1. HOW TO TALK ABOUT DIFFICULT TOPICS
When it’s not your kid
Deborah Gilboa, MD

2. Who should we talk to about crisis?
are you about guiding kids? Supporting families?
Do you have that trust with your families?
Do you have that training for your staff?
Mission
Will they hear about it?
Under 8 and won’t hear – don’t need to
if they’ll hear - give them adults in the conversation
Exposure
Who should we talk to about crisis?

3. Why should we talk to them?
Greater context
Help with managing emotions
Strategies for understanding and for feeling ok
Values!
Resources
Follow up
Why should we talk to them?

4. How do we talk about it? Manage your own emotion
Figure out the value you want to give with the info
Manage your staff’s reaction
Ask a question
Listen to the answer and emotion
Talk a little! (info and value)
Listen again
Offer resource
Check back in
How do we talk about it?

5. Manage yourself first Avoid your own burnout
Model this path for your staff
Positive coping mechanisms
Manage yourself first

6. Pick a value You are a mission based org – you get to impart a value
Look to your mission to pick the value
This is why they need you – not just parents
Can discuss with your mentor
Pick a value

7. Support Your Staff First
Make space 1
Validate 2
Bring in experts – virtually or real life or both 3
Be responsive 4
check back in 5

8. First ask what they know or believe
Start by asking a question
Have you heard about this OR
Have you ever heard about this topic?
Listen
To the answers
To the emotions
First ask what they know or believe

9. Give info and one value Keep Give Don’t have Be End by
Keep it short, wait for their follow up
Keep
Give them chance to absorb/process
Give
Don’t have to answer every question
Don’t have
Be transparent about when you’re done (and why) Be
End by improving emotions
End by

10. Listen again Listen to the answers and hear the emotions AGAIN
teach self-regulation
Positive coping mechanisms
Be transparent about when you’re done (and why)
End by improving emotions
Listen again

11. Offer a resource Where to go to learn more help talking to parents
Model those positive coping mechanisms:
Other people to talk to
dog to pet
Create a playlist
opp to talk as a group
Skit they can work on
Offer YOU
Offer a resource

12. Check back in Tell them you will Schedule it Do it!
Can take several times
Do it!
Schedule it
Tell them you will
Check back in

13. Plan ahead Talk with your leadership team
Part of your emergency planning
List the mission-base values kids need when hard things happen
Have a policy about what you’ll discuss
Share ALL this with families
Plan ahead

14. Talking to Families Don’t assume Do start Let Leave Offer Ask
Don’t assume they’ve heard, feel what you feel or that you know what they want next
Don’t assume
Do start with story
Do start
Let them know what and why you’ll discuss with kids (after or before if you can)
Let
Leave room for more than one reaction in your communications
Leave
Offer tools, resources
Offer
Ask for conversation, feedback
Ask
Check back in!
Check back
Talking to Families

15. Live your mission!
Bad things will happen,
What matters is what WE do next.
This is the chance to teach families how to be resilient

16. Dr. G has digital resources YOU need for your families!
Pick a time to talk to her about it! (click this!)