1. Playing Nice in the Sandbox: Conflict Resolution in the Library

2. Conflict is a given in any group setting, from families to clubs, to your workplace. As middle managers, we face workplace conflicts within our departments, between departments and with administration. This session will start with a panel discussion and then open to group discussion to share strategies to help you resolve issues, soothe hurt feelings and strengthen your team.
Speakers
Jill Boreham, Human Resources Manager, Fountaindale Public Library District
Ellen Kaiser, Patron (Circulation) Services Manager, Deerfield Public Library
Kristi Miller, Youth Services Manager, Geneva Public Library District
Nicole Wilhelms, Adult & Teen Services Manager, Downers Grove Public Library

3. Timeline 10-10:15 Welcome & Introductions
10:15-11 Conflict Within Your Department
11-11:15 Break
11:15-12 Conflict Outside Your Department
12-1 Lunch
1-1:45 Conflict With Administration
1:45-2 Break
2-2:45 Personal Reflection
2:45-3 Questions

4. conflict resolution the anti-principles
Make Listening and Speaking Difficult
Hear attack. Ignore additional information.
Ignore emotions or act them out destructively.
Make suggestions instead of listening.
Act on your assumptions without testing them.
Ensure Stagnation or Destructive Escalation
Adopt a rigid stance.
Ignore your contributions to the problem.
Pin the blame on someone.
Prevent Positive Developments
Ignore conflict. Talk to the wrong people.
Assume there are no good options.
Make vague agreements or none at all.
the principles
Facilitate Listening and Speaking
Listen for what is behind the words.
Acknowledge emotions. See them as signals.
When listening, avoid making suggestions.
Test your assumptions.
Change the Conversation
Develop curiosity in difficult situations.
If you are making things worse, stop.
Figure out what’s happening, not whose fault it is.
Look for Ways Forward
Acknowledge conflict. Talk to the right people.
Assume undiscovered options exist.
Be explicit about agreements.
Excerpted from: Changing the Conversation by Dana Caspersen, 2014

5. conflict within your department
Notes
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6. Group Work Scenarios
You have a staff member who repeatedly gossips out at the desk about staff and patrons. It is causing conflict with multiple staff.
You have a staff member who is very vocal in the workroom about whatever she is doing at her workstation - complaining that the payroll system has screwed up again, that Excel has “done something” to her document again, etc. This is distracting to others but no one will speak up.
An employee resigns but returns to the library to bad-mouth the manager and gain sympathy from coworkers.
A staff member sends you an to tell you he observed a coworker being rude when helping a patron.

7. conflict outside of your department
Notes
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8. Group Work Scenarios
Two managers do not get along. This is starting to become evident in manager meetings. Should you do anything in this situation since you are not their boss?
Two librarians dislike one of their coworkers, and complain about her to everyone else within their department. They report every “infraction” to their manager and incite others to “tattle”. Your staff begins to report these issues to you.
Several patrons have complained to your staff about staff in another department (in terms of their attitude, professionalism, or general lack of customer service). How do you coach your own staff to respond? What do you do to improve service?
You receive an from another manager that you perceive as aggressive.

9. Find a different place to sit and meet some new people over lunch.
Lunch / Musical Chairs
Find a different place to sit and meet some new people over lunch.
This will also give you an opportunity to work with a new group for the afternoon topics.

10. conflict with administration
Notes
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11. Group Work Scenarios
You want to take disciplinary action with one of your employees but the director says that you shouldn’t because it is not a big deal.
Your staff are clamoring for information about a big project. You have asked your Director on more than one occasion to speak about the issue, and she refuses to engage with staff. You are caught in the middle, trying to project a positive message while also wanting your staff to respect and trust you.
The director assigns a project to you, then micromanages every step.
The assistant director will give you tasks or projects that she does not have time to finish, and needs them completed as soon as possible. This affects your ability to complete your own projects.

12. personal reflection Notes
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13. Suggested Reading Title Author ISBN Changing the Conversation
Caspersen
Conflict Management for Libraries
Montgomery
Lifescripts
Pollan
Making Conflict Work
Coleman & Ferguson
Nonviolent Communication
Rosenberg
Perfect Phrases for Conflict Resolution
Polsky
Powerful Phrases for Dealing with Difficult People
Evenson
Yes, And
Leonard & Yorton