1. Social Styles Raising self awareness and enhancing your influence
Professor Robert Bontempo
Columbia University Graduate School of Business

2. ASSERTIVENESS - is a measure of the degree to which you see yourself as tending to ask or as tending to tell as you interact with others. .

3. ASK ASSERTIVE TELL ASSERTIVE cautious and reserved about sharing
opinions;
questioning;
low-key, quiet
TELL ASSERTIVE
opinionated,
forceful; makes
statements and
declarations;
directs actions
of others

4. Assertiveness ME ASKS TELLS Ask Assertive Slower pace Fewer Statements
Quieter Volume
Non-Directive/Relaxed Use of Hands
Leans Back
Indirect Eye Contact
Tell Assertive
Faster Pace
More statements
Louder Volume
Directive Use of Hands/Points for Emphasis
Leans forward
Direct Eye Contact

5. RESPONSIVENESS - is a measure of the degree to which you see yourself as tending to control - i.e. keep your feelings and emotions inside - or, it is the degree to which you emote - i.e. outward display your feelings and emotions with others.

6. CONTROL EMOTE focus on ideas, things, data
and tasks; tend not to share
feelings publicly
EMOTE
readily shares feelings;
expresses anger, joy
happiness, hurt feelings

7. Responsiveness More Controlling Monotone Task Subjects Facts/Data
Less Use of Hands
Rigid Posture
Controlled Facial Expressions
CONTROLS
More Emoting
Inflections
People Subjects
Opinions/Stories
More Use of Hands
Casual Posture
Animated Facial Expressions ME
EMOTES

8. CONTROL ASK ASSERTIVE TELL ASSERTIVE EMOTE
focus on ideas, things, data
and tasks; tend not to share
feelings publicly
ASK ASSERTIVE
cautious and
reserved about
sharing
opinions;
questioning;
low-key, quiet
TELL ASSERTIVE
opinionated,
forceful; makes
statements and
declarations;
directs actions
of others
EMOTE
readily shares feelings;
expresses anger, joy
happiness, hurt feelings

9. Verbal and Non-Verbal Cues
1. Monotone
2. Task Subjects
3. Facts/Data
4. Less Hand Movement
5. Rigid Posture
6. Controlled Facial Expressions
CONTROLS
1. Slower Pace
2. Fewer Statements
3. Quieter Volume
4. Non-directive/Relaxed
Use of Hands
5. Leans Back
6. Indirect Eye Contact
1. Faster Pace
2. More Statements
3. Louder Volume
4. Directive Use of
Hands/Points
for Emphasis
5. Leans Forward
6. Direct Eye Contact
EMOTES
ASKS
TELLS
1. Inflections
2. People Subjects
3. Opinions/Stories
4. More Hand Movement
5. Casual Posture
6. Animated Facial Expressions

10. Social Styles
CONTROLS
Analytical
Driving
ASKS
TELLS
EMOTES
Amiable
Expressive

11. Analytical Driving CONTROLS ASKS TELLS EMOTES Expressive Amiable
Logical
Thorough
Serious
Systematic
Prudent
Pragmatic
Efficient
Decisive
Candid
Independent
CONTROLS
ASKS
TELLS
EMOTES
Expressive
Amiable
Cooperative
Supportive
Diplomatic
Patient
Loyal
Enthusiastic
Spontaneous
Outgoing
Fun loving
Persuasive

12. More Telling + More Controlled Behavior
Driving Style
More Telling + More Controlled Behavior
CONTROL
ASK ASSERTIVE
TELL ASSERTIVE
EMOTE
Present time frame
Direct action
Tends to avoid
inaction
Swift action
Maximum effort to control
Minimum concern for
caution in relationships

13. More Telling + More Emoting Behavior
Expressive Style
More Telling + More Emoting Behavior
CONTROL
ASK ASSERTIVE
TELL ASSERTIVE
EMOTE
Future time frame
Impulsive action
Tends to avoid
isolation
Rapid action
Maximum effort to involve
Minimum concern for
routine

14. More Asking + More Emoting Behavior
Amiable Style
More Asking + More Emoting Behavior
CONTROL
ASK ASSERTIVE
TELL ASSERTIVE
EMOTE
Present time frame
Supportive action
Tends to avoid
conflict
Unhurried action
Maximum effort to relate
Minimum concern for
affecting change

15. More Asking + More Controlled Behavior
Analytical Style
More Asking + More Controlled Behavior
CONTROL
ASK ASSERTIVE
TELL ASSERTIVE
EMOTE
Historical time frame
Cautious action
Tends to avoid
personal involvement
Slow action
Maximum effort to organize
Minimum concern for
relationships

16. Style Strength Risk Analytical Amiable Expressive Driver
Precise, systematic
Inflexible, nit picking
Amiable
Supportive, easygoing
Conforming, permissive
Expressive
Enthusastic, imaginative
Overbearing, unrealistic
Driver
Determined, objective
Domineering, unfeeling

17. Style Risk Advice Analytical Amiable Expressive Driver
Inflexible, nit picking
Decide, take a stand
Amiable
Conforming, permissive
Set/achieve goals, challenge others to do their best
Expressive
Overbearing, unrealistic
Restrain yourself
Driver
Domineering, unfeeling
Listen to others

18. Analytical Driver Amiable Expressive DECISION MAKING Uses Facts
Historical Evidence
Data, and Experience
Relationship Based
Trust and Reassurance
Cost Benefit Analysis
Pushing to Conclusion
Vivid Dramatic
Testimony
DECISION MAKING
Uses Facts
Avoids Risks
Takes Risks
Uses Opinions
Reference: Williams and Miller (2002). Change the Way You Persuade, HBR.

19. If you are a…Driver
And they are …

20. If you are… an Expressive
And they are …

21. If you are an …Amiable
And they are …

22. If you are…an Analytical
And they are …