1. How to Get the Best Services for Your Child
Team Up for Your Child
“Road Map”
Series
Intro:
How to Get the Best Services for Your Child
© “Road Map” workshops and train-the-trainer guides are adapted for use with the parent workbook Team Up for Your Child: A Step-By-Step Guide to Working Smarter with Doctors, Schools, Insurers, and Agencies by Wendy Lowe Besmann, Melton Hill Media, All rights reserved. No part of this material may be used or reproduced without expression written permission from the publisher. Contact for details.

2. This workshop is about….
Why and how to work as an EQUAL partner with professionals to get the best services for your child.
Simple, practical things you can to do that make a tough job easier.
We will use the parent workbook Team Up for Your Child as part of this workshop, and it is yours to keep after the workshop.

3. Who are we calling a “parent?”
For convenience, this workshop uses “parents” to represent all parents and other family caregivers who make primary decisions about the care and treatment of their children and youth. This might include grandparents, foster parents, relatives, and others.

4. Confidentiality
What you see here, what you hear here, when you leave here, let it stay here!”
Two exceptions:
If a child seems to be or may be in need of protection from harm.
If someone declares a plan to harm her/himself or another person.
If you prefer not to share out loud—just say “pass.”
Adapted from Team Up for Your Child: A Step-By-Step Guide To Working Smarter with Doctors, Schools, Insurers, and Agencies by Wendy Lowe Besmann (Melton Hill Media, Oak Ridge, TN). Permission is granted for use of this adaptation by New Mexico Family Network for family training. No portion of this material or any other excerpts from Team Up for Your Child may be used for any other purpose with out express permission from Melton Hill Media. All rights reserved.

5. About the Presenter: Wendy Besmann
Parent of a child with developmental and mental health problems.
Author of Team Up for Your Child, a workbook to help special needs parents work more effectively with professionals.
Former president of NAMI Knoxville.
Former Training Coordinator for System of Care for adolescents with mental health problems in Knox County, TN.

6. Our life with
David Besmann

7. When a Child Has Developmental or Behavioral Needs….
Family life can be turned upside down.
Day-to-day life can be chaotic.
The “ordinary” rules for raising kids often don’t seem to work!
Parents can feel stressed out, angry, confused, scared, isolated, traumatized, grief stricken, guilty….
And sometimes we feel TRAPPED.
How do you learn to cope?? 7

8. Finding a “New Normal”
It’s an attitude. It takes courage. It takes patience. It takes knowing that deep down, you are brave because you have to be.
Look clearly at STRENGTHS and NEEDS in the child and the whole family (including yourself).
Don’t get trapped by “how it’s supposed to be” thinking.
Build your Circle of Support.
See page 93, “Your Family’s Circle of Support.”
See “The Big Picture” pages 8-9
See page 7: “My Child’s Strengths and Needs.”

9. Let’s talk about STRENGTHS
Tell us:
Your first name
Age of the child (or children) who receives or needs services.
One of your CHILD’s strengths.
One of YOUR strengths.

10. This “New Normal” often means there is a team of “professionals” in your child’s life, who
Use unfamiliar words…
Make you sign a lot of forms…
Keep telling you to be patient…
Don’t talk to each other very much, AND…
Nobody seems to have the “Big Picture” for your child. 10

11. Who else may be on your team??
Who’s on your team?
Medical
Behavioral
Educational
Developmental
Insurers
Social Agencies
Benefit personnel
Support staff
YOU and your child
Find definitions of specific medical, behavioral, and developmental specialists on pages
Who else may be on your team??

12. “Passing the Ball”
Picture your team in a circle. In the middle: You and your child.
One team member has information others should know (“the ball”), such as:
Medication change
Behavior change
Change in the schedule
Change in the system.

13. “Passing the Ball”
Parents often have to catch the ball and send it on to others…
…so questions get asked and vital treatment details don’t get missed.

14. Why “Passing the Ball” is a Parent’s Very Important Role on the Team
Professional may know why negative behavior happens, how their own systems work and how that system’s services can help the child’s needs.
Only parent knows what happens in everyday life—and can gather data from the “Circle of Support” in that child’s life.

15. Five ways to “pass the ball”
Keep good records—but use shortcuts.
Learn key words that open doors, and tell a clear “symptom story.”
ASK THE RIGHT QUESTIONS.
Stay alert for common mistakes made by humans and systems.
Help all professionals who serve your child stay informed about treatment progress and life changes.

16. 1. Keep good records—but use shortcuts!

17. The 2-inch, 3-ring binder
Keeps paperwork (semi) organized and available for appointments, meetings, and phone calls.
At the end of the year, put on the shelf and start a new one.
Provides an accurate, (semi) organized annual record.

