1. Relationships
Lesson 1

2. Types of Relationships
Relationships can be based on many things such as:
Physical Attraction
Friendship
Infatuation
Companionship
Loneliness
Possessiveness

3. Healthy Vs. Unhealthy Relationship

4. Types of Relationships
Healthy
Happy
Relaxed
Respected
Trusting
Appreciated
Independent
Interdependent
Unhealthy
Unhappy
Nervous
Scared
Disrespected
Violated
Criticized
Abused
Dependent

5. What Type of Relationships Do You Have?

6. Key Elements of a Healthy Mature Relationship
Respect
Consensual Enjoyable Intimacy
Trust
Support
Easygoing
Fair Fighting

7. Respect Both people care for themselves and each other
Respect each other’s decisions and listen to explanations
Aware of each other’s boundaries, vulnerabilities and need for personal space
Don’t try to change one another

8. Consensual Enjoyable Intimacy
Sexual experience should be equitable, mutually agreed upon and enjoyed
Freedom to express needs and boundaries and have them respected
Problems and issues related to sexuality are openly communicated without fear

9. Trust Foundation of a healthy relationship
Certain degree of jealousy is common in healthy relationship but should be proportionate to the experience
No lying, manipulation or secrets
Always room for other friends with little fear that other friendships will minimize dating relationship
Level of trust and degree of openness takes time to develop and will grow wit relationship

10. Support Given in both good and tough times
When conflict appears, don’t make attempts to lower partner’s self-esteem
Give and take situations, not one-way streets
Committed to bringing out best in each other
Couples realize there are shared responsibilities in career, leisure, child rearing, lifestyle choices and domestic duties

11. Easygoing Overall tone of relationship is relaxed
Couples can laugh at themselves
Couples feel comfortable communicating thoughts, feelings, likes, dislikes and ideas
No physical aggression or threats of physical aggression

12. Fair Fighting
Arguments, disagreements and issues ARE part of every relationship
However, some ground rules should be discussed so that couples can resolve the conflict and increase the likelihood that the relationship will survive……LET’S BRAINSTORM!

13. Rules for Fair Fighting
Avoid physical aggression.
Stay focused on the issue, don’t bring up other issues that have accumulated.
No name-calling!
Avoid putting the blame on the other person. Use “I” statements to help express how you feel and perception of the situation.

14. I.D.E.A.L Decision Making Skills
I – Identify the problem
D – Describe/Discuss ways to solve the problem
E – Evaluate each solution
List positive/negative consequence for each choice
A – Act on a plan to use the better solution
L – Learn about your plan
Describe how the plan will work out
Would you do anything different next time?

15. Violence-What is it?
Exerting harsh language and/or physical force that causes damage, injury, pain or fear

16. Abuse-What is it?
Mistreating a person causing physical, emotional and/or psychological pain.

17. Types of Violence Relationship Harassment Environmental Random Act
Personal
Sub-Categories
Sexual
Verbal
Physical
Emotional

18. Causes of Relationship Violence
Controlling Personality
Sex Role Stereotyping
Subservience/ Passive Response
Alcohol and Drug Use
Parental Abuse/Neglect
Lack of Awareness

19. Controlling Personality
Person’s belief they have a right to control another
Person’s need to have/maintain control over another

20. Sex Role Stereotyping
Belief that men and women have distinct roles ( men are decision makers, females cared for)
Messages given to males about what is meant to be male contribute to creating mindset of accepting sexually aggressive behaviour

21. Subservience/ Passive Response
Belief in “traditional” views of men occupying dominant position
Passive response can affect whether help is sought for relationship violence

22. Alcohol and Drug Use Both are associated with acquaintance rape
51% of dating violence reported by women, perpetrator under influence of alcohol

23. Parental Abuse/ Neglect
This in early life may perpetuate violent behaviour
Does NOT cause violence but may be associated with violent behaviour

24. Lack of Awareness
Inappropriate social action can be linked with relationship violence

25. Indicators of Violence
Abuse
Controlling behaviour
Inability to control aggressive behaviour
Name calling, put-downs, belittling, humiliating
Over-dependency
Partner is a traditionalist
Playing mind games
Controlling a persons finances
Intimidating
Dishonesty
Bruises/injuries
Submissiveness
Changes in communication

26. Intervention Strategies
Act quickly, consistently, confident
Have a plan
Be assertive and use conflict resolution skills
Empower witnesses to act appropriately
Talk to support victims, witnesses
Get counseling, use mediation, contact hotlines
Call police

27. Resources Relationship Violence Support Information
Education wife assault:
Community Resources Related to Violent Issues
Telehealth Ontario:
Kids Help Phone:
Children’s Aid Society of Toronto:
National Crime Prevention Council: