win/win approach Creative response Empathy
DISC exercise
Listening skills
Assertiveness
Co-operative power
Managing emotions
Willingness to resolve
Mapping the conflict
Designing options

17. Ah conflict!
What an opportunity!