18. See Health History Form, page 22
More Binder Basics:
Consider a basic crisis survival kit for passing emergency information
Current records
Health History
Emergency phone numbers, resources for your area
Questions to ask if the child needs emergency care.
Family safety plan if necessary
See Health History Form, page 22

19. The 2-inch, 3-ring binder Also consider including:
“Read it when you need it” envelope
Happy picture of your child
Tip: Mess it up now, clean it up later. Life can be a zoo. Parenting is really Job #1.
For more “Binder Basics,”
see page 21

20. 2. Learn key words that open doors--and tell a clear “Symptom Story.”

21. Telling the “Symptom Story”
Quick list of “top five” symptoms that concern you.
Why? Appointments go by fast--you need to get to the point quickly.
The behavior your child shows at the office may be different than at home, or even at school.
You will be prepared to fill out questionnaires or answer questions that include the same information when you see different professionals.
Busy doctors pay attention better when you come prepared with a brief, written list of concerns!
Adapted from Team Up for Your Child: A Step-By-Step Guide To Working Smarter with Doctors, Schools, Insurers, and Agencies by Wendy Lowe Besmann (Melton Hill Media, Oak Ridge, TN). Permission is granted for use of this adaptation by New Mexico Family Network for family training. No portion of this material or any other excerpts from Team Up for Your Child may be used for any other purpose with out express permission from Melton Hill Media. All rights reserved.

22. How to Tell a “Symptom Story”
Write down symptoms you have noticed:
Medical
Behavioral
Developmental
Then number 1-5 of the most important symptoms (greatest or most urgent impact on your child’s health, overall well-being, success in school, etc.)
See pages 15-20, “Five Steps to Telling Your Symptom Story.”

23. Five Ways to Make the Most of Appointment or Meeting Time
Know your support staff. They can help!
Make a WRITTEN list of your questions.
Listen with the “Reflective Response.”
Sum up the plan. (“OUR plan.”)
Do an “exit check.” (Do you have all your med samples? Forms? Scrips? Directions?)
See page 43.

24. 3. Ask the Right Questions.

25. What are Good Questions??
Often, the most effective way to get the information you need is to ask questions that begin with:
Who...? What...?When...? Where...?Why...?
How...? and “Can you explain…?”
Find some examples of good questions on page 12.
Adapted from Team Up for Your Child: A Step-By-Step Guide To Working Smarter with Doctors, Schools, Insurers, and Agencies by Wendy Lowe Besmann (Melton Hill Media, Oak Ridge, TN). Permission is granted for use of this adaptation by New Mexico Family Network for family training. No portion of this material or any other excerpts from Team Up for Your Child may be used for any other purpose with out express permission from Melton Hill Media. All rights reserved.

26. Remember: Ask about next steps!
Who will we need to see next?
What will happen next?
When can we expect this to happen?
Where will this happen?
Why is my child seeing this specialist?
How can I contact you (or that person)?
Can you explain how….will work?

27. Test results: If things don’t make sense, keep asking!
“I’m a bit confused by this part. Could you explain again…?”
“In other words, does this mean…?”
“Let me make sure I’ve got this correctly….?”
“So if you had to sum up these results in one sentence….”

28. 4. Stay alert for common mistakes made by humans and systems.

29. Busy people make mistakes…paperwork gets lost…facts get mixed up, schedules change….
Make life easier by CHECKING parts of the system where stuff often gets stuck.

30. Ways to Reduce Errors in Lab Results, Evaluations, and Referrals
ASK for copies of all labs and reports. You have a right to get them.
CHECK (by phone before the appointment) that referrals and labs were received.
HAND-CARRY copies of labs and reports to appointments whenever possible. Keep your own copy in your binder.
KEEP A CONTACT LIST in your binders so reports can be sent to other team members.

31. 5. Help all professionals who serve your child stay informed about treatment progress and life changes.

32. When tests are done or plans change, ask:
See “Who Needs What” and “Important Professional Contacts,” pages
“Who else will get these results?”
“Are there any information releases I need to sign?”
“What is the best way to tell Ms. X about this result?”
“Do you want me to let you know if the (therapist/ doctor/ teacher, etc.) changes something?”
“What’s the best way for me to get/give you this information?”
See Worksheets to Track Your Child’s Medication, and Behavior Changes, pages 51-53

33. Five More Rules for Working with Professionals
Keep Your Record-keeping System Simple: If it doesn’t make life easier, consider shortcuts or changes.
If facts don’t make sense: Keep asking until you understand (or they reconsider).
Be understanding about human errors— but firm about seeing results. SAY THANK YOU early and often.
Widen the Circle of Support—gather information, network, get others involved.
Celebrate success! What are YOU, your child, and YOUR TEAM doing right?

34. You are not alone!
Adapted from Team Up for Your Child: A Step-By-Step Guide To Working Smarter with Doctors, Schools, Insurers, and Agencies by Wendy Lowe Besmann (Melton Hill Media, Oak Ridge, TN). Permission is granted for use of this adaptation by New Mexico Family Network for family training. No portion of this material or any other excerpts from Team Up for Your Child may be used for any other purpose with out express permission from Melton Hill Media. All rights reserved.

35. Wendy likes to hear from you! Contact her at
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Wendy likes to hear from you! Contact her at
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