1. Denial is a beautiful thing, until it’s not

2. Mother of all Addictions?
Chemical Addiction
Mother of all Addictions?
All addiction is caused by one underlying emotion: intolerable, helplessness. According to Dodes, every addictive act is preceded, with or without conscious awareness, by a feeling of intolerable helplessness. This includes all addictive behaviors, including chronic abuse of alcohol, drugs, sex, spending, gambling, porn, internet use, and so on. Here is how it works: When people are presented with specific circumstances in life that they find personally overwhelming, intolerable, extremely frustrating, helpless, instead of responding with a direct action to deal with how they feel, they respond with a displaced or substitute behavior that helps them escape the trap of feeling helpless, powerless and out of control. Addictions are all substitute (or displaced) actions. Addictive acts, take the place of a more direct response to feelings of helplessness in a particular situation. When people understand the psychology of addiction, the way addiction works, they usually can find some more direct action to deal with their helplessness. When they do, they have become the master of their addiction rather than its slave. The bottom line here is, how does one regain control of their emotions, their feelings? Do we respond with a direct or indirect displaced behavior? We always have a binary choice. We can regain control of helpless feelings with displaced substitute behaviors (quick fixes or mood changers of drugs or other behaviors), or direct healthy behaviors that empower us. What is fascinating here is that both direct healthy behavior and displaced behavior are both designed to empower us in regaining control over our emotions, our helpless, trapped feelings. The point is that when there is no direct action a person feels they can take to deal with overwhelming helplessness, they find a substitute (or a displaced) action. Yes, we are powerless over our tendency to take the easy way out (displaced), but we are not powerless to empower ourselves with a direct high value behavior (something we enjoy or anything besides the displaced behavior) that will help us regain control of our feelings!

3. Addictions are symptoms of something else that is wrong in our lives.

4. In the 2019 movie, “Beautiful Boy,” the father asks his drug addicted son, "Why do you do all these drugs?" The son answers, “I don’t know why, when I tried it; I felt better than I ever have, so I just kept doing it.” 
All addiction is caused by one underlying emotion: intolerable, helplessness. According to Dodes, every addictive act is preceded, with or without conscious awareness, by a feeling of intolerable helplessness. This includes all addictive behaviors, including chronic abuse of alcohol, drugs, sex, spending, gambling, porn, internet use, and so on. Here is how it works: When people are presented with specific circumstances in life that they find personally overwhelming, intolerable, extremely frustrating, helpless, instead of responding with a direct action to deal with how they feel, they respond with a displaced or substitute behavior that helps them escape the trap of feeling helpless, powerless and out of control. Addictions are all substitute (or displaced) actions. Addictive acts, take the place of a more direct response to feelings of helplessness in a particular situation. When people understand the psychology of addiction, the way addiction works, they usually can find some more direct action to deal with their helplessness. When they do, they have become the master of their addiction rather than its slave. The bottom line here is, how does one regain control of their emotions, their feelings? Do we respond with a direct or indirect displaced behavior? We always have a binary choice. We can regain control of helpless feelings with displaced substitute behaviors (quick fixes or mood changers of drugs or other behaviors), or direct healthy behaviors that empower us. What is fascinating here is that both direct healthy behavior and displaced behavior are both designed to empower us in regaining control over our emotions, our helpless, trapped feelings. The point is that when there is no direct action a person feels they can take to deal with overwhelming helplessness, they find a substitute (or a displaced) action. Yes, we are powerless over our tendency to take the easy way out (displaced), but we are not powerless to empower ourselves with a direct high value behavior (something we enjoy or anything besides the displaced behavior) that will help us regain control of our feelings!

