1. Activity 4
Protective Behaviours, Assertiveness and conflict resolution
A resource to support Relationships Education

2. Protective Behaviours Principles
We all have the right to feel safe all the time
We can talk with someone about anything, even if it feels awful or small
Explain to the children that Protective Behaviours are based on two key principles and explain what they are.

3. Early Warning Signs
A core protective behaviours exercise which helps children understand their warning signs for when they feel unsafe. For further information about this exercise and My Support network see “Activities to support online safety and cyberbullying” Topic 1, Activity 1 and Activity 2. and photocopied sheets. Refer to the photocopied sheets Early Warning Signs and My Support Network

4. My Support Network
Activity 2. Each child develops their own personal support network

5. Safety Continuum
Explain the safety continuum by exploring: Situations when children feel safe – ask them for examples, situations when it’s fun to feel scared – ask them for examples e.g. going on a roller coaster, using a skate board, going abseiling, etc. The get them to think of examples of when they take risks on purpose (explain this is when they want to achieve something but it makes them feel unsafe . Ask them to give examples – which might include – singing in front of a group of people, going on stage to act, going for a job interview, taking a test or an exam, speaking up for a friend when they are not sure now others might react etc. Explain to them that all the situations we have discussed so far are when they have some control they can decide whether to go on the roller coaster, or to go on stage. There will be some situations when we feel unsafe but we don’t have any control e.g. when they are in a situation where someone is going to hurt them or bullying them. These are the situations where they need to tell someone. (NB they may not feel safe enough to do this until they are out of the situation).

6. Understanding Assertiveness
I’m not ok
You’re ok
I’m ok
You’re ok
I’m ok
You’re not ok
Explain to the children these 3 different ways of behaving. Practice the body language and speech that goes with each way of behaving. Elicit the body language and way of speaking that goes with each way of behaving. Get children to do role plays when they are acting in each of the different ways and see how situations develop with each of the different ways of behaving. E.g. you are standing in the lunch queue and someone pushes in front of you, your friend wants to borrow your pen but you know they won’t give it back, someone is sitting in your place. Ask some of the group to demonstrate. Discuss which way of behaving works best and is most likely to get you what you want (assertiveness!)

7. Exploring assertiveness – NB if it doesn’t work, it’s not your fault!
Walk away or get out of the situation if you feel safe to do so
Tell someone on your support network as soon as possible
Explain to the children that in order to be assertive you need to feel safe, or to be in control and to have worked out that you feel safe enough to risk on purpose. Remind them that they would need to check their Early Warning Signs before deciding if it’s appropriate to be assertive otherwise they my just need to get out of the situation as soon as possible. Sometimes they can’t stop something bad happening to them but they should always talk to someone on their support network if something happens that leaves them feeling unsafe and out of control. So on strategy is to walk or get away – if they feel safe to do so. Get the children to come up with situations where they might walk away. Remind them everyone has the right to feel safe. They can try to be assertive but if it doesn’t work it’s not their fault. Reinforce this message throughout the teaching.

8. Tell someone on your support network
Avoid the situation
If you know places where people or kids hang around and you don’t feel safe don’t go there
Tell someone on your support network
Explain that sometimes the best way to deal with a situation where they may feel unsafe is to avoid the situation. Get the children to give examples of situations where this might be the best strategy. Remind them that they should tell someone on their support network if there is a situation like this. Discuss the fact the sometimes we avoid situations when it might be better to risk on purpose, but this would depend on the situation and whether we are in control. Ask them to come up with examples.

9. Say no and look like you mean it
Don’t smile even if you are embarrassed
Look the person in the eye
Look confident, stand up straight with you head up
Go through the following slides and explain the different strategies – you could get the children to practice in pairs or come up with different examples when they could use the strategy. Alternatively, you could explain all the strategies and then use scenarios to explore which strategies are appropriate for which situation. This works well as a concentric circle activity. Divide the group into two by labelling them A or B. A’s take their chairs and create an inner circle facing outwards opposite a B. Choose a scenario, agree the best strategy. Take it in turns to try out the strategy – on person doing the “taunting” and the other person responding. Keep moving round and swapping partners as in speed dating. Develop some scenarios that will be suitable for your group. – see below.
You are in the lesson and the person you are sitting next to keeps talking when you are trying to get on with your work.
You are on the way into school and have to walk past a group of older children who are pointing at you and whispering.
You overhear one of your “friends” saying something bad about you behind your back.
You are in the shop with a group of your mates and one of them tells you to steal something from the shop otherwise they won’t be your friend.
You notice other people being unkind to someone in your class. The person ends up sitting on their own because no-one will sit next to them.

10. I messages- Say what you mean
When ……. Happens, I feel……. Because…….I would like…………..
I messages is part of conflict resolution. This links to teaching children conflict resolution and you can find out more activities and links to SEAL’s Peaceful Problem Solving programme Tracking SEAL’s peaceful problem solving process: foundation to Year 6 (pdf format, 80Kb)

11. Don’t agree or disagree Don’t get into and argument or insult them
Use a foggy response
Don’t agree or disagree
Don’t get into and argument or insult them
Don’t rise to the bait
Taunt: Hey weirdo!
Response: Maybe – that’s what you think – I gotta go
Explain the strategy

12. Explain the strategy

13. If you don’t want to do something keep saying so
Repeat the same phrase over and over – stick to one reply
Taunt: if you don’t do it we won’t be your friend
Reply: No, I won’t do it whatever you say
Taunt: If you don’t do it we won’t let you come with us
Reply: No, I won’t do it whatever you say…….
Explain the strategy –

14. Remember We all have the right to feel safe all of the time
We can talk with someone about anything, even if it feels awful or small
We can try to be assertive and stand up for ourselves and others if we feel safe enough to do so
If it doesn’t work it’s not our fault
Don’t forget to tell someone!
Remind children of the key messages