1. Dating and Rejection Teens/ Youth Dating and Rejection Teens/ Youth Riżorsa Kateketika

2. Principles for dating BE wise there is a whole difference between BE wise there is a whole difference between Character and personality Character and personality Many made the mistake of falling for the personality; eventually were greatly surprised by the character! Many made the mistake of falling for the personality; eventually were greatly surprised by the character! Not all that glitters is gold ! Not all that glitters is gold !

3. Date people your own age; Date people your own age; Don’t date too young; Don’t date too young; As you are still very,very young, go out in groups; enjoy your youth! As you are still very,very young, go out in groups; enjoy your youth! Set your own boundaries; Set your own boundaries; Set clear goals; get clear on what is really important to you and where you won’t compromise/negotiate. Set clear goals; get clear on what is really important to you and where you won’t compromise/negotiate.

4. Don’t date just anyone...be choosy; Don’t date just anyone...be choosy; Date people with good reputation; Date people with good reputation; Stay away from compromising situations; Stay away from compromising situations; Learn how to say NO in words. Learn how to say NO in words. It is proven scientifically that very few marry the person they date in their teens. It is proven scientifically that very few marry the person they date in their teens. The basis of a good relationship is The basis of a good relationship is FRIENDSHIP. Invest in Friendship. FRIENDSHIP. Invest in Friendship. Friendship is not secret dropping. Friendship is not secret dropping.

5. Think and ponder wisely: Remember: Remember: Between the chatting on the internet and the social contact there is a big difference…invest well – give quality time to your friendship...relationship. Not all friendships lead to marriage. Not all friendships lead to marriage. Regretfully, not all marriages are friendships. Regretfully, not all marriages are friendships. While friendship is the ideal for marriage, married friendship is the model for all human relationships. While friendship is the ideal for marriage, married friendship is the model for all human relationships.

6. Signs that the relationship is not healthy The centre of your life becomes your boyfriend/girlfriend; The centre of your life becomes your boyfriend/girlfriend; Your mood each day is dependent on how your girlfriend/boyfriend treats you; Your mood each day is dependent on how your girlfriend/boyfriend treats you; You become possessive and jealous; You become possessive and jealous; You stop spending time with your friends and family and spend virtually all your time with your boyfriend/girlfriend. You stop spending time with your friends and family and spend virtually all your time with your boyfriend/girlfriend.

7. When you see that the relationship is not healthy- REMEDY : Maintain the proper centre. Be more confident and stabler, less dependent upon how others treat you. Maintain the proper centre. Be more confident and stabler, less dependent upon how others treat you. REMEMBER: You own yourself, your boyfriend/girlfriend cannot own you. You own yourself, your boyfriend/girlfriend cannot own you.

8. This is NOT Love: in an unhealthy relationship, the partner makes you: Cry all the time; Cry all the time; Do or say things that make you feel stupid/worthless; Do or say things that make you feel stupid/worthless; Keep you from doing the things you like to do; Keep you from doing the things you like to do; Threaten to harm you and/or themselves if you leave them; Threaten to harm you and/or themselves if you leave them; Lie or hide things from you; Lie or hide things from you; Always expects to get their way. Always expects to get their way. Laugh at you because you are religio us, because you attend religious groups; calls you churchy! Laugh at you because you are religio us, because you attend religious groups; calls you churchy!

9. What leads to rejection/breaking up Ultimatums: he/she gives you time to do something, usually something unpleasant; Ultimatums: he/she gives you time to do something, usually something unpleasant; Saviour complex: one cannot change people-one can only change oneself -move on; Saviour complex: one cannot change people-one can only change oneself -move on; Too many Lies in the relationship Too many Lies in the relationship Frequent sayings by the partner: 1. You will never find anyone who loves you,except me!!! This is not healthy. 2. If you leave me, I’ll hurt myself. This is not healthy at all!! Frequent sayings by the partner: 1. You will never find anyone who loves you,except me!!! This is not healthy. 2. If you leave me, I’ll hurt myself. This is not healthy at all!!

10. Breaking a relationship Intelligent way: Break up on the phone: voice to voice Break up on the phone: voice to voice Never break a relationship through an email/ facebook/ sms. Tell family/best friend/youth leader, about breaking the relationship. Tell family/best friend/youth leader, about breaking the relationship. Pray; let God be in your life. ALWAYS pray before taking a decision. Never take a decison when you are upset. Pray; let God be in your life. ALWAYS pray before taking a decision. Never take a decison when you are upset.

11. In terminating a relationship: Always be polite and charitable; Always be polite and charitable; State your reasons in an objective way; State your reasons in an objective way; Be true to what you say; Be true to what you say; Combine intelligence with emotions/feelings. Combine intelligence with emotions/feelings.

12. NEVER terminate a relationship thus: Alone facing the person in a private, secluded place; Alone facing the person in a private, secluded place; NEVER underestimate the partner’s capabilities. Strong emotions might rule…just be careful and intelligent! NEVER underestimate the partner’s capabilities. Strong emotions might rule…just be careful and intelligent!

13. Rule of the thumb when you have been rejected in a relationship Address the pain...rejection hurts, face it. Address the pain...rejection hurts, face it. Avoid needless anguish; take a good look at what the reasons where that led to rejection. Let it go... learn from the experience...move on. Avoid needless anguish; take a good look at what the reasons where that led to rejection. Let it go... learn from the experience...move on. Keep yourself occupied wisely, join a group;get involved in activities -voluntary work. Keep yourself occupied wisely, join a group;get involved in activities -voluntary work. Give yourself time and space before engaging into another relationship. Give yourself time and space before engaging into another relationship. Pray for healing; do your part as well. Pray for healing; do your part as well.

14. Riflessjonijiet mill-Bibbja dwar rejection f’relazzjoni. Lk 4: 16-30. Ġesù fis-Sinagoga ġie Lk 4: 16-30. Ġesù fis-Sinagoga ġie mwarrab minn niesu stess. mwarrab minn niesu stess. Mt 9: 9-13. Meta Marija ħaslet saqajn Mt 9: 9-13. Meta Marija ħaslet saqajn Ġesu’: ħniena rrid u mhux Ġesu’: ħniena rrid u mhux sagrifiċċju. sagrifiċċju. Itlob u rrifletti b’Salm 38 Itlob u rrifletti b’Salm 38

15. Anke jekk tħossok imwarrab/imwarrba minn bosta nies: ftakar li Alla qatt mhu ser jinsiek. Isaija 49:15-16: Anke jekk omm tinsa lit- tarbija tagħha, jiena qatt tarbija tagħha, jiena qatt ma ninsiek...naqqaxtek fuq ma ninsiek...naqqaxtek fuq il-pala t’idejja. il-pala t’idejja.

16. Sr.Alexandra Chircop,fcj Segretarjat ghall-Katekezi