5. You can't get addicted to a substance or a behavior, unless you have learned it does something for you! Behaviors are not repeated for no reason. There is always a Trigger-Behavior-Reward. 
All addiction is caused by one underlying emotion: intolerable, helplessness. According to Dodes, every addictive act is preceded, with or without conscious awareness, by a feeling of intolerable helplessness. This includes all addictive behaviors, including chronic abuse of alcohol, drugs, sex, spending, gambling, porn, internet use, and so on. Here is how it works: When people are presented with specific circumstances in life that they find personally overwhelming, intolerable, extremely frustrating, helpless, instead of responding with a direct action to deal with how they feel, they respond with a displaced or substitute behavior that helps them escape the trap of feeling helpless, powerless and out of control. Addictions are all substitute (or displaced) actions. Addictive acts, take the place of a more direct response to feelings of helplessness in a particular situation. When people understand the psychology of addiction, the way addiction works, they usually can find some more direct action to deal with their helplessness. When they do, they have become the master of their addiction rather than its slave. The bottom line here is, how does one regain control of their emotions, their feelings? Do we respond with a direct or indirect displaced behavior? We always have a binary choice. We can regain control of helpless feelings with displaced substitute behaviors (quick fixes or mood changers of drugs or other behaviors), or direct healthy behaviors that empower us. What is fascinating here is that both direct healthy behavior and displaced behavior are both designed to empower us in regaining control over our emotions, our helpless, trapped feelings. The point is that when there is no direct action a person feels they can take to deal with overwhelming helplessness, they find a substitute (or a displaced) action. Yes, we are powerless over our tendency to take the easy way out (displaced), but we are not powerless to empower ourselves with a direct high value behavior (something we enjoy or anything besides the displaced behavior) that will help us regain control of our feelings!

6. The first question to ask yourself is, what triggering emotion do I "feel," right before I have that urge to take that drink, do a drug or engage in any compulsive behavior?”
All addiction is caused by one underlying emotion: intolerable, helplessness. According to Dodes, every addictive act is preceded, with or without conscious awareness, by a feeling of intolerable helplessness. This includes all addictive behaviors, including chronic abuse of alcohol, drugs, sex, spending, gambling, porn, internet use, and so on. Here is how it works: When people are presented with specific circumstances in life that they find personally overwhelming, intolerable, extremely frustrating, helpless, instead of responding with a direct action to deal with how they feel, they respond with a displaced or substitute behavior that helps them escape the trap of feeling helpless, powerless and out of control. Addictions are all substitute (or displaced) actions. Addictive acts, take the place of a more direct response to feelings of helplessness in a particular situation. When people understand the psychology of addiction, the way addiction works, they usually can find some more direct action to deal with their helplessness. When they do, they have become the master of their addiction rather than its slave. The bottom line here is, how does one regain control of their emotions, their feelings? Do we respond with a direct or indirect displaced behavior? We always have a binary choice. We can regain control of helpless feelings with displaced substitute behaviors (quick fixes or mood changers of drugs or other behaviors), or direct healthy behaviors that empower us. What is fascinating here is that both direct healthy behavior and displaced behavior are both designed to empower us in regaining control over our emotions, our helpless, trapped feelings. The point is that when there is no direct action a person feels they can take to deal with overwhelming helplessness, they find a substitute (or a displaced) action. Yes, we are powerless over our tendency to take the easy way out (displaced), but we are not powerless to empower ourselves with a direct high value behavior (something we enjoy or anything besides the displaced behavior) that will help us regain control of our feelings!

7. Psychologically, all addictions are actually the same
Psychologically, all addictions are actually the same. Addictions are substitute or displaced behaviors used to regain control over emotional feelings that overwhelm us.

8. The quick fix that we use to temporarily regain control can be food, chemicals, porn, anger, controlling others, gambling, etc.

9. Don’t confuse physical dependence with psychological addiction
Don’t confuse physical dependence with psychological addiction. Physical dependence involves tolerance and withdrawal.
Psychological reasons are why we continue with any compulsive behavior.

