1. A “choose your own adventure story” by: Jacob R. Start

2. It’s your 1 st day for you at your new school, Butt scotch Middle School, and you are having trouble finding your 1 st period class labeled 41D. What do you do? Ask the nearest person to you for help. Try to find it yourself.

3. Ask the nearest person next to you for help. You look around and find a teacher roaming the halls. You walk up to her to ask for help but she yells, “WHY ARE YOU NOT IN CLASS! GO TO THE AP’S OFFICE NOW!!!!” What do you do? Yell back at her. Shy away and go to the AP’s office.

4. Try to find it your self. You keep roaming the halls, scanning each room. Suddenly you find a room labeled 41D. You walk in and notice the teacher at the front of the room. He/she is wearing a flower dress, has very short brown hair, talks in a low and deep voice, and has a name tag that reads “Michel Jones”. You keep walking and ask the teacher, “I’m looking for……”What do you say? Mr. Jones. Mrs. Jones.

5. Yell back at her. You yell back at her that you are a new student and you are having a hard time finding your 1 st period class in 41D. She politely apologizes to you and helps you find 41D. On your way there you run into a girl. You are surprisingly attracted to her. As you approach 41D she walks into the room right next to it, 42D. The teacher with you asks, “Did you say 41D or 42D?” What do you say? 41D 42D

6. Shy away and go to the AP’s office. Once you reach the AP’s office the assistant principle asks,” Why are you here?” you respond with, “I’m a new student here and I couldn’t find my 1 st period class. I tried to ask for help but a teacher yelled at me and sent me here.” The AP looks at you in disbelief. She scans your appearance and says,” Ya right. Do you know how many people have tried to pull that one on me? You’re that John Morgan kid that always has to go to the bathroom.” She hands you a white slip of paper and says, “Go to 17E for detention.” What do you do? Take the slip and go to 17E. Try to explain how you’re not John Morgan.

7. Mr. Jones “I’m looking for Mr. Jones.” the teacher looks at you furiously. “MY NAME IS MRS. JONES! I am very disappointed even though you are a new student here. But you should at least address someone correctly! Go to the principal’s office NOW!” What do you do? Apologize for use mistake. Go to the principal’s office.

8. Mrs. Jones “I’m looking for Mrs. Jones.” The teacher replies with,” This is she. You must be our new student. As you already know I am Mrs. Jones. Please take a seat and I’ll be with you in a minute to get you caught up.” You go to your seat and get through the 1 st period of the day with no trouble. The End

9. 41D Once you walk in to 41D you see a teacher at the front that is wearing a flower dress, has very short brown hair, talks in a low and deep voice, and has a name tag that reads “Michel Jones”. The teacher that was helping you introduces you to MRS. Jones, imagine if you called her Mr. Jones, and you finish the day knowing that you stood up for yourself. The End

10. 42D Knowing that you have walked into the wrong room on purpose you stare at the class looking for the girl that you had run into a few seconds earlier. You suddenly spot her in the 4 th row of the 2 nd column and no one is sitting to her left. Inside you feel like the luckiest person alive. The teacher helping you says to the teacher of the classroom that you are their new student. The teacher of the class looks puzzled and then decides to let you into her class. You immediately start walking to the seat next to the girl you had run into. You sit down and start a lovely conversation with her and she becomes you 1 st new friend. How lucky. The End

11. Take the slip and go to 17E. As frustrated as you are that no one seems to get the memo that you are a new student, you take the slip and head over to 17E without a word because you don’t want to get on the assistant principles bad side on your 1 st day at your new school. Oh wait, you already have! Once you arrive at the door to room 17E you notice in all cap the word “DETENTION”. After entering the room you hand the slip that was given to you by the assistant principle to the lady at the back of the room. She says,” alright John, go sit at the desk right in front of me and don’t say a word!” you reply with,” my name is not John.” She says,” well I don’t care. All I know is that the assistant principle emailed me saying that a kid named John Morgan, that clams he’s a new student trying to find his 1 st period class, is being sent down here to detention for not being in class on time and tried to make a stupid excuse just so he wouldn’t get a tardy slip. Now sit down and shut up! Lost, confused, and frustrated you sit down and wait for the 4 hours of torture to end. The End DETENTION

12. Try to explain how your not John Morgan. “I’m sorry but I’m not John Morgan. I’m telling the truth I swear! I’m a new student and I can find my 1 st period class.” Right as you finished a student walked in. the assistant principle asked,” why are you here?” the student says,” I’m a new student and I cant find my 1 st period class. A teacher yelled at me for not being class and sent me here. Can you please help me?” shocked in disbelief you can’t believe that that kid just used that excuse. You quickly unzip his back pack and find his name written on the inside. It read “John Morgan”. Immediately you say,” this guy is John Morgan. Not me. See!” you show the Assistant Principle the back pack and she apologizes for her mistake. She then helps you to your 1 st period class and you finish the day with no more troubles. The End

13. Apologize for your mistake. “No, I’m sorry. It was a mistake. I take it back. I’m sorry.” You look at the rest of the class to try to find some help but everyone just stares at you in disgust. Mrs. Jones says,” Go to the principal’s office now!” you reply,” No, please, I’m soooo sorry, please forgive me.” She replies with,” fine. If you don’t want to go to the principal’s office then I guess you’ll have to suffer the Atomic Wedgie!” Mrs. Jones grabs you by the shoulders and lifts you up. She then grabs your underwear and hooks it to a coat hanger on the wall. Right as she lets go of you, you immediately feel the enormous amount of pain in your butt. While you groan and moan everyone else is laughing and gigging. “You will remain there for the rest of the period.” Mrs. Jones says. For the rest of the year you are known as “Stretchy Pants”. The End

14. Go to the Principles office. Once you arrive at the principal’s office you explain what happened and are put on suspension for 7 months for “Misuse of Gender on a(n) Adult/Teacher” and are grounder by your parents until you graduate high school. The End