1. Family Regrets Communication Attention to Mate
Time Spend with Children
Bible Study / Bible Class
Discipline
Non-Christian Friends

2. What Does One Do When Made Mistakes & Have Family Regrets?
Any Encouragement?
Left Hopeless?

3. Many Great Bible Characters That Made Serious Mistakes
Adam & Eve (Gen. 3:1-6)
Moses (Num. 20:12)
David (2 Sam. 11)
Peter (Matt. 26:69-75; Gal. 2:11-13)
Paul (1 Tim. 1:15)
Point: Not surprising that God’s people will make mistakes
& Serious mistakes at that!

4. Family Regrets: (Major & Minor) Physical Abuse Adultery
Failure to Comm.
Lack of discipline
Dishonesty
Selfishness
Failure to lead spirit.
Absent from family
Etc…
Deal with general principles
Some specific points may not apply to you

5. Hope
for
Those
with
Family
Regrets

6. Accept What You Can’t Change
Hope
for
Those
with
Family
Regrets
Accept What You Can’t Change

7. Accept What You Can’t Change
Can’t change history
Can’t remove past - the fact of mistakes (sin)
History & maintaining guilt – not the same
Accepting doesn’t mean approval or ignoring
David could not change his past (Psa. 51:4)
Corinthians couldn’t change past (1 Cor. 6:9-11)

8. Accept What You Can’t Change
Can’t change history
Can’t change consequences
Consequences & guilt are not same (Exo. 20:5; 34:7)
May have to live with consequences (Prov. 13:15)
Some consequences can’t be fixed or removed!
David’s consequences: Bathsheba with child – Uriah is dead (nothing would change that!)
Examples:
Adultery – conseq.: divorce
Spending – conseq.: enormous debt still paying
Lack of sp. interest – conseq.: children turn to world
Years of abuse – conseq.: strained relationships…

9. Accept What You Can’t Change
Can’t change history
Can’t change consequences
What can one do – but accept what can’t change?
Worry will not change aftermath
“Beating self up” will not improve your family
Forget the things behind (Phil. 3:13)

10. Hope for Those with Family Regrets Accept What You Can’t Change
Seek & Embrace Forgiveness

11. Seek & Embrace Forgiveness
Seek forgiveness with God
Begin by acknowledging sin before God (1 John 1:9)
Pray for forgiveness (Acts 8:22)
Believe that God will forgive (1 John 1:7)
Fixing the worse part of family problems – SIN that separates from God (i.e. Gen. 39:9)

12. Seek & Embrace Forgiveness
Seek forgiveness with God
Seek forgiveness with family
Acknowledge mistake / sin to family (Jas. 5:16)
If sinned against your mate – tell him/her you did wrong – ask for forgiveness!
If sinned against your children – tell them you did wrong – ask for forgiveness!
If sinned against parents – tell them you were wrong – ask forgiveness!
Show genuine & deep contrition (Psa. 34:18; 2 Cor. 2)
The acknowledgment alone goes a long way!

13. Seek & Embrace Forgiveness
Seek forgiveness with God
Seek forgiveness with family
Forgive yourself
May be really hard – especially when realize how bad your mistake really is!
Accept that God has forgiven you!
Embrace it – rather than view self as unworthy
David did (Psa. 51)
Paul did (2 Tim. 4:7-8)
Peter did (1 Pet. 1:3)
Doesn’t mean it is never mentioned or discussed

14. Hope for Those with Family Regrets Accept What You Can’t Change
Seek & Embrace Forgiveness
Determine to Change Direction

15. Determine to Change Direction
Repentance involves a change in direction
All too often we are “penitent” – say, “I am so sorry” – then do the same things again!
Repent = turn from evil (cf. Jonah 3:10; Matt. 12:41)
Regret means – start doing what failed to do (Matt. 21:28-29)

16. Determine to Change Direction
Repentance involves a change in direction
Determine: “We are going to follow the word & wisdom”
We are disciples (Acts 11:26) – means we follow the Lord (Lk. 6:46)
Word is lamp and guide (Psa. 119:105)
Best husband – is faithful Christian
Best wife – is a faithful Christian
Best parents - are faithful Christians
Look for wise direction (Prov. 22:3; Jas. 1:15; Phil. 1:9)

17. Determine to Change Direction
Repentance involves a change in direction
Determine: “We are going to follow the word & wisdom”
Some remedies are painful
Ezra 10:3, 11, 44 – separate from families
May have to end a relationship that involves love!
May have to start doing something that is really hard!
Point: change may not be easy

18. Determine to Change Direction
Repentance involves a change in direction
Determine: “We are going to follow the word & wisdom”
Some remedies are painful
Make a change (have to quit & have to start)
If been neglecting wife – start giving proper attention
If failed family with time – start spending time…
If not disciplined – start exercising discipline
If not considered mate – start considering mate
If created too much debt – start controlling spending
If not rendered intimacy – start being mate should
If barked and hollered – stop barking and hollering

19. Hope for Those with Family Regrets Accept What You Can’t Change
Seek & Embrace Forgiveness
Determine to Change Direction
Realize There is Hope

20. Realize There is Hope
People can be effective after they change
Even though – mistakes have been great
David (2 Sam. 11; 1 Kings 9:4)
Peter (Lk. 22:32)
John Mark (Acts 15:37-41; 2 Tim. 4:11)

21. Realize There is Hope
People can be effective after they change
Marriage can be better after problems
Often hear: “Just wish put things back way they were”
Not what really want – the way it was lead to problems
Example: poor communication / selfishness leads to adultery or neglect
To put back way it was: poor comm / selfish before the adultery, etc.
If correct adultery / neglect AND improve communication – now marriage better than before

22. Realize There is Hope
People can be effective after they change
Marriage can be better after problems
Hope comes with commitment
Committed to making the marriage & family work
Committed to God (Prov. 2:17; Rom. 7:2-3; 2 Cor. 5:9)
Committed to mate (Rom. 7:2-3)
Two people committed will make a marriage work!
Are you looking for grounds to keep things together?
Are you fighting (not just for self) but your family?
Are you looking for common ground?
Are you looking for ways out of the marriage?

23. Hope for Those with Family Regrets Accept What You Can’t Change
Seek & Embrace Forgiveness
Determine to Change Direction
Realize There is Hope
Be Understanding of Others

24. Be Understanding of Others
Respect for others in the family (esp. mate)
Love and respect go together (Eph. 5:33)
Hard to respect one you don’t love / hard to love someone – but show no respect
Matt. 7:12 – treat others way want to be – if you were on the other side of situation
Contempt for another family member – is the most corrosive force in a home

25. Be Understanding of Others
Respect for others in the family (esp. mate)
Put yourself in their place
Sit where they sit (Ezek. 3:15)
Look at it from their point of view (Matt. 7:12; Phil. 2:4)
See things through the eyes of your mate
See things through the eyes of your children

26. Be Understanding of Others
Respect for others in the family (esp. mate)
Put yourself in their place
Be patient with others as you together work to change
Understand change is not easy
Understand it takes a little time to fix some things (i.e. good communication)
Help, encourage & commend (Heb. 10:24)
Do what you can to help – yet that may mean you do nothing (1 Pet. 3:1-2)

27. Hope for Those with Family Regrets Accept What You Can’t Change
Seek & Embrace Forgiveness
Determine to Change Direction
Realize There is Hope
Be Understanding of Others