10. Addictions are Reward Based Learning Trigger-Behavior-Reward-Repeat

11. You can’t get addicted to a substance (or behavior) that you have not learned does something for you!

12. Stress -> Drugs & Liquor -> Escape Feelings -> Repeat!
There is always a Trigger-Behavior-Reward-Repeat.
Stress -> Drugs & Liquor -> Escape Feelings -> Repeat!

13. Chemical addictions refer to substances ingested such as drugs and alcohol.

14. All addictions are behaviors used to regain control over overwhelming emotions, feelings of helplessness (feeling trapped, powerless and out of control).

15. At CR of course we learn the ultimate empowering direct healthy behavior, is Christ Driven Behavior (CDB) that honors God. We learn to act with the character, conversation and conduct of Jesus Christ. No rocket science here, just behavior science and Scripture

16. Values and Purpose are the main navigational tools in life
Values and Purpose are the main navigational tools in life. To be the right person, that God created you to be, you must think, feel and behave congruent with your deepest moral and spiritual values. If you don't have values and purpose in life, then find them. If you’ve lost them, find them again.

17. When you get your values and purpose from a personal relationship with Jesus Christ, we act with direct healthy Christ Driven Behavior: We behave with conviction, character, conduct and conversation. We honor God. There is no addiction.
Test of notes

18. RECOGNIZE: Recognize our hurt, define it, quantify it, place it (chest, stomach)
REFRAME: Reframe the pros and cons of our behavior. Reframe the corrupted thinking of our hangups
REPLACE: Replace our displaced habits with a direct healthy habit that honors God
Accept or recognize that you have feelings, off and on, every single day. Accept that it is normal and healthy to have them.
Decide or reframe that you are going to change how you deal with your feelings. Decide to pay attention to what you are feeling. Get curious about your feelings, what they mean, and how to listen to them and use them as they are meant to be used.
Learn to replace  the emotion skills you missed in childhood. It is never too late to learn how to sit with your feelings, even painful ones. You can learn what your feelings are telling you, learn the skills to name and manage your feelings as well as the skills to express what you are feeling to others.

19. RECOGNIZE:
Accept or recognize that you have feelings, off and on, every single day. Accept that it is normal and healthy to have them.

20. REFRAME:
Reframe or decide that you are going to change how you deal with your feelings. Decide to pay attention to what you are feeling. Get curious about your feelings, what they mean, and how to listen to them and use them as they are meant to be used.

21. REPLACE:
Learn to replace  the emotion skills you missed in childhood. It is never too late to learn how to sit with your feelings, even painful ones. You can learn what your feelings are telling you, learn the skills to name and manage your feelings as well as the skills to express what you are feeling to others.
RECOGNIZE: Don’t deny your feelings
REFRAME: Reframe or re-think the pros and cons of your behavior
REPLACE: Replace the quick fixes and mood changers of chemicals with Christ Driven Behavior (CDB) that honors God!
When your values trump your addiction, there is no addiction! When you, “value a personal relationship with Jesus Christ” and make it your purpose in life, you are a NEW CREATION.
This isn’t rocket science, this is the essence of behavior science and scripture.

22. Summary: RECOGNIZE: Don’t deny your feelings
REFRAME: Reframe or re-think the pros and cons of your behavior
REPLACE: Replace the quick fixes and mood changers of chemicals with Christ Driven Behavior (CDB) that honors God!
When your values trump your addiction, there is no addiction! When you, “value a personal relationship with Jesus Christ” and make it your purpose in life, you are a NEW CREATION.
This isn’t rocket science, this is the essence of behavior science and scripture.
RECOGNIZE: Don’t deny your feelings
REFRAME: Reframe or re-think the pros and cons of your behavior
REPLACE: Replace the quick fixes and mood changers of chemicals with Christ Driven Behavior (CDB) that honors God!
When your values trump your addiction, there is no addiction! When you, “value a personal relationship with Jesus Christ” and make it your purpose in life, you are a NEW CREATION.
This isn’t rocket science, this is the essence of behavior science and scripture.